Run Dry

This morning I went to my Practicum Reflection class and I basically had my life story over the last couple years told to me. Pretty amazing. What I mean is that the situation that I'm in right now is pretty much what the speaker described.

We've all heard the analogy of the cup pouring out and being refilled in ministry before; but I guess when I heard him talk about it, it finally hit home. It all makes sense too, I've been pouring out, giving God everything I had over the last several years without ever really replenishing a whole lot of what filled me in the first place. Not to say that there wasn't any filling at all, because there have been, just not enough to keep me going. And since the school year started, I've been pouring out at a rate much faster and more than I have been for a very long time. So it was kind of inevitable, I've now run dry. It is exactly how I feel too, I just don't have anything more to give into any area of my life as of right now. I keep trying to, but I've exhausted everything I have.

This applies to ministry, my friends, people I care about, etc. When you're thirsty, the first thing you really think about is where you can find water to drink. If I've been a bit "needy," that explains everything and I apologize. It'd be dumb for me to not admit that I have been so out of my usual character over the last couple months. I'm just not who I usually am.

So I'm going to try to work myself up to being filled up again. Quite honestly, though, I don't know where to turn. There's a lot of people I trust, but I just don't know if they'd really want to spend the time to "pour into me," so to speak. It doesn't take a lot, because for me, all I really do is be there for people. I know I don't really say a lot, some times because I can't, but being present and with people is my way of pouring out to them. That's all I can really do and that's all I really need.

Still searching.