I experienced one of the most painful things in my life today. When first asked if it was something I wanted to do, I really didn't want to; but I knew that I'd eventually have to deal with these things, so that's why I chose to go.
For many of us that have had been in that situation before, I am sorry that you had to go through it. Yesterday, I was informed that there was someone from the church who only had a few days left to live. I was asked if I wanted to go visit her at the nursing home today. Knowing that she was basically unconscious and starting to get cold, the thought of the possibility that she might pass on right in front of me was a thought that made me feel the most uncomfortable I'd been in a long time.
As with a lot of things in life, I just kind of did it; I just showed up. When I entered the room with the associate pastor, I saw her laying on the bed, her husband sitting beside her, and her daughter and son in law around as well. George Beverly Shea was being played in the background, and before anything was really said, the mood was as sombre as it would have been during a funeral service.
Then, I was blown away by the strength and, I might even say, joy that came from the lady's daughter. She was just trying to bring us up to date on what's been going on, and she seemed to be so free of worry. It caught me so off guard because I was being absolutely swallowed by the whole thing of someone slowly passing away right in front of me, and here is a lady, a daughter, who seemed to be in good spirits.
Such is the hope and peace that is found in Christ Jesus.
We sat there, and as the daughter was telling us a couple stories and recounting some memories with us, I saw the lady's husband in the background trying so hard to hold back tears. As a husband, what is it like to see your wife laying there during her last few days? I can't even begin to fathom what that's like.
We didn't stay long, because they seemed to have already been overwhelmed with the amount of visitors over the last day and a little bit. Before we left, I was asked to pray, and this is probably where I might have potentially screwed the whole thing up. I didn't know what to say. I can't even remember much of what I actually prayed about, but the words that came out of my mouth probably didn't make much sense. It was tough.
I've mentioned that I've had to deal with the idea of death so much more recently, and it still kind of haunts me. When the day started, I wanted to and needed to do a few things today; but after the visit, I really couldn't work myself up to doing much for the rest of the day.
I'm just so glad that their family is a believing family, so we can look forward to having the lady be with the Lord rather than feel pain and suffering down here on earth. I'd been told a few times by different people, who have the experience, that the difference between Christian families and secular families during the times of the passing of a family member seems to be night and day. So don't even ask me how I'd be if I had to go through it with a non-believing family.
Before we left, we said that we'd try to see them again tomorrow. If that is a possibility, I think I want to be back there with them.
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