Price Tag

"Today is my mom's birthday."

I used that as an excuse to go shopping this morning. And from what was intended to be just a casual trip, I came home with more to think about than just the things that I bought.

I've been eying a new pair of jeans and a zip-up hoodie for a while now. So I saw this as the perfect opportunity to seize the time that I have left in Edmonton to buy something as a "reward" for myself before I go back to school.

So I walked out of the store spending quite a bit of money buying those two items that I wanted and started to think about what my mom would want. I always feel like buying presents for moms are always the hardest. They never really want anything; even if they do, they'll never say it because they always put the family first.

Then I walked into the store and I saw a few neat things that I thought I could get. And then I looked at the price tag. There were two different things I wanted to get my mom but the price just could not justify me buying it. After debating for probably 10 minutes, I decided just to get them anyway. As I walk out the store I thought to myself, "why is it that I can so easily spend $200 on myself but struggle to spend $30 for my mom?" And on came the wave of guilty thoughts about how my mom has put us first all our lives, and blah blah blah. I think that even though the prices I paid for the two things I got my mom was a little more than what they should've cost, I should probably stop letting the price of something get in the way of showing someone how much I appreciate them. Sure, there's going to be a line that you can't really cross if something is ridiculously overpriced; but if I can so easily dish out an arm or a leg to buy something for myself, I should be able to do the same for others.

And I thought that when I left the mall, that was the end of it. I pulled close to the stop light where I needed to turn back onto 170th St., and I saw a guy holding a sign that said "I'm hungry. Can you help? I'm sorry." Normally, I just bypass these people without thinking much. And a lot of times, there are people that aren't really hungry and just want the money for drugs or whatever. But regardless of how they got into such a situation, it's a sad story. And this guy looked pretty legit in not having any food - he was pretty young, mid to late 20s is my guess. Even though I don't really care much for most of the people that I pass by with signs, it breaks my heart every time I see one. Whether or not they really need the money for food, having to resort to standing on the street and holding up a sign in hopes that someone feels bad for you is really unfortunate.

I take a look at myself and I know what it's like to not have enough money. Of course, my not having money is totally different from what the people on the streets see has not having money. My not having money is that I don't have enough to pay for school next year. The fortunate thing for me is that I still have a family that is looking out for me in providing what I don't have. And I look at my life and the way I just walked out of the mall spending over $200 while shopping for things that I really don't need, to seeing a guy that just wants money for lunch, it makes me feel like a dick.

So I reached into my pocket and pulled out whatever change I had, add onto the little bit that was just sitting in my cup holder, and I gave all of it to the guy. It was barely 5 bucks, but the smile and appreciation he had brought such joy to me because it felt like I wasn't giving out of reluctance or pity; but rather it was because I wanted to help him.

I've talked many times about leaving a "legacy" behind wherever you go so you can be take a look at how you'll be remembered. I've also talked a lot about how I want it so that when people look at me, they see Jesus. When I put these two things together, I wish that the people that I help out won't remember me for what I did, but the act itself that provided for something that they might not have gotten if it wasn't for it.

It's unfortunate that a source of payment runs this world. I'll never know that guy's name; and I'll probably never see him again; but I hope that through all the people that's provided for him, he'll be drawn toward Jesus more and more.

Forget about the price tag.