Outlet For Outreach

At some point in my current tenure here at Newbern, I've realized ("accepted" might be the better word) that a whole lot of what I want to do has to be done by myself, or no one will really do it. You could say that it's a lesson in independency as a whole, but as far as my ministry goes, I'd say it holds most true.

It's been very interesting for me to try to get a feel for the temperature and climate of what this church is currently like. What I've observed over the first year is actually really intriguing to me and I'm actually quite fascinated by it. I think that if I described the nature of my church here to the average person, they'd potentially be turned off by the prospect of wanting to attend. It's interesting, really. You might say to me, "wow, where is your professional integrity in throwing your church under the bus like that on a personal blog?" Yeah, I'll probably admit that sometimes I'm too blunt and lack a bit of a filter - I'm still young and learning how to express myself appropriately.

What I'm really saying, though, is that I think with any church I'd ever work with, especially as a minister, I'd see all the holes that I'd want to fill up. If all I was focused on were the holes and flaws, then for sure you can question me in my integrity and reason for doing what I do. However, I don't really find myself doing that. When I'm analyzing, I'm really analyzing the people. If I see a certain part of the church a certain way, it's usually a result of and a cause of the people in the church.

So, because the church is composed of broken people, obviously there's going to be a lot of areas we'd want to address. I'm interested in transforming lives, not creating the best program in town.

Before I get too far off track, let me reel it back in.

One, I guess you could call it, obstacle that I've encountered so far is how to keep contact and reach the people in my church. In 2015, it seems the world revolves around and is hinged upon the use of social media. Companies have people hired as full-time staff strictly in charge of their social image and communications via social media.

Now, I'd signed up for Facebook in 2007 and got my Twitter handle in 2009, before they really became what they are now, but I guess I never realized how important they would be in ministry. It's so much easier to message someone on Facebook than it is to even text them nowadays. The chances are if I wanted people to know something, posting on Facebook will grant a higher chance of it being viewed than anything else.

I've only ever been a lurker on Facebook, rarely ever interacting with the posts I see when I scroll down the newsfeed. But I'm seeing now, after some brief experimenting, that if I pretty-up a Facebook post, it will attract more attention about maybe an announcement I want to make, or a gathering that I want to set up. It really baffles me.

Given who I am, you'd think I'd almost be an expert with this kind of stuff, but I'm really slow and behind. Several times in the past couple weeks I've even thought to myself, "man, I need to hire someone to take care of the media stuff for me." Obviously, I said it with tongue in cheek, but it's really indicative of what the best way to reach my congregation is. Everytime I open up the Facebook to post something or send a message, I almost feel bad like I'm wasting time or being unprofessional with what I'm doing. I'm just not used to it. When I first got Facebook, it was just a way for me to talk to my friends; none of this "social media" stuff was even existing yet.

I'm learning. Strange that you'd hear a 24 year old talking about struggling to keep up with technology, but I am. Ultimately, I want God to be the main attraction, but I almost feel that if I want to create avenues for people to get to that state, I have to go down this particular outlet for reaching people.

You could make a case for me just overreacting, but this stuff is a science! I swear! There is a best time to post, a best way to post; how many words, how many fonts, how many colors, click bait titles, etc. It's a science!

Please send help, I'm going crazy. Haha.

My Victory

One of the biggest things I learned in school and in life is that everything is a process of getting to where we ought to be. As no one's perfect, we all have our flaws that we can choose to run away from, to embrace as part of who we are, or to correct it.

In this day and age, pretty much everywhere you go you'll hear people say that you should embrace who you are because it's what makes you unique, that you should love yourself and all the things that make up your personality and character. You get the whole tolerance message that tells you not to let anyone affect the way you feel about yourself just because of a certain make up of the way you are, and how we should be accepting of everyone as they are.

I mean, it all sounds pretty and seems like it's a good thing, but is it really? To be honest, it's probably the furthest thing from the truth, if you ask me. The whole spiel makes it seem too much like it's reached a conclusive state, completely negating the whole idea of a process. Telling someone that they shouldn't change who they are just because who they are is unique is so contradicting to what the Gospel teaches.

I'll expand.

I've had so many amazing people mentor me and speak into my life. One thing these mentors do for me is they keep me accountable by asking me about the sin in my life. Of course, I tell them what I struggle with and how I deal with them. Some of my sins would be behavioural, while others are very much part of what makes up my personality. The behavioural ones are easy to spot, but ones related to my character are harder to tackle. Every now and then, I'll get asked if I've experienced victory in conquering the sin. I never really enjoy answering this question because I never feel fully confident if I say yes. Maybe my faith is just weak, but what does it even mean to say that I've fully conquered a sin in my life? How can I say that I will never repeat that sin again if I can't see the future? As a bit of a clarification, though, I do believe that, by the grace of God, someone can be fully healed from a sin.

At this point in my life, my victory means a daily commitment to living a holy life according to the gospel of Jesus Christ. There are two things I'll mention. The first is that when we talk about overcoming sin, we focus on the act of overcoming the behaviour or sin so much that we forget why we're overcoming the sin in the first place. We want to be rid of sin in our lives because that's what God has commanded of us. However, that's only half of the reason. The other half is that we are to be like the person of Jesus. So the very reason we're ridding ourselves of sin is so that we can be like Christ. I think most of us have no idea just how profound it is to know that we are called to be like Christ. That is the second thing. The very reason we rid sin from our lives is so that we are conformed to the person of Jesus.

I mean, this is the very basis for our faith. We are on a journey of sanctification that requires us to trek daily on this journey to battle and wage war on the sin in our lives. We're living in a sinful world, and our destination is to be where Christ is. So if I've overcome sin, it's because I've made the commitment every day to follow the calling of Christ in my life. This means I'll be tempted day in and day out, and sometimes I will even fall, but my desire is obedience so that at the end of the day, Jesus can look at me and say, "well done, good and faithful servant." Wow.

This is what I think it means to be Christian.

So that's why I don't understand why so many people keep preaching the message that we don't need to change who we are because God loves us either way. Yeah, it's true God loves you as you are, but it doesn't mean he will accept all the sin that is in your life. I also make it my goal to love you and accept you as God does, but I'm not going to say that the way you are is fine, because it's not. I want for you to become like Christ as much as I want myself to be like him, so I'm always going to try to encourage people to strive to live in the light that Christ is. The amazing thing about our faith is that we don't have to change everything about us before coming to God; but rather, when we come before God as we are, his grace allows us to see what we are to become, and thus change ourselves into who he wants us to be. To be conformed to the image of Christ is the greatest thing that I could ever dream of achieving; and so because of that, I desire greatly to change everything that is not pleasing to God so that I can get closer to Jesus each and every day. That is my victory.

Autumn

Seven years into the life of this blog, patterns stay mostly the same. I don't blog a whole lot during the summer months. This is probably indicative of me spending most of my time in Edmonton and doing things with friends and family. Having been gone for five years, I kind of got used to the leave-for-the-school-year-and-return-in-the-summer routine. Though, it's probably fair to say with having begun my career in work, I will eventually be moving away from this pattern.

Autumn is usually refered to as the season between summer and winter, but the term itself has the meaning of maturation or a beginning in decline. Since I'm such a nerd (or as I'd like to call it: artsy), my last few months have had a real autumn vibe to them. I think I'm slowly accepting that there are a bunch of things, as well as people, that I have to let go of. Letting go doesn't mean I will never see or talk to them again, but that I shouldn't attach myself so closely to associating with them. Everyone's got their own lives to live, and the more I try to cling onto these things of old, the more I'm restricting myself from moving forward with my own life.

In preparation for the September kick off, I look back at my first year of ministry, and more specifically the last three months. After a good start, it comes to my attention that with where I am now, I'm a bit lost. With a lot of the things I'm doing now, in every aspect, I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do.

I think the first real thing is that I still don't feel completely settled into Vancouver. I do, however, think that I just need a bit more time. A year in such a big city can only do so much - this isn't a small town in the middle of nowhere Saskatchewan anymore (not making fun of Assiniboia, just contrasting). Being a prairie boy, Vancouver is a whole different culture, and I haven't been able to blend with the people as well as I've wanted to. This isn't really to say that I don't like the people here, it's just that I haven't found a group or community that I feel completely at home in. Probably not too surprising, as it took me almost three years in Calgary to do that.

Another thing, that I've only shared with a few people, is that I started to get excited for where my ministry was headed. For the first bit of 2015, I really sensed that our church was going somewhere. I didn't know where exactly, but I was stoked to be along for the ride. So based on past experiences, I knew very well that the second we start getting excited about church life, the enemy is going to come attacking. Basically, since the start of June-ish, I've been under constant distress about many things in my life, an attempt to more or less slow me down or stop me completely. I'll admit: I've felt the effects, and I don't like it.

You do what you can to take what you get and move on, which is what I'm trying to do; but I find that in times of decline, it isn't so much knowing what to do, it's the will to do it. Some days, it's much more appealing to stay in bed under covers than to get up and clean the house - same thing with what I'm seeing now.

This is how I've been over the last little while. There is still joy within me, and I think that's really the defining factor of why I still get up and work every morning. As much as it doesn't feel like it, I know there's still a reason for me to live my life and do what I'm told to do.

I will be extremely busy, probably, for the rest of the year and onwards. We've had an unfortunate outcome that has brought about inconvenience, so people will need to step up to fill the gap, starting with me.

Although it looks nice and is worth admiration, we all know that when the leaves have turned, they are bound to fall. The key is always to make it through the winter, no matter how cold, and look forward to the spring when new flowers blossom and bring new life.

Calibrate

It's been a good summer. All things considered, I don't think I can really complain a whole lot about how the last couple months have gone.

My mind has been set ablaze with so many things to think about, so I won't be short of things to do in the next several weeks. I just got back into the office today after spending my last two weeks in Edmonton. Overall, it was a good time away from work and life down here in such a busy city. I wish I was able to stay a bit longer to get to hang out and catch up with a few more people, but that's alright. It was nice that people took time out for me to begin with as I was the one invading their lives!

Edmonton is always fun. I will always have a reason to go back as long as my friends and family are there. Every time I go back, I see people grow and, especially, NEAC change. I don't think I've been this excited for where my home church is going in a very long time. I'd love to be a part of the journey, but that's just not where I'm supposed to be at this time. I still constantly think about if I could ever go back to be a pastor at some point in time. Even though there are more and more new faces, and people that don't recognize me, it'd be a major challenge if I ever did go back. I don't really have an answer, but I know what I want.

Moving on, I've set big sites on September, as I've wanted to have a bit of a kickoff for our church as we're set to rebrand a few of our ministry programs. I'll admit that I've been a bit over eager in implementing the things I wanted to do, but I think it's good that it presents me with an "ideal". Do I think we'll be able to have everything going the way I envision right off the bat? No. Do I think we can get there? Not sure, but that's why we're doing it. So this puts a lot on my plate with things to do and preparations to be made. In some ways, taking my time off when I did was a bit inconvenient for the planning, but I needed the break.

Looking back at my first year, I'm so humbled by the fact of who I am, with my experience in life, to have the kind of impact I do on a church. I've expressed to many people my thoughts about "running" my own congregation, and some of the core things I want to see changed about how we do church in general. And with who I am as a person, the only real way I can bring that full impact is by living it myself. I'm told to read and study 1 and 2 Timothy by pretty much everyone I talk to, and believe me, I relate very well to him. I will keep to myself some of my own views and struggles of seeing myself in the ministry capacity that I'm in, as I believe in the integrity that I should keep a level of professionalism while I'm here. But I do feel an increase in the level of frequency where I'm asking how long I have at this church before I need to go. The thing that breaks my heart is that this is happening after my first year. Longevity is so hard to come by in church now, and I also understand that the success and growth of a minister isn't purely determined by the length of time.

Looking ahead, I'm asking God every day what my purpose is to be here. At its simplest state, I know why I'm here. But if life were that simple, we'd have solved a lot of problems by now. The honeymoon is over, the excitement has died down; what happens next will be where the real work begins. Being young and inexperienced does eventually factor into how effective I am, so it's a matter of how I can handle it and how I can grow from it. I just don't want my mistakes to wear on me like I know they have in the past.

Before I babble any further, you can probably get a good sense of where I am as I enter my second year here at Newbern and Vancouver. My last two or three years have been so good, so if I end up having a crummy year, I don't think I'll be too surprised - just because I half expect it doesn't mean I'll like it. Like I've mentioned, year 2's have historically been the biggest challenge for me, so let's see where this goes.