Calibrate

It's been a good summer. All things considered, I don't think I can really complain a whole lot about how the last couple months have gone.

My mind has been set ablaze with so many things to think about, so I won't be short of things to do in the next several weeks. I just got back into the office today after spending my last two weeks in Edmonton. Overall, it was a good time away from work and life down here in such a busy city. I wish I was able to stay a bit longer to get to hang out and catch up with a few more people, but that's alright. It was nice that people took time out for me to begin with as I was the one invading their lives!

Edmonton is always fun. I will always have a reason to go back as long as my friends and family are there. Every time I go back, I see people grow and, especially, NEAC change. I don't think I've been this excited for where my home church is going in a very long time. I'd love to be a part of the journey, but that's just not where I'm supposed to be at this time. I still constantly think about if I could ever go back to be a pastor at some point in time. Even though there are more and more new faces, and people that don't recognize me, it'd be a major challenge if I ever did go back. I don't really have an answer, but I know what I want.

Moving on, I've set big sites on September, as I've wanted to have a bit of a kickoff for our church as we're set to rebrand a few of our ministry programs. I'll admit that I've been a bit over eager in implementing the things I wanted to do, but I think it's good that it presents me with an "ideal". Do I think we'll be able to have everything going the way I envision right off the bat? No. Do I think we can get there? Not sure, but that's why we're doing it. So this puts a lot on my plate with things to do and preparations to be made. In some ways, taking my time off when I did was a bit inconvenient for the planning, but I needed the break.

Looking back at my first year, I'm so humbled by the fact of who I am, with my experience in life, to have the kind of impact I do on a church. I've expressed to many people my thoughts about "running" my own congregation, and some of the core things I want to see changed about how we do church in general. And with who I am as a person, the only real way I can bring that full impact is by living it myself. I'm told to read and study 1 and 2 Timothy by pretty much everyone I talk to, and believe me, I relate very well to him. I will keep to myself some of my own views and struggles of seeing myself in the ministry capacity that I'm in, as I believe in the integrity that I should keep a level of professionalism while I'm here. But I do feel an increase in the level of frequency where I'm asking how long I have at this church before I need to go. The thing that breaks my heart is that this is happening after my first year. Longevity is so hard to come by in church now, and I also understand that the success and growth of a minister isn't purely determined by the length of time.

Looking ahead, I'm asking God every day what my purpose is to be here. At its simplest state, I know why I'm here. But if life were that simple, we'd have solved a lot of problems by now. The honeymoon is over, the excitement has died down; what happens next will be where the real work begins. Being young and inexperienced does eventually factor into how effective I am, so it's a matter of how I can handle it and how I can grow from it. I just don't want my mistakes to wear on me like I know they have in the past.

Before I babble any further, you can probably get a good sense of where I am as I enter my second year here at Newbern and Vancouver. My last two or three years have been so good, so if I end up having a crummy year, I don't think I'll be too surprised - just because I half expect it doesn't mean I'll like it. Like I've mentioned, year 2's have historically been the biggest challenge for me, so let's see where this goes.