So It Goes

I haven't done one of these in a while, so I think that this is a pretty appropriate time to ramble. Most of this post will be about nonsense, so if you care to take the time, you can join me in my adventure of being A.D.D.

Over Reading Week, most people went somewhere, be it home or whatever, to take a break. I, however, had a class to take! If I remember right, I think the reason Reading Week was implemented was because this week was one where suicide rates amongst university students were one of the highest. When you think about it then, it's strange that schools still offer mod courses during this time. Haha. Regardless, I enjoyed the class a lot. I don't like that there's a full course's work load introduced randomly in February, but I have to suck it up and do the work over the next month. Having Bill as a prof is always refreshing for me, I really enjoy what he brings and that there is never a boring class session with him. On the other hand, it was an exhausting class; who would've thought that these one week things can be so draining?! Well, they are, and I found myself to be quite tired after each day.

I'm quite confident that it still hasn't sunk in that this is my last year of schooling for the foreseeable future. A bunch of my friends are already talking about what they'll be doing this summer, where they're working and all that. When I think about myself, I realize that I won't be looking for a summer job anymore. When I walk out of here on the last weekend of April, that'll be it. I'm done! In some ways, I want to give myself some time off - to have a few months to bum around before really starting to look for a church; but I also understand that if a church is hiring now, they'll probably want to have the position filled by the summer so the new pastor can go in around August and get accustomed to things before the year really kicks in by September. So while I'm still in school, I'm going to really have to start thinking about this job searching process relatively soon if I want to get ahead of the game.

I have entered into yet another phase of wanting to buy a bunch of clothes. There is probably at least one time every year where I grow an obsession about the fashion stuff. I almost never succumb to these trends, mostly because I just don't have the money to be buying so many clothes, and that my body type doesn't fit a lot of these styles, but they sure are fun to follow and read up on. This time around, I probably have some legitimate reason to actually diversify my closet a little bit because I'm going to need these clothes when I work in a church. Sure, I can probably get away with with I have now most of the time, but it's nice to change it up once in a while. I'm a bit lacking on the formal wear, so I'll probably be looking mostly into that. Just great, eh? The clothes I need most also cost the most. Maybe I'll take a "personal day" in the next while and go on a major shopping spree. Just maybe.

Now that we're two months into 2014, I am somewhat conflicted about the outlook of the rest of the year. I am really excited about this year because I think there is huge potential for this year to be an amazing year. However, I also feel that there's going to be some real struggles for myself personally. I've mentioned before that after having such a high point in life, you're bound to come down, and those generally don't feel that great. What this means is that I think this year is going to be met with a lot of confusion for me. I don't know what everyone else is feeling about this year, but that's the sense that is starting to be clear. Being confused probably doesn't mean the year will be bad, I just might not know what's really happening, raising tension and stress. There's going to be challenges that I frankly might not know how to approach. Maybe what it means is that I will really need to be in tune with the Holy Spirit, listening to his leading and just have complete faith in what God is doing. I'm excited.

I'm going to reiterate what I said in the beginning of January: this year is going to be what we make of it, so don't just sit back and wait for things to happen. Take an active approach and be assertive about what we do and the passions we have. Be you, and know that God made you the way you are because he has a specific role for you in this world that only you can do!

Milestones

Everyone's got milestones in their lives; and today, I managed to hit one of mine.

Throughout the last couple of days, right up to when I basically walked into the interview room, it hadn't struck me that this is accreditation interview was a big deal. I don't know if it's my calmness or just stubborn obliviousness that kept me that way. Although, I didn't really sleep last night because I knew that today was the day.

It was a pretty good interview all in all. There weren't a whole lot of tough questions, but when the interviewers wanted to push me a little bit, they pushed me hard. I showed some hesitancy, but it wasn't so much that I was nervous, it was more because I wanted to further explain but not stretch myself too thin that I would border saying some wrong things - to which I got close once. Basically, it came down to my ability to articulate things again. I need to do better at that.

Anyways, I left the room for a few minutes, was called back in and then proceeded to hear the good news. I've passed! The moment was incredibly joyous for me because this knowledge liberated me so much in that I was able to really begin picturing myself searching for the right opportunity to go work. It's really awesome to hear that people think highly of you, and how they see that there is quite possibly more to you that even you think you might know - all very encouraging words.

So I'm thankful to everyone that's contributed to my journey: all my family, friends, strangers, etc. Again, I make the mention of how I am a result of the people around me.

Now, all that's left is to graduate!

Entrance Exam

When I walk out of that room, I hope that someone will say to me, "welcome to the first day of the rest of your life." It would make my semester.

I just realized I haven't really broadcasted to people curious about me any information on my accreditation process. So here you go:

I will be interviewed by Ron Goerzen, Ken DeMaere, and Miriam Charter on February 11, 2014 (haha, I wrote 2013 at first by accident), at 2pm. This is my accreditation interview that will more or less be the gateway for me to work in the Alliance in Canada.

Following the accreditation interview, I've also set a couple other interviews up with the different districts to see what kind of job opportunities are available for after I graduate.

To be quite honest, I'm terrified. This is like, for those that don't know, the front gate of being allowed into the city. If I am allowed to pass, then I am free to explore the possibilities of real job opportunities. A lot of the nights this week, I've been unable to sleep because I'm trying to think through all the things that I need to know in order to answer the questions they'll likely ask me. Having met Ron and Ken before, they are nice guys - strong and bold, but nice. Between the three of these interviewers, they have years and worlds of experience, so I'm likely going to be intimidated by them and have some sense of fear (out of respect).

If I were to tell you now, the reason they pass me won't be because of my widespread knowledge on the bible or theological terms and all that scholarly stuff, it'll be because of my vision and passion to follow the Lord. I've been lucky enough to have been raised by some amazing people, who just so happen to be colleagues of these interviewers, so it's in my hopes that some of these amazing people have rubbed off on me so that I can resemble at least somewhat of a ministry worker.

And if that isn't enough for me to mull over, I also have three or four papers due before Reading Week. Of course, speaking of which, I don't get a Reading Week because of my mod course. I think I'm okay with that. I'll still be able to have a bit of peace and quiet as the dorms will likely be rather empty throughout the week.

Honestly, though, I can't even keep my mind on any of my school work because I'm overly excited about this interview, that it basically consumes all my thoughts, in a good and bad way.

Anyhow, probably after my interview, and I get the green light for being lisenced to work in the Alliance, it'll ease my mind a lot so that I could focus on the rest of my school work.

Hope everyone is having a good start to February. Enjoy the Olympics!

Eager Beaver

On one hand, it's quite awesome that January is coming to an end; on the other, January is almost over?!

The first couple of weeks, as I've mentioned, were pretty difficult to get back into a school type of routine. All in all, it probably wasn't as difficult as when I first started here at Ambrose in the Fall of 2010, especially after having taken an entire year off.

I think that I'm back in the hang of things now that the semester is pretty much in full swing. I have a book review due tomorrow already! There's just far too many books and articles that I have to read this term. When you think about it though, it makes sense, considering the fact that this is likely my last semester of fulltime schooling.

... Which, by the way, still has me up on ends about getting my career going. I spent a good amount of time thinking about many scenarios that I could end up in - actual scenario would be one where I was recommended by our school field education coordinator to Emmanual Alliance Church of Ottawa. The position is a youth/young adults pastor. Though, from reading most of the description, it's primarily a youth pastor.

I probably have made this quite clear over the years that I don't want to be a youth pastor. But, this time around, I'm doing my best to be open to the possibility; I'm even taking an intro to youth ministry's course, for crying out loud.

Perhaps it's just me somewhat coming to terms that I'm going to have to seriously look at being a youth pastor that's made me warm up to the idea slightly. I really enjoy this process, though, because I still get to continue pursuing what my calling really is.

In the end, I can say, with at least an alright amount of confidence, that I've been blessed to have a choice. This means that if I want to be a youth pastor, that God will honor it and help me in that role. However, I still need to caution myself to not jump straight at a position that's offered to me because it could very well turn in a hurry. I know that with my personality and preferences, I'd rather not work with youth. So if this comes up during my time as a potential youth pastor, I could be exposed really fast. What that means is that my role as a pastor could very quickly become a "job" or "duty" rather than a passion that's from my heart.

So if you're wondering if I will apply for that position in Ottawa, what I've said so far is basically what my thoughts are. I could apply for it, and I need to remain sensitive to their deadlines, but I'm going to stay true to the passions that I've developed thus far into my life. And who knows, I might very well develop a passion for youth after trying to rethink myself from taking this class and getting a new perspective on youth ministry.

Unfortunately, this leaves my education in the backburner yet again. I'm trying so hard to focus on my studies, but being so close just leaves me over eager and wanting to get going. I get so excited at the prospect of me being able to have my own place to live and working in a church. I see so many growing pains and so many challenges ahead, but I think that's exactly why I am so stoked to move forward.

Well, this serves, again, as a reminder to myself that I shouldn't get ahead of myself.