Eager Beaver

On one hand, it's quite awesome that January is coming to an end; on the other, January is almost over?!

The first couple of weeks, as I've mentioned, were pretty difficult to get back into a school type of routine. All in all, it probably wasn't as difficult as when I first started here at Ambrose in the Fall of 2010, especially after having taken an entire year off.

I think that I'm back in the hang of things now that the semester is pretty much in full swing. I have a book review due tomorrow already! There's just far too many books and articles that I have to read this term. When you think about it though, it makes sense, considering the fact that this is likely my last semester of fulltime schooling.

... Which, by the way, still has me up on ends about getting my career going. I spent a good amount of time thinking about many scenarios that I could end up in - actual scenario would be one where I was recommended by our school field education coordinator to Emmanual Alliance Church of Ottawa. The position is a youth/young adults pastor. Though, from reading most of the description, it's primarily a youth pastor.

I probably have made this quite clear over the years that I don't want to be a youth pastor. But, this time around, I'm doing my best to be open to the possibility; I'm even taking an intro to youth ministry's course, for crying out loud.

Perhaps it's just me somewhat coming to terms that I'm going to have to seriously look at being a youth pastor that's made me warm up to the idea slightly. I really enjoy this process, though, because I still get to continue pursuing what my calling really is.

In the end, I can say, with at least an alright amount of confidence, that I've been blessed to have a choice. This means that if I want to be a youth pastor, that God will honor it and help me in that role. However, I still need to caution myself to not jump straight at a position that's offered to me because it could very well turn in a hurry. I know that with my personality and preferences, I'd rather not work with youth. So if this comes up during my time as a potential youth pastor, I could be exposed really fast. What that means is that my role as a pastor could very quickly become a "job" or "duty" rather than a passion that's from my heart.

So if you're wondering if I will apply for that position in Ottawa, what I've said so far is basically what my thoughts are. I could apply for it, and I need to remain sensitive to their deadlines, but I'm going to stay true to the passions that I've developed thus far into my life. And who knows, I might very well develop a passion for youth after trying to rethink myself from taking this class and getting a new perspective on youth ministry.

Unfortunately, this leaves my education in the backburner yet again. I'm trying so hard to focus on my studies, but being so close just leaves me over eager and wanting to get going. I get so excited at the prospect of me being able to have my own place to live and working in a church. I see so many growing pains and so many challenges ahead, but I think that's exactly why I am so stoked to move forward.

Well, this serves, again, as a reminder to myself that I shouldn't get ahead of myself.