Being the primary preacher for a church/congregation has been something I never thought I'd end up doing. Even throughout my days of studying at Ambrose, I never really saw myself as a much of a preacher. With the program, you're only obligated to preach twice over a four year span. The popular opinion, of course, is that twice is nowhere near the amount that it should be. There are ample opportunities for ministry students (and even non-ministry students) to preach at school or at other churches; but if you don't take on those chances, twice could be all you see. At times, being the bible school student carries with you the stereotype that you can preach: not true. I've heard many people try to preach, ... ah, nevermind. Anyways, not including my internship, I think I preached in some way or another a handful of times during my four years. Then, at my internship, I preached about once a month. So I am as new as it gets when it comes to being a preacher!
As you'd have expected, then coming into my job where I'm now asked to preach two or three times a month is a very big adjustment. I'm still not used to it, to be honest. Before this current state, I would probably have a month or two to prepare a sermon - it would be all I would need to do if I wasn't doing anything else. So I could go at it from any direction, read as many books as I need, and even re-write the thing a few times if I needed to. Nowadays, I have less than a week of actual time to prepare for each Sunday. I've been given tips from people that you should be preparing weeks in advance, especially if you're running a series. This is helpful, but I need to focus on the current week if I want to do well. So the only "in advanced" thing I really have is the general outlook for the coming weeks.
So I thought it'd be fun to give a rundown on what my week looks like when I have to preach, from the point of view of preaching preparation, of course.
Monday is a day off, so I do my best to stay away from church related work. Therefore, my work really begins on Tuesday! If I am preaching that week, my Tuesday will have a little more to do than the average Tuesday. I still use this first day to send out a lot of my emails and to get the admin stuff out of the way. That way, I can give people the entire week to respond while I go do other things.
What I am taught and encouraged to do whenever I preach is to pray endlessly. I really have to work on this part of the preparation. Everytime I come to doing work on my message, it needs to be bathed in prayer.
So, from Tuesday until, I'd say, mid-Thursday, all I'd really do is read, study, and meditate. If I already have the topic or passage I'm preaching on, I'll read that a million times in as many different versions as I can. I'll write down anything that sticks out, and jot down other passages that I may be reminded of so they can be used as supporting passages if need be.
Then, on the second half of Thursday and for much of Friday (occassionally even the Saturday), I'll take all of those notes that I've written down and try to organize them. The cool thing about these notes is that a lot of times they will categorize themselves into the points of the message that I need to preach. From that group, I try to find the main thing that is being driven across and I'll use that to form my points and illustrations.
On Saturday, this is where I will zoom out of all the notes and trim everything down so that I have less than two pages to use for my overall outline. Then I'll bring in the introduction and conclusion to the message. I will bold and highlight certain words or phrases that I need to emphasize, and put it all into a Word document to be printed out.
When my outline is finally complete, I will probably walk away from the thing as a whole until the time I go to bed. This is usually when I go to youth fellowship, so I get my mind off of my message completely for a couple hours. What this does, is that when I get back home and ready to go sleep, I'll be able to look at my message with some fresh eyes to see if everything flows and makes sense.
At last, I'll sit on my bed for half an hour or 45 minutes before I sleep just to envision myself preaching it on the Sunday morning. I'll mentally run through the message, from all the little details and all the transitions that I'll do. The big thing here is that I get a good visualization for how the message will go on the Sunday. This process makes me laugh at myself because I picture myself to be really exhuberant and energetic. But when the preaching happens, I'm my dorky self. I also know that many people like to stand in front of a mirror and rehearse, but that isn't my thing. I feel way too uncomfortable at doing that. I'm just not very good at staging something if it's not the actual thing.
What I didn't really mention about my preparation is that I feel a lot more stress throughout the week whenever I have to preach. There is a constant battle that I face each day that tries to pull me away from studying. There are weeks that I fight off well, and others where I succumb to the temptations and fail miserably. I think I've only been able to have a good night's sleep once, on the night before I preach.
Sorry for such a long post, but there's one or two more things I want to mention - I hope you don't mind! As a new preacher, I'm always wondering how I should preach so that people can respond to the Word in a positive way. What sort of illustrations will help make this relatable? Do I need to move around more? Do I need to be funny?
Darrell Johnson, a pastor in Vancouver, said, "the person most changed by preaching is the preacher." I would say that this is 100% true for myself. Becoming a preacher due to the nature of my job has really begun to change who I am. There are weeks where the message I preach speaks so strongly to me. These are usually the weeks where I am also preaching with more passion and more conviction. From that, the people see it and they respond better as well because they can see that I am affected by the message. After all, if I am not ministered to by the message first, how can I expect it to minister to others? This is a challenge that I very willingly take on. I love my job. LOL.
Wow, 15 degrees!
Tuesday, April 7, 2015
Thursday, April 2, 2015
Where Am I?
Over the past couple of weeks, I've been on a bit of a nostalgia trip, missing many of the things I grew up seeing or doing. It's really strange that every year around this time, I experience this feeling of wanting to go back to all the good memories I've had in my childhood. I can't really explain why, but something just triggers it; it's been a pattern every year in the Spring where I go crazy for a few weeks in this regard.
There is definitely a desire to go back home to visit Edmonton. Home, to me, is where most of your memories lie. Every once in a while, along with the nostalgic stuff I go through, I always ask myself, "how did I end up here" or "where am I?"
I think back to my elementary days, my junior high days, and my high school days. Between some incredible memories and accomplishments, and some of the most embarrassing moments, I lived an average life. I think back to the people I used to see everyday, and I do wonder where they are now. Pop open the Facebook, you only see so much - my wonder is, where are they really? I doubt it's mutual, but I would consider many of them to still be my friends. There have been people who have significantly shaped me, and I'd hope I did the same. I know that there have been friends that I've mistreated and probably never got to apologize, but most of that isn't really relevant anymore either. The funny thing, I find, is that the way I'd see these people now is probably the same way I would've seen them back then. So if there's any real changes to their character, it would probably surprise me if I encountered them somewhere. On the other hand, there are just some things that never change about people; and that's cool, because it makes them unique in that sense.
And then you get to the part where you tell these people that I'm now living in Vancouver, serving as a church pastor... I think I'd get some mixed reactions. Most of the people I hung out with knew I lived in a pretty devoted Christian family. The only thing is that you wouldn't really have expected me to become a pastor. Then again, I never expected me to be a pastor either. So, case closed, I guess. Then I wonder what my life would've been like if in the case that I knew I was going to become a pastor at a young age. That's pretty insane.
We get to this point in life, where most of my age group is finishing up school and starting their working careers. All of it is pretty surreal, to be honest. My ten year reunion for elementary would've been three years ago, which baffles my mind a little. I'm not that old on the bigger scale, but the next thing that would blow my mind is when I start to see these same people that I grew up with begin to start families. Man, oh man. There's been lots of engagement/marriage type stuff in the last few years, so give a few more years and babies could be on the way! Who would've thought that so-and-so, the same kid you would've climbed monkey bars with, would be a dad/mom.
Personally, I'm not all that concerned about myself. My posts in the last couple months probably say differently, but the hype has died down a little. January to mid-March was an insane flurry of drive and determination that made me scared of myself. It's safe to say I've evened out a little bit here in the last couple of weeks. The thoughts and desires of my heart are still there and still resonate, but I see the value in just being myself and carving my own way at the moment. I'd be the most excited person on earth if I got to start a family, but it doesn't mean I'm going to be first in line to get it done. Crazy. I just love contradicting myself, you know.
What it all boils down to, is that at this moment in time, I'm enjoying life. I'm glad to be here, and I'm feeling content. It could all change tomorrow, and I'll be back on my tirade, but as of tonight, I'm going to be okay with everything. I don't care so much about how I got here, but that I am here. And here is all that matters.
I'm way out of my mind and getting way ahead of myself here.
Goodnight.
There is definitely a desire to go back home to visit Edmonton. Home, to me, is where most of your memories lie. Every once in a while, along with the nostalgic stuff I go through, I always ask myself, "how did I end up here" or "where am I?"
I think back to my elementary days, my junior high days, and my high school days. Between some incredible memories and accomplishments, and some of the most embarrassing moments, I lived an average life. I think back to the people I used to see everyday, and I do wonder where they are now. Pop open the Facebook, you only see so much - my wonder is, where are they really? I doubt it's mutual, but I would consider many of them to still be my friends. There have been people who have significantly shaped me, and I'd hope I did the same. I know that there have been friends that I've mistreated and probably never got to apologize, but most of that isn't really relevant anymore either. The funny thing, I find, is that the way I'd see these people now is probably the same way I would've seen them back then. So if there's any real changes to their character, it would probably surprise me if I encountered them somewhere. On the other hand, there are just some things that never change about people; and that's cool, because it makes them unique in that sense.
And then you get to the part where you tell these people that I'm now living in Vancouver, serving as a church pastor... I think I'd get some mixed reactions. Most of the people I hung out with knew I lived in a pretty devoted Christian family. The only thing is that you wouldn't really have expected me to become a pastor. Then again, I never expected me to be a pastor either. So, case closed, I guess. Then I wonder what my life would've been like if in the case that I knew I was going to become a pastor at a young age. That's pretty insane.
We get to this point in life, where most of my age group is finishing up school and starting their working careers. All of it is pretty surreal, to be honest. My ten year reunion for elementary would've been three years ago, which baffles my mind a little. I'm not that old on the bigger scale, but the next thing that would blow my mind is when I start to see these same people that I grew up with begin to start families. Man, oh man. There's been lots of engagement/marriage type stuff in the last few years, so give a few more years and babies could be on the way! Who would've thought that so-and-so, the same kid you would've climbed monkey bars with, would be a dad/mom.
Personally, I'm not all that concerned about myself. My posts in the last couple months probably say differently, but the hype has died down a little. January to mid-March was an insane flurry of drive and determination that made me scared of myself. It's safe to say I've evened out a little bit here in the last couple of weeks. The thoughts and desires of my heart are still there and still resonate, but I see the value in just being myself and carving my own way at the moment. I'd be the most excited person on earth if I got to start a family, but it doesn't mean I'm going to be first in line to get it done. Crazy. I just love contradicting myself, you know.
What it all boils down to, is that at this moment in time, I'm enjoying life. I'm glad to be here, and I'm feeling content. It could all change tomorrow, and I'll be back on my tirade, but as of tonight, I'm going to be okay with everything. I don't care so much about how I got here, but that I am here. And here is all that matters.
I'm way out of my mind and getting way ahead of myself here.
Goodnight.
Tuesday, March 24, 2015
WIDOLIF
Let's just say I made a questionable decision and played one more game than I should have. So I'm now sitting on my bed waiting for hair to dry once again. I felt pretty tired throughout the day, so I don't think it'll be hard for me to fall asleep tonight. Waking up, though, may be difficult especially since it's supposed to be raining again.
There are a lot of times where something comes across my mind, or something happens, that I wish I would've written down so I don't forget. Moments that I think to myself, "oh cool!" There were several of those over the last few days, but of course I was caught in the moment and didn't actually write it down. When I was in school, one of my profs emphasized that we carry around a WIDOLIF (Write It Down Or Lose It Forever) with us for these exact times. I had one with me throughout the latter stages of schooling and on my internship, but I became less interactive with the new notebook that I designated as my WIDOLIF since coming down to Vancouver. Hopefully this is a push to get me to start doing it consistently again.
Usually, the things that I write down are little notes and scribbles of words, phrases, ideas, thoughts, and simplistic measures that I can attribute to a certain thing that I'm doing or involved with. From these notes, there have been sermons, devos, and other sorts of cool things that I can use personally and professionally. If a certain bible verse pops out at me, I'll write it down. If an idea sprouts from a reading, I'll jot it down. If someone encourages me with words or actions, I'll write it down. The purpose of me carrying a WIDOLIF around is to take note of the little things that can amount to bigger things. By doing this, it's trained me in becoming much more attentive to details.
I'm writing about my little notebook, not because I've run out of things to write about, but to remind myself that these VERY THINGS that I wanted to take note of, so I could blog about it, are now lost forever in my mind because I've forgotten what they were! Lost in the hustle and bustle of my day off, I seem to have wiped my mind of the things I found cool and wanted to talk about in my blog. Awesome job, Ps Nathan!
In other news, the part of my brain that still functions, I had a decently productive week! I got to lead worship on Sunday and it was a blast this time. I had the same group of youth with me as I did the previous time I lead, but this time we were able to expand ourselves a little more, now that they've gotten their first time jitters out of the way. I caught one of the youth's dad standing in the baby room and looking through the window into the sanctuary as we sang our songs. I could just see the beaming smile he had on his face while he was singing along, so happy that he gets to witness his child take a step toward being involved in the church. That little spark of joy really warmed my heart. Although, I'm not too sure why he stood and worshipped in the baby room and not in the sanctuary. Maybe he didn't want to make it too obvious that he was watching.
For myself personally, I continue to seek out what it is I need to bring so that my congregation, especially the youth, can be able to realize the impact of the gospel in their lives. The essence of the gospel is so simple, and yet, for whatever reason, it's so difficult to help people realize what it means to them as individuals. Unfortunately, I do think that living in a society where we have too much plays a big factor. It's not a far cry to say that if there is something we want, it is literally obtainable within some sort of means that doesn't require you to die for it. So if we have all that we can dream of, then there's no space for God. Too bad. It sucks that the media and other organizations try to sell us this idea that we can achieve anything we dream of.
The last thing I'll talk about, I guess, is that I have been missing Edmonton over the last few days. Not sure what it was that washed into my mind, but I encountered a few things that reminded me of home, and I definitely felt the nostalgia. I love Vancouver, but I just don't think there will be a city that can replace Edmonton for me.
And finally, I just really want the weather to be warm and sunny so I can play soccer and go to the beach.
P.S. If I suddenly remember those things I wanted to talk about, I will talk about them in another post.
There are a lot of times where something comes across my mind, or something happens, that I wish I would've written down so I don't forget. Moments that I think to myself, "oh cool!" There were several of those over the last few days, but of course I was caught in the moment and didn't actually write it down. When I was in school, one of my profs emphasized that we carry around a WIDOLIF (Write It Down Or Lose It Forever) with us for these exact times. I had one with me throughout the latter stages of schooling and on my internship, but I became less interactive with the new notebook that I designated as my WIDOLIF since coming down to Vancouver. Hopefully this is a push to get me to start doing it consistently again.
Usually, the things that I write down are little notes and scribbles of words, phrases, ideas, thoughts, and simplistic measures that I can attribute to a certain thing that I'm doing or involved with. From these notes, there have been sermons, devos, and other sorts of cool things that I can use personally and professionally. If a certain bible verse pops out at me, I'll write it down. If an idea sprouts from a reading, I'll jot it down. If someone encourages me with words or actions, I'll write it down. The purpose of me carrying a WIDOLIF around is to take note of the little things that can amount to bigger things. By doing this, it's trained me in becoming much more attentive to details.
I'm writing about my little notebook, not because I've run out of things to write about, but to remind myself that these VERY THINGS that I wanted to take note of, so I could blog about it, are now lost forever in my mind because I've forgotten what they were! Lost in the hustle and bustle of my day off, I seem to have wiped my mind of the things I found cool and wanted to talk about in my blog. Awesome job, Ps Nathan!
In other news, the part of my brain that still functions, I had a decently productive week! I got to lead worship on Sunday and it was a blast this time. I had the same group of youth with me as I did the previous time I lead, but this time we were able to expand ourselves a little more, now that they've gotten their first time jitters out of the way. I caught one of the youth's dad standing in the baby room and looking through the window into the sanctuary as we sang our songs. I could just see the beaming smile he had on his face while he was singing along, so happy that he gets to witness his child take a step toward being involved in the church. That little spark of joy really warmed my heart. Although, I'm not too sure why he stood and worshipped in the baby room and not in the sanctuary. Maybe he didn't want to make it too obvious that he was watching.
For myself personally, I continue to seek out what it is I need to bring so that my congregation, especially the youth, can be able to realize the impact of the gospel in their lives. The essence of the gospel is so simple, and yet, for whatever reason, it's so difficult to help people realize what it means to them as individuals. Unfortunately, I do think that living in a society where we have too much plays a big factor. It's not a far cry to say that if there is something we want, it is literally obtainable within some sort of means that doesn't require you to die for it. So if we have all that we can dream of, then there's no space for God. Too bad. It sucks that the media and other organizations try to sell us this idea that we can achieve anything we dream of.
The last thing I'll talk about, I guess, is that I have been missing Edmonton over the last few days. Not sure what it was that washed into my mind, but I encountered a few things that reminded me of home, and I definitely felt the nostalgia. I love Vancouver, but I just don't think there will be a city that can replace Edmonton for me.
And finally, I just really want the weather to be warm and sunny so I can play soccer and go to the beach.
P.S. If I suddenly remember those things I wanted to talk about, I will talk about them in another post.
Tuesday, March 17, 2015
Carry On
Welcome back, once again.
As I'm winding down from my day off, ready to call it a night, I'll just write a little bit. I'm not sure what I have to say, but I thought today would be a good day to blog a bit. On a side note, though, I think it's healthy for everyone to write! Reading and writing have become such underappreciated skills in the midst of all this new age methodology that aid character development. Unfortunately with the "McDonaldization" of society, no one has time to sit down and read or write for long periods of time anymore. I have a good feeling that 80% of people who come across my blog would avoid reading my posts just based on their lengths. Goodbye attention spans of the next generation.
Anyways, I've had a couple of easier weeks here as I haven't had to preach since the first Sunday of March. So I've stepped back a bit from my work, and I'm not sure if that was a great idea. Haha. I'm feeling so lazy now that my overall production has dropped. The main reason for this is probably because I didn't plan out what I'd need to do during these couple of weeks. I knew what I needed to do, but getting to them just didn't work out. So a lot of my church work has been put off to the side, and I hope to pick it up this week. I have a lot of planning and preparation to do, so let's hope I kick myself in the butt to get things done.
Some of the things I need to do include making committees for a couple big events later in the year (summer camp and youth missions trip), finding a guest speaker for our summer camp, finding a vision for our children's ministries, and re-evaluating my preaching series. So far, I've done about 10% of all that. This week, my focus will likely be getting the committees and meetings set, then looking at my sermons.
The overall life in ministry has hit a plateau for myself. After the new year, things are now more or less stabalized and I'm seeing if everything works. I have a constant longing to try to help my teens experience the love of Christ in their lives. A few of them have said that their faith is slipping, and it pains me to hear that. At such critical points in their lives, I feel a huge burden of responsibility to create every avenue possible for them to see if it will steer them in the right direction. In the case that my youth walk away from God and the Church, I would probably feel a sense of failure on my part. I think the thought of this failure is currently my biggest fear. You get the thoughts of doubting that what you've done and implemented was not good enough to help them grow. As a pastor, this might be the biggest slap in the face. I'm sure I'll experience this at least a few times in my career to some degree, so it'll be interesting to see how I handle it.
A second concern that I will need to address sooner or later is the feeding of my own spiritual self. I think that this is something that I have been aware of since I took the position here at Newbern, so it is up to me to do everything I can to be fed. I've been searching, for sure, and exploring different possibilities. The only thing is I don't know how much of my investment into my work I can give up just so I can grow myself. If I'm not fed, I can't lead. I think this might be something I need to iron out and communicate with my senior. Let's just hope the language barrier doesn't hinder understanding.
In other news, I went out today and bought myself a couple of clothing items. Rarely do I ever feel good about buying extra things when I don't really have the finances to do so, but for whatever reason I felt so much joy when I walked out of the store today. Normally, I feel like doo doo when I spend money. Maybe because I bought the blazer that I've been looking such a long time for. It fits awesome too! Let me tell you, finding clothes to fit me is impossible here in North America. I'm just too skinny. How many grown men do you know that wear a size 34R or a 36S in a jacket? But the point here is that I felt awesome buying the blazer along with a couple other sale items. Retail therapy - my favorite kind of stress relief.
Speaking of therapy, last week I bought a video game called Cities: Skylines, where it's a simulation game basically like Sim City, but infinitely better. In a week, I've spent a lot of my time blocks that weren't alotted to working in playing this game. Creating and building my own "empire" in the form of a city is one of the most theraputic things I've ever done. It feels awesome and full of relief that I can make a city that I call mine - much like an artist's painting or a musician's song. It feels great! I am definitely going to use this game to relieve stress in the times that I need it.
So, that's that. The weather is crummy again this week, but hopefully it passes quickly because I'm really looking forward to sunshine and (even) warmer weather.
As I'm winding down from my day off, ready to call it a night, I'll just write a little bit. I'm not sure what I have to say, but I thought today would be a good day to blog a bit. On a side note, though, I think it's healthy for everyone to write! Reading and writing have become such underappreciated skills in the midst of all this new age methodology that aid character development. Unfortunately with the "McDonaldization" of society, no one has time to sit down and read or write for long periods of time anymore. I have a good feeling that 80% of people who come across my blog would avoid reading my posts just based on their lengths. Goodbye attention spans of the next generation.
Anyways, I've had a couple of easier weeks here as I haven't had to preach since the first Sunday of March. So I've stepped back a bit from my work, and I'm not sure if that was a great idea. Haha. I'm feeling so lazy now that my overall production has dropped. The main reason for this is probably because I didn't plan out what I'd need to do during these couple of weeks. I knew what I needed to do, but getting to them just didn't work out. So a lot of my church work has been put off to the side, and I hope to pick it up this week. I have a lot of planning and preparation to do, so let's hope I kick myself in the butt to get things done.
Some of the things I need to do include making committees for a couple big events later in the year (summer camp and youth missions trip), finding a guest speaker for our summer camp, finding a vision for our children's ministries, and re-evaluating my preaching series. So far, I've done about 10% of all that. This week, my focus will likely be getting the committees and meetings set, then looking at my sermons.
The overall life in ministry has hit a plateau for myself. After the new year, things are now more or less stabalized and I'm seeing if everything works. I have a constant longing to try to help my teens experience the love of Christ in their lives. A few of them have said that their faith is slipping, and it pains me to hear that. At such critical points in their lives, I feel a huge burden of responsibility to create every avenue possible for them to see if it will steer them in the right direction. In the case that my youth walk away from God and the Church, I would probably feel a sense of failure on my part. I think the thought of this failure is currently my biggest fear. You get the thoughts of doubting that what you've done and implemented was not good enough to help them grow. As a pastor, this might be the biggest slap in the face. I'm sure I'll experience this at least a few times in my career to some degree, so it'll be interesting to see how I handle it.
A second concern that I will need to address sooner or later is the feeding of my own spiritual self. I think that this is something that I have been aware of since I took the position here at Newbern, so it is up to me to do everything I can to be fed. I've been searching, for sure, and exploring different possibilities. The only thing is I don't know how much of my investment into my work I can give up just so I can grow myself. If I'm not fed, I can't lead. I think this might be something I need to iron out and communicate with my senior. Let's just hope the language barrier doesn't hinder understanding.
In other news, I went out today and bought myself a couple of clothing items. Rarely do I ever feel good about buying extra things when I don't really have the finances to do so, but for whatever reason I felt so much joy when I walked out of the store today. Normally, I feel like doo doo when I spend money. Maybe because I bought the blazer that I've been looking such a long time for. It fits awesome too! Let me tell you, finding clothes to fit me is impossible here in North America. I'm just too skinny. How many grown men do you know that wear a size 34R or a 36S in a jacket? But the point here is that I felt awesome buying the blazer along with a couple other sale items. Retail therapy - my favorite kind of stress relief.
Speaking of therapy, last week I bought a video game called Cities: Skylines, where it's a simulation game basically like Sim City, but infinitely better. In a week, I've spent a lot of my time blocks that weren't alotted to working in playing this game. Creating and building my own "empire" in the form of a city is one of the most theraputic things I've ever done. It feels awesome and full of relief that I can make a city that I call mine - much like an artist's painting or a musician's song. It feels great! I am definitely going to use this game to relieve stress in the times that I need it.
So, that's that. The weather is crummy again this week, but hopefully it passes quickly because I'm really looking forward to sunshine and (even) warmer weather.
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