Carry On

Welcome back, once again.

As I'm winding down from my day off, ready to call it a night, I'll just write a little bit. I'm not sure what I have to say, but I thought today would be a good day to blog a bit. On a side note, though, I think it's healthy for everyone to write! Reading and writing have become such underappreciated skills in the midst of all this new age methodology that aid character development. Unfortunately with the "McDonaldization" of society, no one has time to sit down and read or write for long periods of time anymore. I have a good feeling that 80% of people who come across my blog would avoid reading my posts just based on their lengths. Goodbye attention spans of the next generation.

Anyways, I've had a couple of easier weeks here as I haven't had to preach since the first Sunday of March. So I've stepped back a bit from my work, and I'm not sure if that was a great idea. Haha. I'm feeling so lazy now that my overall production has dropped. The main reason for this is probably because I didn't plan out what I'd need to do during these couple of weeks. I knew what I needed to do, but getting to them just didn't work out. So a lot of my church work has been put off to the side, and I hope to pick it up this week. I have a lot of planning and preparation to do, so let's hope I kick myself in the butt to get things done.

Some of the things I need to do include making committees for a couple big events later in the year (summer camp and youth missions trip), finding a guest speaker for our summer camp, finding a vision for our children's ministries, and re-evaluating my preaching series. So far, I've done about 10% of all that. This week, my focus will likely be getting the committees and meetings set, then looking at my sermons.

The overall life in ministry has hit a plateau for myself. After the new year, things are now more or less stabalized and I'm seeing if everything works. I have a constant longing to try to help my teens experience the love of Christ in their lives. A few of them have said that their faith is slipping, and it pains me to hear that. At such critical points in their lives, I feel a huge burden of responsibility to create every avenue possible for them to see if it will steer them in the right direction. In the case that my youth walk away from God and the Church, I would probably feel a sense of failure on my part. I think the thought of this failure is currently my biggest fear. You get the thoughts of doubting that what you've done and implemented was not good enough to help them grow. As a pastor, this might be the biggest slap in the face. I'm sure I'll experience this at least a few times in my career to some degree, so it'll be interesting to see how I handle it.

A second concern that I will need to address sooner or later is the feeding of my own spiritual self. I think that this is something that I have been aware of since I took the position here at Newbern, so it is up to me to do everything I can to be fed. I've been searching, for sure, and exploring different possibilities. The only thing is I don't know how much of my investment into my work I can give up just so I can grow myself. If I'm not fed, I can't lead. I think this might be something I need to iron out and communicate with my senior. Let's just hope the language barrier doesn't hinder understanding.

In other news, I went out today and bought myself a couple of clothing items. Rarely do I ever feel good about buying extra things when I don't really have the finances to do so, but for whatever reason I felt so much joy when I walked out of the store today. Normally, I feel like doo doo when I spend money. Maybe because I bought the blazer that I've been looking such a long time for. It fits awesome too! Let me tell you, finding clothes to fit me is impossible here in North America. I'm just too skinny. How many grown men do you know that wear a size 34R or a 36S in a jacket? But the point here is that I felt awesome buying the blazer along with a couple other sale items. Retail therapy - my favorite kind of stress relief.

Speaking of therapy, last week I bought a video game called Cities: Skylines, where it's a simulation game basically like Sim City, but infinitely better. In a week, I've spent a lot of my time blocks that weren't alotted to working in playing this game. Creating and building my own "empire" in the form of a city is one of the most theraputic things I've ever done. It feels awesome and full of relief that I can make a city that I call mine - much like an artist's painting or a musician's song. It feels great! I am definitely going to use this game to relieve stress in the times that I need it.

So, that's that. The weather is crummy again this week, but hopefully it passes quickly because I'm really looking forward to sunshine and (even) warmer weather.