A New Day

I think I'm still in a state of disbelief that my schooling is done. I don't feel like I'm done, which is probably a good thing because it means I'm still willing to learn, but I believe the whole thing about "sinking in" won't happen until I actually start working. So then that means I'm left in this stage of limbo of my mind saying to me "I think I'm done." I've never been done school before, so this is totally new. Because I've never encountered this before, my brain and body keeps telling me that this break is all temporary and I need to find a summer job until school starts again in September. However, I know that this is not the case anymore. I actually wondered if I still needed to find a summer job. In all honesty, I probably could find a part time job to tie me over until I find a church, but I don't know if that's even necessary or if employers would hire me if I tell them that I'm working until I find an actual job.

You can probably tell what's sort of going through my head in that it's been almost a week of coming home and I haven't reflected and evaluated the end of my education, let alone blog about it. With the week that's gone by, I've basically done two things that (at least I, myself) find interesting. I bought a game for 60 bucks, played a couple hours of it, and don't really like it (don't worry, I'll still finish it). The second one is that I watched a music video of a song I've been listening to a lot recently, and realizing just how dark the song actually is now that I've watched the video. I thought it was just a song about putting the past behind you and moving on - boy, was I wrong.

Yeah, that's about it; pretty lame, I know. I'm also in a bit of conflict about unpacking all my things. I normally don't really unpack when I come home for summers because I know I'll just need to throw everything in boxes/bags again. Going down to Calgary was a big move, but my next one will be even bigger: I'll basically be vacating my spot in the house for good. As you can see, I'm stuck and not sure what to do with myself.

Furthermore, I keep getting asked, as expected, about potential churches - and even a wife, believe it or not - but I have to do my best to keep to what I said I'd do. I've been home for less than a week and I'm already feeling the pressure to go find a job, even after I said that I'm going to take two weeks completely off and that my goal is to be in a church by the Fall. It's difficult to try to go at my own pace when my pace gets swallowed up by the rest of the world's pace. Knowing me, though, it's not too difficult for me to take some time off. I just usually do it begrudingly, knowing I should probably be doing something productive.

So there you have it, a graduated student who's gone home for about a week, completely clueless as to what he is to do with himself during this time of transition. Nevertheless, tomorrow is a brand new day that I am extremely excited yet nervous about!

Now if only the weather would be warm enough to play soccer...