Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Spring Is Arriving!!

Ahhhhhh! I love that there is still sunlight outside when it's 7pm. We lost an hour of sleep due to daylight savings ending this past weekend, but I can deal with that. I don't know what it is, but the sun just makes life so much better. Haha.

I haven't blogged in March yet, so I thought I'd do that while I procrastinate. I don't really think much has happened since my last blog. I've remained lazy and that's about it. My dad turned 50, so I got the chance to go home this past weekend to celebrate a little bit. It's crazy to think that both my parents are 50 now. It's such an incredible accomplishment to live half a century, and I can only dream of getting there one day.

With the obligatory school updates, or more like rant, I have been struggling to do my work. It's an unfortunate struggle that has lasted almost a year now. I just can't seem to find motivation to do much, so I'm kind of left scrambling with a day or two left before things are due to try to finish them. Apathy is so dangerous, and with less than one year of school remaining, I am getting to that point where I just want to be done. It's too bad, because Spring of 2014 is still quite a ways away; but when we get there, I will do the standard "oh my gosh, where has all the time gone?!" So, while it's tough, I really want to make it so that between now and then, I don't want to have any regrets of how I spent my time. So, I know that it all depends on me and pushing myself to the point where I can finish strong.

Okay, I'm going to sound like a dork now. I think I like playing League of Legends too much. Actually, I don't know if I can say that. The game induces so much rage at times, so if I "like" that, then there might be an issue. Haha. The thing with the game is that you're never satisfied, so you want to keep playing. I think my knowledge of the game is starting to really take off, and so that just makes me want to continuously queue up and find a match so I can test out these knowledges. The bad thing is that most of the time, that's all I want to do: play League. Perhaps an uninstall will come in soon if I start prioritizing the game over some much more important things.

In other news, things with my internship are starting to take shape now, so I'm glad about that. One thing that God's been really good at doing to me is setting me up for things that 100% kick me out of my comfort zone without killing me. I think that, when I look back at my life, I've looked at many significant moments in my life the same way I'm looking at my internship right now. I don't think I can tell you exactly what it is, but I'll just say that I think a lot of it is anxiety. For someone like me, feeling nervous about things really isn't something I do a lot of. So, knowing me, I'll probably be going down to Saskatchewan with every bit of reluctance, and then proceed to learn a lot and grow a lot, at the very least. I also want to point out that growing and learning a ton doesn't necessarily equate itself with enjoying an experience. Case in point, I learned a ton about myself last year during my practicum, but to tell you that I enjoyed it would be a lie. This also doesn't mean that I don't want to enjoy my time in Saskatchewan; I do, I am just always kind of bracing myself for the worst case scenario.

Anyhow, I really wish that sometimes you could just ignore all that emotion crap and hurting-feelings crap and be able to slap some people in the face and tell them to wake up. Unfortunately, I'm not bold enough nor have the balls to do that, especially to people I care about. But there's just always times when I want to call them out for things without making myself look like the bad guy. And even if I did, I don't like arguing with people, so if they return with something to try to either make their case or just be a troll and try to disprove my stance or whatever, then I just kind of let it be because it's not a hill I'm willing to die on. They can have their victory, it's fine with me; most of the time, the disagreements happen in more of a lifestyle choice than anything. There's only a few things that I won't let go of, and when they appear, then I'll fight for it.

Gonna be a crazy couple of weeks!

No comments: