Despite getting more sleep than probably most people, I am extremely tired after coming home from summer camp. I wonder if it shows how weak I am, or if it's just a result of the sheer amount of work I've been doing over the last, I'd say, three weeks. Since I decided to lead worship for a couple weeks at church, I have more or less been doing things non stop. If I wasn't at work, I would be at home practicing or tying up some loose ends since coming home for the summer or running errands.
I think last week really did me in, in terms of not getting the sleep I need to replenish the energy I spent. Working at 6am will probably do that. I tried to go to bed early, but I couldn't really fall asleep. And when I did fall asleep, it only left me with about 4 or 5 hours max before I had to wake up to go to work. I am a cat. I need TONS of sleep. And I love sleeping, I think it's rather underrated. Haha. What's a better way to keep looking so young and growing so much at the same time?
So, yeah. I have to confess that I've always been skeptical about my home church's ability to push to that next level of becoming a church devoted to Christ. One thing, and I say it all the time, that I saw with NEAC is the potential/ability to do more or less anything we wanted. I've attended other churches for small amounts of time; but usually, there are things you can grasp pretty quickly. There are churches that have all the passion and all the heart, but they just don't have much training or ability to do things. Whereas other churches, like NEAC, might have all the skill and natural abilities to do things; but for whatever reason, apathy or whatever, they just never tap into that potential.
Being able to lead worship this weekend did two things to me: 1) it changed my mind, and 2) it confirmed one thought I've been having for a year or so. The first one is that I saw people, whom I originally would have considered the unlikeliest, to be full out worshiping like no other. These are people that, to me, normally don't show much emotion or don't care enough to show them. So seeing them being touched by the Spirit told me that my skepticism can be soon put to rest if what I saw was a precursor or a start. I basically learned that God slapped some sense in me, reminding me that even with all my skepticism, and sometimes it might even be true, that he is bigger and that he can overcome any of the doubts I had about our church - or any church for that matter.
The second one is pretty dependent on the first one. Now that I had my cynicism being flushed down the toilet, I think what's most important is the follow-through. Our church needs someone new to really fire up our congregations and people - someone to know how to push the right buttons at the right time. This person might not need to be the strongest theologically, but rather to have the ability to really stir up conversation and passion inside of everyone. A hype man or catalyst, basically.
I'm glad that I got to be a part of something special, and I look forward to keeping tabs on how things carry through even when I leave at the end of August - this time, maybe for good. And with that incredible transition, I cannot believe that half of my summer is essentially over. This summer of being home could potentially be the last summer that I'll ever be home on a summer break like this. I haven't and don't plan on really telling anyone (unless you read my blog, of course), because I've mentioned many times that I hate saying goodbye. But since my plan is to intern from May to December in 2013, I could very well not be coming home again. Because I would graduate the next April, I would be looking for a job somewhere immediately after. Then, the rest is history.
Happy Canada Day to everyone! I hope that it was an enjoyable day and that this upcoming week will be a stellar one.
<3
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