The Little Things

This post has the potential to contain some harsh and borderline inappropriate words.

Guys are normally "big picture" type of people. There are always exceptions where some guys do care enough for the details; however, there is no chance that a guy can match a girl at details - they're just on another level. I know I've done it before, and I know you have too. What have we done? When there is something, often a message, that you're trying to deliver to someone but don't want to be a dick about it, you often try to drop a hint subtly and hope they notice. I've thrown these out tons of times, and when I get a dirty look, I know I did my job. Okay, there is the cocky side of me. Yeah, I know you've done it before. When I do it, it's never a personal attack. I do it most of the time as a joke, or for funzies. I will never deliberately attack another person's character because I respect who they are. If there is something I feel that I need to express about that person, I will - most of the time - tell it to them in a semi-polite manner. If it is just something that I personally can`t cope with, I`ll often leave it alone because I know that it's just my problem that I can't agree with their whatever. But if I feel that it needs to be addressed because it goes beyond affecting me, then of course, I'm going to let them know.

However, recently I've noticed a few of these little minor detailed attacks. Instead of just trying to subtly drop it when I'm around so that I might catch it, they take it a step further and attack the areas that I influence. Some of you avid followers of my blog may remember reading me talking about how it seems everyone knows me and what I'm capable of. Not everyone has a natural ability to lead, and oddly enough I have a bit of that. So it means that I'm going to be able to influence the way some people act. And also, I've mentioned before that when you invite someone to live in your household, they can very potentially change the dynamics of your home; and I always feel like I've been doing that, even if it's not for the good. Unfortunately, they're too much of a wuss to tell me that I need to lay off a bit, so they attack my areas of influence. Or maybe they're just trying to be nice and let me be me, but trying to take indirect shots by eliminating the things I accomplish - so to speak. Basically what this mean is, they're disapproving the person that I am by controlling those that have taken something from my character. I know that I'm beating around the bush a lot, but let me try to draw a comparison for you. Let's say you have a kid. You teach your kid to act and behave a certain way. But one day, someone comes along, sees your kid act or behave a certain way, and then say to your kid that he/she is dumb and shouldn't be doing that. By calling out your kid, that person pretty much insults you and the way you are too because of what you taught your kid. Are you offended yet?

Anyways, what I was writing about may have made absolutely no sense to you; but to me, it's a big deal because my character is being attacked. I would like to think that anyone who knows me knows that I would never intentionally do something that would potentially harm someone or something. Yeah, I'm not the smartest so sometimes my decisions aren't the best; but it doesn't mean that there's a cruel intention behind it. If you have a better way of doing something, be my guest; just don't take shots at me by trying to "correct" something that resulted from who I am. If you really, really want to know the exact details to this, just talk to me. I wouldn't mind a chance to kind of vent a little bit either.

And at the end of the day (just in case you're like "oh, nathan"), I know I need to get used to these things and can't take "feedback" so seriously. I know that if I'm going to do what I think God wants me to do, I have to be able to handle these things. I'm writing about them because I care and I'm always looking to improve who I am. In my Christian Spirituality class, we talked briefly about how we can know that we are living in God's will. And I think what I talked about ties pretty well into all of this because how do you know if you're doing the right thing? A really abbreviated answer that we got was that if you're living by faith in God, genuine faith, then you're living in his will. When Jesus said multiple times "follow me", he doesn't say where to; and I think that it is just brilliant because it sprouts your curiosity and the only way you'll find out where you're going is if you follow. So, it's a lot alike in that same sense that if you're chasing after God's heart with your faith, then you'll be fine.

So, how does five papers in three weeks sound? I like writing papers that ask for my view or opinion. I, however, don't like writing papers that require me to do 20 hours of research just to maybe get an A. My plan is to get the easy ones out of the way as fast as I can, so I can focus on the biggies. There is quite the possibility of me getting owned this month. But because we're there..

... Hello weekend! Don't forget to set your clocks back an hour!