Culture Shock - Day 2: This Is Crazy

I kept saying to myself throughout the day, "this is crazy." My first day, being a Sunday, was made extremely easy thanks to my dad being here with me. But tomorrow morning, he leaves to go back home and I'll be left alone again. Worst case scenario, I'll feel abandoned for a few days before going into survival mode and forcing myself to cook the ugliest meals for myself to eat.

Admittedly so, my room smells a little like a guinea pig litter box and I'm not entirely sure why. When I unpack everything tomorrow I'll try to see if it's just how the room is like. I don't think it's the house becuase if it was, then I wouldn't smell it when I walked into my room. But when I do go into my room, the smell stands out.. And it's kind of unpleasant. I also really hope that I'm not allergic to this dog because I love him! He is an awesome black lab.

Anyways, I kept saying to myself that this just feels way too crazy to be real. It's only been a day, but my mindset has kind of unintentionally been that of a tourist, just passing by, visiting. Maybe it'll hit me hard when my dad leaves tomorrow. I took a brief look around town today and it just feels way too strange for me to believe that I'm going to be here until Christmas time. I'm guessing that this is what a culture shock feels like? Sort of? If it wasn't Edmonton, it was Calgary. If it wasn't Calgary, it was Vancouver. These are the three places that I'm most familiar with in my life. Now enters Assiniboia. What?

I do have to admit that this town isn't as bad as I thought it'd be, in terms of infrastructure and all that stuff that you'd expect a developed city to have. But still, the community is purely a farming community, so I have absolutely no idea how to carry a conversation because I don't even know anything about farms. I've picked up a few things today, but it's going to probably take all of the 8 months to even really scratch the surface of what life is like here. This is not like I moved to Europe or something, but it still feels weird. How long does culture shock usually go until it fizzles out?

Going to church for the first time was really neat though. The age demographics of this church is really interesting. There's a group of kids and some youth, a big gap, and then goes straight to young families and older retired and almost retired people. So there's next to no one else that's my age. However, they've all been really nice today. A ton of people were eager to meet me after the little installation service for me (which I find really weird, though I appreciate it, for an intern pastor).

For lunch, I had the privilege to meet John and Jen and their two daughters. I love their daughters, they're cool; they're 9 and 7 years old, I think? Really cool family.

I have so much to say already, and it's only been a day. I don't want to write it all out because I'm really tired, so I probably don't even make much sense. Just talk to me and I'll have tons to share!

My phone doesn't work because Rogers' towers don't reach past south of Moose Jaw. '^' I'll have a temporary Saskatchewan number soon!

Different - Day 1: Assiniwhat?

Well, I did my best in killing as many bugs as I could with my windshield and front bumper. I made it safely to Assiniboia at around 8pm today. The entire drive down, I'm like, "man this is different." Both me and my dad, who was caring enough to come down with me, were pretty intrigued by what Saskatchewan is like. My dad had been to Saskatoon once, but it was twenty years ago.

I also had no idea that I was this much of a city boy that I almost literally have no idea what is going on out here in the country. I mean, Alberta isn't your most civilized place - it is still a prairie province - but I feel so out of place in terms of an external environment. Edmonton has the entire population of Saskatchewan, so that gives you a rough idea of what it's like here in a town of 2800.

Anyway, I'm tired so I only unpacked the things that I need in order to let me go to bed tonight. I'll go to church tomorrow to meet the people I'll be working with for the next seven months. I'll feel really young, that's what it feels like based on what I know so far.

Other than that, I don't want to say much more because I want to sleep; so when I'm more energized, I'll give as much as I can.

Thanks to Conner for letting me stay at his place. I am allergic to cats, so let's hope I'm not allergic to his dog.

Packing

I always seem to struggle with packing, although I have learned to travel light. I struggle not in the sense that I'm panicking and not knowing what to bring, even though I kind of do that, but it's more like I just don't pack. I think that each time I've needed to pack big, I tell myself several days in advance that I need to pack, but I end up not doing it until the day before I leave. It's the knowledge that I'm leaving that makes me not want to do it, I think.

Once in a while, I will tell myself that I need to stop being such a kid and grow up. But it's so easy and so amazing to have that blissfulness of a child. Not everyone had a childhood as wonderful as mine, so it's understandable that they may not understand why I always want life to be like it was as a kid.

These two things go hand in hand for me: the packing and being childish. I don't like responsibility, what can I say? Haha. One part of why I am this way is because how much my parents have supported me throughout my life. They've made it so easy on me to live. Even when I'm on my own in Calgary, I know that a majority of the things I have access to is because of my mom and dad. It's pretty awesome, but at the same time it might have also held me back in trying to fend for myself. I am not saying that I want my parents to stop supporting me, because let's face it, the day that happens is the day I die.

Going to Saskatchewan is going to give me this opportunity to try doing it without mom and dad's go-go-gadget arms giving me things. Or as I like to put it, "I'm getting thrown into the firepit, and let's see if I can get out."

A couple weeks back, my dad asked me to think about this internship in a way that, if I gained absolutely nothing from it other than a couple things, what would they be? What I just talked about is probably one of them.

If everything fails for me with the church, with my mentor pastor, with myself, at the very least I want to see myself be able to learn to truly live on my own. I won't be able to do it very well, but there has to be a starting point somewhere. I definitely understand that I need to break out from the go-to-school-then-go-home-and-play-on-the-computer-all-day type of life. I need to start thinking about how to manage myself physically, spiritually, emotionally, psychologically, and relationally with others.

All that I've talked about doesn't even touch on what I want to do in the church that I'll be working at. This is the bare minimum, the ground zero, that I want to gain with my 8 months in Assiniboia. This platform will be pivotal AND icing at the same time. One, because I know that I will have some sort of impact on the church regardless of what I do, whether positive or negative. Working in the church is just something I've always loved to do; so while the opportunities and challenges will be new, the concept isn't. And, two, even though this is a pastoral internship, this bare minimum thing has absolutely nothing to do with working in the church and it will be one of the biggest challenges throughout the term.

As for stuff in the church, it's really hard for me to start with any general goals and such. Partly this is because I'll always have some sort of sense about what I want to achieve in ministry no matter where I'm at. So even if all else fails, the people hate me, the town hates me, etc., I'll know that at the very least, what I tried didn't work, so it'll help me going forward knowing that this certain thing didn't work here in this particular context. It's going to suck if that's the case, but it's a lesson learned. Besides, just because something doesn't work in one church doesn't mean that it's bad for all churches.

So at the bare minimum, if I had to label something, I think it'd be how I carry myself as a pastor. This takes into account the whole thing about being a kid. I need to have a strong discipline in how I carry myself in and out of the church. This internship is as close as it gets to doing the real thing for me, so it'll be a good test to see how I take it.

For one final thing, I want to be pro-active. It can be really hard for someone that's generally passive like me to tackle things head on or be assertive in taking action. But I need to have some level of that, or else people will not appreciate me very quickly.

So tomorrow is my last day in Edmonton for any extended amount of time until Christmas. Maybe if I pack with the mindset that I know I will be bringing all this stuff back, it'll help me not feel so bad. Haha.

This year, 2013, is a huge year for many of my closest relationships; and while I'm bummed that I can't be a part of all the amazing events, I want you to know that you have all of my support and all of my care in the milestone that you have reached in this particular time of life. Graduating, getting married, reaching your 25th annivesary, or starting your education after having found out what you want to do in life, these are all tremendous blessings that we cannot forget, and I want to wish you all the best. And remember the very reason we are able to experience these achievements.

Thanks, friends.

Monday Morning

So when I first started blogging, I pictured myself sitting at my desk on Monday morning, tea in one hand, newspapers in the other, and I'd just grace you with my wisdom and outlook on life. Maybe that's how people that make money off their blogs do it.

Anyhow, I've been able to spend a couple of lovely weeks at home doing nothing. Two weeks ago, I was in Calgary for a couple days to participate in my internship seminar. I met Greg, he's alright. I like him, and I'll get to like him even more when I'm spending the next eight months working with him. During the seminar, it was strange how I thought to myself that most of the interns were meeting their mentors for the first time, but they'd be re-meeting them again in August or September, or whenever they'd be starting internship. For me, it was just a short two weeks. On the other hand, that just reminded me that I don't have a summer this year. Oh well, I said I'd be okay with that if I wanted to graduate next spring.

With that being said, this is my last week in Edmonton until Christmas time. It's hard to believe that it's in the middle of May right now and I have this huge journey to be going on that will take up the rest of the year. I'm excited and nervous at the same time. I always tell people that I hate being uncomfortable, but at the same time I need to be uncomfortable in order to learn and grow. Crazy how that works, eh?

I'm not too sure of what exactly my goals are for my internship just yet, but I think it's something I'll be able to develop over the first few weeks of being in Saskatachewan. Other than what's already been said many times about my internship, I don't have anything more to say really.

Random thoughts that have popped into my head over the last few days:

• I looked into the sanctuary yesterday before leading worship and realized there's a ton of people I have never seen before, so I felt the need to introduce myself.. Weird.
• What seems to bother so many people about other people is exactly what their own weaknesses are.
• Most people know that my posture is atrocious; and so I've been trying to correct it, making people think that I've grown taller. LOL.
• The movie "Jack Reacher" with Tom Cruise was alright. Good acting, bad plot.
• On the topic of movies, I found myself watching a few romantic comedies this past week. lolwut?
• There's a lot of mint green colored clothing this spring - I'm guessing that's the trend to go along with the usual bright colors during spring time.
• I am in love with Gabrielle Aplin's music. Her twitter, not so much. Check out "Panic Cord."
• Playoff hockey is the best hockey there is.
• After saying that snapchat is trash over and over, I downloaded it...

That's it for now. I hope I can blog at least one more time before leaving on Saturday.