Biding Time

Hi! Hey! Hello!

Nice to meet you. I am terrible, I haven't blogged in almost a month, but you can call me Nathan! Unfortunately, not blogging is largely because I don't have much to blog about, meaning I haven't done, or even attempted to do, much. To be honest, I don't have much to say now either, so maybe I'll just tell you what you probably know.

First things first, I've watched a few more movies since the last blog. I think I watched more movies in the month of May than I have in all of 2012 and 2013 combined. One thing I love, though, is that I can always learn something from movies that directors attempt to relay to viewers. I appreciate that even some of the most pointless movies can have something decent - there are exceptions, of course.

Well, I can also say that I've officially preached my first sermon at my home church. Almost two weeks later, I still don't know how I feel about it. I'm afraid to confess that the entire time, it seemed like I couldn't really connect with the congregation; it felt like I was preaching inside of a box or a vacuum. People told me that they thought I did well, so I guess that they're just either being nice or that some part of my message did get through. It was an altogether strange experience for me. I normally feel pretty down after preaching, but this time wasn't all that bad. I just hope that what my impression of the sermon is a one-off. Overall, I'd put the sermon somewhere in the middle of all the times I've preached, in terms of how well it went. I always pray that if the message can touch at least one person, then the job is done, so hopefully that's what occurred.

Next, my family will embark on a five day trip to Radium in BC! We leave Sunday and come back Thursday, I think. I'm really stoked to get away for a while because coming home has grown a bit numb for me.

Speaking of coming home, I really feel my time of being at home for extended time is done. It's become so evident that when I'm home, I fall back into old habits and the old persona of who I am or was before I left. So I find myself not really being the person that I'd become during my time away. It sucks because this makes me somewhat of a two-face, but I guess if I'm just like this all the time, then it isn't really being two-faced, it's just me not being me. LOL. I really do think I've matured a whole lot as a person, but being where I am now just kind of brings back that side of me and I'm not really the person I've grown to be. So when I do or say something that is immature or inappropriate, I catch myself and get upset because I know that I've put these things behind so they shouldn't be resurfacing.

Anyhow! If you're wondering about my job search, I'm still stuck in a bit of a rut because I don't really know exactly what it is I'm looking for in a church. In the past, I've sort of listed out the preferences, described the scenarios I want, etc., but we all know that if God says differently, none of it matters. So I'm, in a sense, scared to say that "this" is what I want or that there is a certain role I want to get into. However, I also know that if I don't actively look for churches, I won't know when I come across the "right" one. So it works both ways, it's all up to me.

In the end, I don't think I really said anything. I'm just simply biding time until things happen. I'm still stuck, and beginning to feel numb. So this means I should probably do something with myself. Although, I am really looking forward to summer camp! World cup also starts next week, so I'll have things to occupy my time with again!