Don't Look Down

Man, it feels good to watch the Oilers give the Canucks a good spanking. It doesn't matter that the Canucks iced a minor league team, it is always going to feel good beating them no matter the circumstances.

So I've been home for a week now. I've loved it so much, except I've felt a bit restless all week, like I needed to be doing something. Instead, I just spent most of my time at home relaxing and spending some quiet time. I think it's usually like that right? After finishing a term, we almost don't know how to react to not having anything to do for a few days, so we kind of panic in trying to find out what is needed to be done next.

It's always awesome to come home, even if most people have learned to live sans me. I'm an attention whore, so I need to be noticed! Haha, just kidding. With being home brings some awesome things, but it can also bring back some old habits and re-ignite some things that may have left your life when you moved out, so it's always a battle and a challenge to try to keep my eyes fixed on what I need to.

From Monday to Wednesday, I'll be in Calgary for my internship seminar. I don't really know what to think about all this so far. I'm kind of excited, but at the same time, not really. I know that in preparing for my internship, my mindset will largely dictate how the internship actually goes. So, it's going to be one of the most difficult things I'll have ever done, but I'm going to do my best to go into this thing with an unmovably positive mindset. Can I do it? Am I crazy? Who knows, but that's my first and most important goal prior to the thing actually starting.

I'll get to meet my mentor pastor and get to sort a few things out, I think. Then I'll come back to Edmonton for a couple weeks and then head down to Assiniboia. I've always wondered why and how tiny towns that no one knows exists come to be. I'm willing to go out on a limb to say that a large majority of the people that live in this town have lived in the town for a very long time. Unless work sends you there, I just don't think many people will voluntarily say something like, "I want to move to Assiniboia." That just cannot happen! Maybe that's too much of a city boy mentality coming from me, but yeah. And to be fair, someone from New York would never say something like, "I want to move to Edmonton!" So it's all about perspective right?

With just a couple weeks until I start my internship, I've begun thinking about what I wanted to achieve with my time in Saskatchewan. I'm really not looking at anything academic or anything even of the knowledge/wisdom category. Most of my thoughts have been more about how this is going to affect the way I live life. One of the things that have popped into my mind a few times is the whole small town laidback-ness. Usually, the bigger the city you live in, the less time you have (so to speak). So it's going to be really sweet to see if there is actually any difference in how much time controls the lives of people in Assiniboia. I'm so laidback as a person, that if they're not as dictated by time, it'd be like heaven for me.

Another thing that I've thought about drew from my AIA summer. I talked about how people in small towns are so much nicer and more awesome than people in the city. Again, if this is even remotely true, I could potentially be infatuated with the place. On the other side of things, my AIA summer was when I was at a high point in my life, so almost everything I did is viewed in a highly positive regard. I probably encountered some really awesome people and awesome things over the last two years, but because I had struggled, maybe I didn't see them that way. However, I am on the upswing again (or so it seems), so hopefully it works out.

Being in Saskatchewan for 8 months is going to really test my independence. It's not going to be like in Calgary where I could just go to the store to get something if I wanted, or drive up three hours to come home. I had meals cooked for me, etc. All I really needed to do was go to class. So, standing at the edge of this ledge, I am not sure if I want to look down before I jump. If I do, it might scare me, but at least I'll know what I'm jumping into. If I don't, then...