Enjoying Things

I made a pretty neat discovery recently. This time, I have to thank the times where I may not have felt so fly. It's pretty cool, and I think it could allow me to enhance the way I live even more.

I found that throughout a span of time where things happen that don't impress me much, I am expecting, whether intentional or not, that the next thing to happen would be the same - being not happy. And if, for whatever reason, that it is actually a good event, I kind of get surprised by it and I don't really know how to respond. Most of the time, I find that I'll just kind of be glad that it's not another negative thing rather than actually enjoying or celebrating the positive vibes that I would normally want to emit.

So it's kind of like "well at least it isn't making me upset or angry" rather than actually allowing myself to indulge in the happiness that I'd be in if I wasn't in such a depressing mood.

I also realize that if I do let myself bask in all of the event's glory, I might seem even dorkier than normal. But I think I'm okay with that. So, the next time I'm in a crappy mood and something good happens, I'm going to do my best to let myself be happy. Quite honestly, when people are down, they look for more reasons to be down.. I don't really get why that is, but it's just the way we are.

Onto other news, I managed to use today to record some of my music again! Pretty stoked that this is what I get to do when I decide to be productive for a day. I got to mix in some cajon-age with my normally simple guitar and vocals tracks. I have way too much fun recording myself. I think that if I was a better singer, I'd record way too much because I don't have to do a song over and over.

But of course, today is my last day off for a couple weeks (minus Sundays). I looked at my schedule and it's going to be insane over the next couple weeks. I probably need to change my availability a little bit so I'm only mainly working on weekdays. My friend said it best when I talked with him a bit today. I can't allow my summer to be revolving around and dictated by this job. There are far more important things that I should be spending energy on. He was so right, and that has been exactly how I've felt since starting at Legends; it's felt like I can't do anything until I see if I have to work on that particular day.

Hopefully I have the guts to actually change my availability and actually lay down my grounds. I always feel like I'm way too nice in that I won't say no if it's still within reason. So that's how I ended up working the occasional Sunday and Saturdays. So maybe if I'm working on the days that I'm at least okay with working, I'll be better off; and that will also let me actually go back to do some serving in church rather than just talk about it. Haha.

Happy June!