Hmm, I wonder why I am blogging so insanely frequently recently. Oh well, it's better that I practice what I preach right? I think the difference of this entry will actually have some substance to it in regards to my situation.
When I moved down to Calgary, I had a bunch of boxes that carried all the stuff that I needed. I would say that I had about 4 or 5 boxes of things, and another box of just my shoes. Since having "settled in", all my stuff is still kind of just laying there. In an episode of Chuck a couple weeks ago, there was the conflict between Chuck and Sarah about why Sarah doesn't hang any of her clothes in the closet because she's never really had a "home", so she's never learned to settle in. I'm kind of that same way right now, to a lesser extent; obviously because I'm not a spy. But all my stuff is still kind of in their boxes and I haven't moved much more than my clothes out of them. Why? I don't know. Maybe because I don't really have a place I want to put them, or maybe I'm just too lazy. It's kind of like at a hotel where you try to take as little out as possible so you don't have to repack later. I'm guessing that it's because with just a month in, I haven't really been able to call Calgary home yet. I've tried, and I'm still trying; so it will probably come with time.
Well, with this Thanksgiving weekend, I came back up to Edmonton. And as of right now, I'm sitting in the spot where I always have had my laptop. To be honest, it feels really good. I can't think of a much better feeling than being in a place I know and see people I know. I'm going to be heading back to Calgary in a few hours, and it seems like it's all a dream. It almost seems as if all that Bible school stuff was a dream and this is where my life is. It felt so good to come back this weekend, and as I mentioned before, it's so nice to get to say hi to some of my siblings in Christ. Then it kind of hit me that, once again, I have to leave them behind and go back to doing what I'm doing. Although this Calgary experience has been pretty cool so far, the only thing I kind of wish is that I'd be able to go through this experience with everyone with me physically. I know that people are praying for me and all that kind of stuff, but since we're still on earth, there is always going to be that human desire for physicality - something of substance. So even knowing that people have my back, it's tough to not be able to just have that comfort level I get when I'm with the people that I've known all my life. So, yes, it kind of sucks that I'm not able to share, physically, with people about my experience. I think that's been the biggest difference so far. In the past, when we go to church and all that stuff, we're all able to share with each other about our week, our lives, etc., with complete comfortability, "letting our walls come down". I haven't been able to reach that comfort level right now. And I know it's early, but I hope that this will be able to be created over time. These are the results of lifelong relationships that have been created, and I am so glad that I have them. Some people move from place to place every couple of years, and they never really have a feeling of home. Maybe they're okay with it, but I guess it's mostly because they've never had it. You know what they say when you never know what you got 'til it's gone.
Almost time to wake up and get back to my school work! Should be an interesting couple of months for me. Next time: touchy subject of being called into ministry. (=
Happy Thanksgivin'!
No comments:
Post a Comment