Vindicated

Three posts in three days, I'm on a roll here.

What happens when you've been vindicated? You would think that there would be quite the satisfaction and relief since being vindicated means that a situation has been cleared up from, maybe, suspicion or being unsure of something. Less than 24 hours ago, I received confirmation on something that has been bothering me for pretty much this past half year or so.

I think one of the hardest things to do in life is to be able to know what God's calls are. Knowing is just one thing, finding out the reason why is at a whole different level. For someone like me, young and inexperienced, I hesitate most of the time when I feel that I am being called to something. Most of the time when I am presented with a situation, I am unsure of whether it is just me that I'm totally whacked up or that it really is God telling me something. I was very unhappy with myself for a while for being so weak and faithless because I knew that God calls people to things, and the calls may be unexpected or something, but I had a worry in me that said, "what if this is really God's call, and I am just being completely oblivious to it?" My thoughts either ended along the lines of that, or that I just tell myself that I am being stupid and, in a sense, selfish for thinking such things.

But, I think I've come to realize that every detailed thought is put into your head for a reason. So the easiest way to begin hearing what God has to say would be from within yourself. Then the assurance comes from confirmations from the outside world. I have been contemplating for such a long time that it has began to drive me mad, especially since I am going nowhere with school.

However, as of yesterday, I now know where I need to go, and being vindicated(I love using this word), I can hold my own and go my own way. The next step is to plan it out and see where I can go from there.

Thank you.