Work Ethic

Well, I haven't had a rant type of thing in a while and I believe I have to end that streak now. I normally do not like to worry or be negative about things, but I just feel like helping myself make a bit of a declaration to make a change in my life that is needed.

Ever since grade 7, my need to do homework or study had gone down so much that my work ethic dissolved into nothingness. Throughout junior high, I barely needed to study, even for the bigger exams. I was able to get by with my common sense coming out with pretty good marks at the end of grade 9. I think that if I had to guess how much time I spent studying in all three years of junior high, it would have to amount to about four or five hours of productive studying - no more. Then grade 10 came, a new chapter, a new world. I was still able to not do much work to finish the year with honors. There were signs though that the lack of working would eventually take it's toll and catch up to me making me pay for my laziness. And finally, in grade 11, I took heavy, heavy drops in my grades because I simply did not do homework or study. My marks dropped at such a fast rate that I could not even believe that I was getting these marks. There was no hiding it. My parents wanted me to do good, they even gave me incentives to work; The standards that I were to meet kept getting lower and lower but I still could not get them.

Then grade 12 started and that is when I hit my low with these things called grades. I was fortunate enough to recover by the end of the year to get an average very close to honors but my lack of working was still evident. It has been something that I am constantly being reminded of and something I have been trying to correct for a very long time. The laziness I have developed has turned into my biggest weakness as a person. I am so lucky that this weakness of mine doesn't affect anyone other than me. Then again, it disappoints my parents to have to see me doing nothing all day and could possibly give them a sense that I just don't want to try, which is not the case at all. I mean, everyone has something that they need improvements in. It's very obvious that someone is only as strong as their weakest point. The thing with me is that my laziness is so strong in me, I could have the biggest determination in the world and still end up doing no more than a math assignment or two. It bothers me daily and I wish very much that I can fix this problem of mine, but as of right now, it just isn't working. Building up over six years of my life, it isn't something that will just happen overnight where I wake up the next day and have the world of a work ethic.

I believe I have the right mindset because I always wake up everyday looking forward to what the day gives me and how I respond to things. The only problem is executing. I am just absolutely horrible at it. I would tell people that I need to go home to do homework or to study with good intentions. But when I get home, everything falls apart and I am found doing something else. I wake up, go to school, come home, play some guitar, go on my laptop, watch TV, go on the laptop, play guitar, eat supper, go on laptop, play some guitar, and finally go to sleep. That is what most of my days look like with an odd occassion of an hour or so to finish an assignment. I am getting owned for my lack of studying; homework gets finished for sure, but barely.

I guess all I can do is just keep with my mindset and have patience with myself. Six years of my young life seems like alot, but like I said, I am still young and to be able to change myself comes alot easier now than 20 or 30 years down the road. I am still positive with myself to set goals each morning to get a certain amount finished. Of course, I finish each day disappointed that I have done next to nothing, but I believe that, like everything else, each day my determination will grow stronger and stronger and I am sure I will eventually be able to break this habit of laziness because that's just the way life works.

"You miss 100% of the shots you don't take" - the Great One. Everyone should have heard this before. So if you may have similar situations that I face, I encourage you to, no matter how hopeless it seems, to keep your attention in the right place and to be determined for change. It is better for you to atleast give it a shot than to do nothing at all but whine, because when you tell your mind to try, you create chance for success no matter how small it is.

Now let's see what happens with my math midterm tomorrow.