Deeper

A big personal challenge of mine that I'm being called upon is to go deeper into my relationship with God. I don't want to say I've stagnated, because I've still had to learn to depend on God in new ways in the last couple of years, but that has never lead me to going deeper into knowing Christ.

"If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it. For what does it profit a man if he gains the whole world and loses or forfeits himself?" (Luke 9:23-25)

This passage has long been one of my all time favorites. It's a reminder to me that everyday I need to surrender myself, all of me, to the will of God - much like how Jesus had to do it when he was praying in the garden. I've always said that everything I have is from God, so I give it all back to him. We all know that anyone can say that, but it's never completely true. So I need to learn to surrender more and more of myself. It's a tug-of-war because I'm always holding on to some piece of everything. I'll be scared that if I let go of control in some way, that I'll be lead somewhere I don't want to be.

This means death to self. It makes total sense, but is so difficult to do. If I rely on myself and my own power to grow and go places, I'm depending on the very strength and power that has lead me to living a life of sin, and hoping that I get closer to Jesus with it. You don't mix poison with poison and get clean water.

Fact of the matter is, if I want to go deeper, I have to be willing to let go. Unity in Christ leads to holiness, and I don't make progress if there are always little things I'm holding onto.

A challenge I wake up to, every morning.