January, thus far, has been a rather strange month. To me, it's seemed like it's gone by really fast, yet really slow at the same time. You must be wondering and inclined to ask, "how is that so?" Well, let me tell you exactly how it is so: I have no idea!
Yeah, as we enter into the last week of the month, I can look back and definitely say that it's been a very interesting one, to say the least.
On the 17th, my church celebrated its 40th year via an oversized banquet of 450-500 people. A lot of people wondered how a church of less than 150 could hold a banquet that's triple the size of the regular attendance - I've wondered the same. I know it ended up being a lot of family members and friends of church members, previous members, previous staff, etc. So when you think about it, it's not too hard to pull so many people into the dinner. As you would've expected, it was structured very traditionally with MC's and a set program for the dinner.
I must confess that I really didn't enjoy it very much. It's terrible for the English pastor to be saying that, but it's just how I felt. I was rather uncomfortable the entire evening, but I think from a neutral point of view, it wasn't all that bad. I know a lot of people enjoyed the evening quite a bit, so I want to support them in that. Before you bring out your pitchforks, I'm never one to really enjoy high profile large gatherings, so regardless of how it went, the chances of me liking this one was pretty slim too. I'm introverted, so all my energy is usually drained before the food even hits the table. On top of being overwhelmed by everything, there's just often way too much superficiality between the interactions of people. In many ways, it becomes more about putting on a good show to be displayed for everyone to see.
However, you can also just say that I'm really bad at celebrating.
On the other hand, I really enjoyed my parents being down here though. My mom and dad have this subtle but caring way of showing me that I still have a lot to learn and a long way to go in learning how to be independent. I never really need to observe them for more than a couple minutes to be reminded that I really don't have my stuff together. But, that's just what parents do, and I appreciate it more often than not. Maybe one day I can be this example for my children too. But as is the point of this thought, I still have a long way to go.
After kicking off a new series this month, I get to take a break from preaching this Sunday. I've really enjoyed reading and studying the first couple weeks of the month. In the three messages I've preached, I've yet to preach through all that I'd planned to. If I did, I would've gone on for an hour or longer. It goes to show that I've submerged myself into the Word, and I'm seeing how it's helped me piece things together. Having a week off here will be good, but I'm excited to get right back at it in February.
It's been a very mixed January for me. I've wanted to be happy and excited, motivated and driven, but I am always finding things that hold me down. All I can really do is keep going, and see where I end up a month from now.
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