At a glance of the title, and knowing where I'm going, you can already get a sense that the question is redundant.
I had a conversation with a mother today; she's new to our church, only having attended for a couple months, mainly to find a place for her son. There have been an influx of Koreans into our community, it seems, and this mother is among them. Though her family is an interesting case because she married a Chinese man, so she still has that connection to the Chinese culture.
In getting to know her, she's slowly begun to open up to me about why she started attending Newbern with her son. For several weeks, all she ever revealed was that she wants her son to find a Chinese church where he'd enjoy attending.
After service today, I sat down to see how they were doing, and she finally opened up more of what she's been looking for. Through her broken English, I did what I could to understand and allow her to speak; but one thing was very clear to me from everything she said. When she first mentioned it, her concerns about churches in Vancouver instantly gripped me tightly.
From her point of view, she essentially thinks churches seem to be trying to do too much. Everything feels very overwhelming, to a point of having so many programs that really push people to be here, be there, be everywhere. The mom told me that she really just wants a place where she can worship freely and experience fellowship the way it should be done. In her humility, she said she prefers simple and doesn't like the unbelievable amount of program/activity. She continued to say that in her search for a church, big and small, she felt very strongly about the lack of God's presence in many of the church communities.
By this point, I'm completely encaptivated by what she's saying. So I decided to take a step further and ask her why she's kept coming to our church with her son. After stumbling on her words, what I heard was basically that God wants them to be here. For a pastor, there aren't many other words I would rather hear than those that she had spoken.
In 5-10 short minutes, I felt incredibly humbled and challenged to review what I've been doing at Newbern. Do I tend to focus so much on programs that I completely forget about the presence of God in all my ministries? In being asked this question, I am determined to help this mother and her son find what they are looking for. But I can't help but think that there is a lot of truth to what she said. Not out of poor intention, but so many churches are so keen on trying to revive their church that they will resort to so many programs just to attract attendance. When we camp around building programs, people leave when programs leave. If we camp around Christ and his presence, lives are changed and Christ goes with us where we go. So much to dwell on.
The fact that her son said that he enjoys being here already brings me great joy. She helped me understand that her current goal is ultimately to find her son a church where he can belong, and then to find one for herself. In some ways, I hurt for her that she better understands and prefers Korean, but we're unable to provide that for her. So in seeing her sacrifice to break cultural barriers in order for her son to be in touch with the Chinese side of his heritage is very heartwarming to me. I need to do what I can to help her in her journey as well.
While this mother and son have been finding joy and a willingness to be at Newbern, they are actually the ones who are blessing us with their desire to be here.
Sunday, September 25, 2016
Sunday, June 19, 2016
Honor
Recently, I hit a spot where I was put in my place in a very good way. There are very few times I can recall where I felt so undeservedly honored to a point where I couldn't really bear it.
I went to our middle-aged fellowship gathering (don't know what else to call them, haha) at one of the senior couples' home. When I got there, I was just making my rounds saying hello to everyone when I got to the man of the house, an original founding member of the church I pastor at, and an incredibly wise man.
He asked me if I could spare a few minutes of time with him because he wanted to know how I studied during my devotion time. I was glad to have the chance to share, but I quickly realized that he didn't really ask me what he wanted to ask me. So I get brought into his study room, and I'm blown away by the amount of books and bibles laying around, from shelves to tables, much like a scholar and deeply devoted man would. He started pointing out a little bit of what he did, how he tackled the Word of the Lord, and I was so blown away at how devoted and faithful he had been all these years. I saw commentaries, dictionaries, maps, shelves of notes, teaching material, etc. My initial thoughts were that I could learn from this man, he's got wisdom of generations stored up in his house.
And then the moment came. He turns to me and asks, "Can you give me advice on how I can do a better job in studying the Word?"
Picture an 80 something year old man, essentially bowing down, and asking his 25 year old pastor on advice on how to study the Bible better. I can count on one hand how many moments in my life where I'm so caught off guard by something that I am literally left speechless, unable to open my mouth even if I wanted to. This situation added to that number.
I stood there with a dumbfounded smile on my face, not able to come up with anything to say, because I'm thinking to myself that I should be learning from this man. But instead, he has the grace and humility to ask me on how to do better in studying God's word. Needless to say, I felt embarrassed; I wish I was half the man this guy was in diligence and faithfulness to studying the Word.
Sheepishly, I confessed to him that I think I really should be learning from him, but he asked again. Looking at his anticipation of my response, I simply couldn't offer him anything that I thought would enrich his studying. This man has traveled the world, served tirelessly for years, studies with fire, and is asking me, some dork, who grew up in Edmonton and could barely keep a conversation moving, on how to better study the Bible. Honestly, what can I even say?
My response is irrelevant because I've already been put in my place. Humbled doesn't even begin to describe the honor that I felt that he would ask me. For a while I'd been concerned that I can't make a difference in the lives of those who are beyond my experience and stage in life, but God just really has a way to show me how he's going to use me however he pleases.
It's been a few days and I'm still not over the fact that this happened. I can't help but to praise God for giving me the opportunity to know this man and to learn from his example of humility. What do you even say to that?
I went to our middle-aged fellowship gathering (don't know what else to call them, haha) at one of the senior couples' home. When I got there, I was just making my rounds saying hello to everyone when I got to the man of the house, an original founding member of the church I pastor at, and an incredibly wise man.
He asked me if I could spare a few minutes of time with him because he wanted to know how I studied during my devotion time. I was glad to have the chance to share, but I quickly realized that he didn't really ask me what he wanted to ask me. So I get brought into his study room, and I'm blown away by the amount of books and bibles laying around, from shelves to tables, much like a scholar and deeply devoted man would. He started pointing out a little bit of what he did, how he tackled the Word of the Lord, and I was so blown away at how devoted and faithful he had been all these years. I saw commentaries, dictionaries, maps, shelves of notes, teaching material, etc. My initial thoughts were that I could learn from this man, he's got wisdom of generations stored up in his house.
And then the moment came. He turns to me and asks, "Can you give me advice on how I can do a better job in studying the Word?"
Picture an 80 something year old man, essentially bowing down, and asking his 25 year old pastor on advice on how to study the Bible better. I can count on one hand how many moments in my life where I'm so caught off guard by something that I am literally left speechless, unable to open my mouth even if I wanted to. This situation added to that number.
I stood there with a dumbfounded smile on my face, not able to come up with anything to say, because I'm thinking to myself that I should be learning from this man. But instead, he has the grace and humility to ask me on how to do better in studying God's word. Needless to say, I felt embarrassed; I wish I was half the man this guy was in diligence and faithfulness to studying the Word.
Sheepishly, I confessed to him that I think I really should be learning from him, but he asked again. Looking at his anticipation of my response, I simply couldn't offer him anything that I thought would enrich his studying. This man has traveled the world, served tirelessly for years, studies with fire, and is asking me, some dork, who grew up in Edmonton and could barely keep a conversation moving, on how to better study the Bible. Honestly, what can I even say?
My response is irrelevant because I've already been put in my place. Humbled doesn't even begin to describe the honor that I felt that he would ask me. For a while I'd been concerned that I can't make a difference in the lives of those who are beyond my experience and stage in life, but God just really has a way to show me how he's going to use me however he pleases.
It's been a few days and I'm still not over the fact that this happened. I can't help but to praise God for giving me the opportunity to know this man and to learn from his example of humility. What do you even say to that?
Saturday, June 11, 2016
Vapor
Two nights in a row, I'm reminded of how fragile life is and how quickly we come and go. We're not as invincible as we try to be.
"Yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes." James 4:14 (ESV)
For the Christ follower, "to die is gain" right? If that's so, and if I truly believe it, then death shouldn't be all scary like people make it out to be. What has begun to concern me more is what precedes that phrase in the well known Philippians passage.
"To live is Christ." When standing before the face of death, especially these last two evenings, I'm becoming more convicted that we, ones who call ourselves Christians, do an awful job at living the way Christ has called us to. We're too concerned about our own comfort and safety that we'd rather not cause any trouble, fearing that we might get hated on or something - because we're totally unaware and surprised that people don't like us to begin with, right?
When will we rise up as the Church to bring hope to the broken hearted? We lose good people everyday. I can't help but think that the people who are affected by such loss will only be able to find peace in Christ. I've been praying for revival, for the Holy Spirit to be blowing the winds of a resurgence, and for the sails of the church to catch this wind. There's been no other time that I've been alive where a need for Christ has been so strong. The world's been preaching a message of false hope and false salvation long enough. I want to be part of what Christ is doing in this city and this country; I firmly believe I'm no longer content to just sit quietly in my space and let people wander aimlessly with no real hope in their lives.
Our lives are way too short and fragile to just casually waste away.
"Yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes." James 4:14 (ESV)
For the Christ follower, "to die is gain" right? If that's so, and if I truly believe it, then death shouldn't be all scary like people make it out to be. What has begun to concern me more is what precedes that phrase in the well known Philippians passage.
"To live is Christ." When standing before the face of death, especially these last two evenings, I'm becoming more convicted that we, ones who call ourselves Christians, do an awful job at living the way Christ has called us to. We're too concerned about our own comfort and safety that we'd rather not cause any trouble, fearing that we might get hated on or something - because we're totally unaware and surprised that people don't like us to begin with, right?
When will we rise up as the Church to bring hope to the broken hearted? We lose good people everyday. I can't help but think that the people who are affected by such loss will only be able to find peace in Christ. I've been praying for revival, for the Holy Spirit to be blowing the winds of a resurgence, and for the sails of the church to catch this wind. There's been no other time that I've been alive where a need for Christ has been so strong. The world's been preaching a message of false hope and false salvation long enough. I want to be part of what Christ is doing in this city and this country; I firmly believe I'm no longer content to just sit quietly in my space and let people wander aimlessly with no real hope in their lives.
Our lives are way too short and fragile to just casually waste away.
Friday, May 20, 2016
Deeper
A big personal challenge of mine that I'm being called upon is to go deeper into my relationship with God. I don't want to say I've stagnated, because I've still had to learn to depend on God in new ways in the last couple of years, but that has never lead me to going deeper into knowing Christ.
"If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it. For what does it profit a man if he gains the whole world and loses or forfeits himself?" (Luke 9:23-25)
This passage has long been one of my all time favorites. It's a reminder to me that everyday I need to surrender myself, all of me, to the will of God - much like how Jesus had to do it when he was praying in the garden. I've always said that everything I have is from God, so I give it all back to him. We all know that anyone can say that, but it's never completely true. So I need to learn to surrender more and more of myself. It's a tug-of-war because I'm always holding on to some piece of everything. I'll be scared that if I let go of control in some way, that I'll be lead somewhere I don't want to be.
This means death to self. It makes total sense, but is so difficult to do. If I rely on myself and my own power to grow and go places, I'm depending on the very strength and power that has lead me to living a life of sin, and hoping that I get closer to Jesus with it. You don't mix poison with poison and get clean water.
Fact of the matter is, if I want to go deeper, I have to be willing to let go. Unity in Christ leads to holiness, and I don't make progress if there are always little things I'm holding onto.
A challenge I wake up to, every morning.
"If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it. For what does it profit a man if he gains the whole world and loses or forfeits himself?" (Luke 9:23-25)
This passage has long been one of my all time favorites. It's a reminder to me that everyday I need to surrender myself, all of me, to the will of God - much like how Jesus had to do it when he was praying in the garden. I've always said that everything I have is from God, so I give it all back to him. We all know that anyone can say that, but it's never completely true. So I need to learn to surrender more and more of myself. It's a tug-of-war because I'm always holding on to some piece of everything. I'll be scared that if I let go of control in some way, that I'll be lead somewhere I don't want to be.
This means death to self. It makes total sense, but is so difficult to do. If I rely on myself and my own power to grow and go places, I'm depending on the very strength and power that has lead me to living a life of sin, and hoping that I get closer to Jesus with it. You don't mix poison with poison and get clean water.
Fact of the matter is, if I want to go deeper, I have to be willing to let go. Unity in Christ leads to holiness, and I don't make progress if there are always little things I'm holding onto.
A challenge I wake up to, every morning.
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