Since the last time I blogged, lots have happened - most of which are struggles. I want to end the blog with the good so I'm going to start with the poo poo.
To put things quite frankly, I have never felt this stressed before. I don't even think the stress this week is self-inflicted at all, though I've allowed it to affect me. Each night I've gone to bed, and each morning I've waken up this week have been like trying to lift mountains. I don't think I've ever been burdened to the point of actual grief, but I came rather close on several occasions already.
My biggest worry as of right now is the brutal sermon I'll be preaching this coming Sunday. I don't want the people of this church to have to suffer through a terribly ill-prepared sermon because of my downfalls - this is my greatest concern. I normally like to start praying about sermons at least 2 weeks in advanced and the actual preparation the Monday of the week I'm going to preach. However, because I coached a week of soccer camp last week (which was actually amazing - more on that later), I didn't even think about my candidacy being this weekend until Monday.
Even when Monday arrived, I neglected the work I needed to put in. I tried to fight my laziness, but it really didn't work. Monday passed, Tuesday passed, and I was confused as to why I couldn't sit down and work. I was literally visiting every avenue that would allow me to stay away from preparing. My curiosity, though, makes me wonder how much of it is actually me and how much of it is that I'm being attacked. Several times throughout the week, I've caught myself accusing my own self about how I'm so lazy and how I really shouldn't be wasting time; and each time, I've helplessly spectated as I seemed to be beside myself and not be able to control my own actions. I would sit down, start up a game, and play it, all while my mind is telling me, "you should be preparing, but you know you can't! Suckaaaa!" It was awful.
Alright, let's backtrack a bit. If you only follow my blogs, you're likely confused as to how we got here. To make a long story short. I've decided to candidate at Newbern Memorial Alliance this weekend. This was decided early in August as I was trying to sort out what would be the best to approach the two churches. Given other reasons that I won't disclose yet, it looks like my relationship with Richmond Grace could possibly be over for now. Nothing is for certain, but I wanted to make it clear that I am focused solely on Newbern Memorial Alliance as of right now. Finally, due to professionalism and out of respect, I'm not going to go into more detail on my blog. If you're interested, I can definitely give you a good idea of what happened.
To cap off this job hunt process, I could really use some prayer over the next couple weeks. First, I need to be able to make it through the weekend as prepared and as clear-minded as possible. Given how this week has gone, if nothing changes, I'm going to have a really hard time and likely come out extremely discouraged. This is due to the combination that I've been in a bit of a rut spiritually and just the overall stresses of candidating at a church. Secondly, I'll need clarity in discernment to see that if I get an offer, that this is the church God wants me at. If it isn't, where do I go next? That's the big question, because I'm putting everything I have into getting this position.
Let's talk about the good now!
As mentioned, I had the awesome privilege to coach (and be paid!) a week of soccer camp at Terwillegar Community Church last week. This camp was a massive camp that needed a 5th coach, so Bev was nice enough to ask me to join them. I'm so glad that I had this opportunity, because I think God really used me at this camp to reach out to several kids. With a camp of 75 kids, it's really difficult to remember all their names, let alone connect with them, but I really think God made it work. Being able to coach, despite the harsh heat, really brought joy and refreshment to me as it gave me a chance to do what I love: play soccer and tell people about God.
On top of coaching at soccer camp, and even though my touch isn't the greatest right now (I don't think I could get back to the summer where I coached, unless I do it again), I feel like my ability to play the game is at an all time high now. I have never been so confident in my soccer ability, haha.
So there you have it: a quick update on where I'm at and where I'm going... tomorrow! I condensed everything as much as I can so this wouldn't turn into an essay.
Hopefully the next time I blog, it will be some fantastic news!
Thursday, August 21, 2014
Sunday, July 27, 2014
SOON™
What an eventful and productive 10 days I spent in Vancouver! I come back with awesome news and great anticipation; hopefully you can find as much excitement as I can, haha.
When I got to Vancouver, I was somewhat nervous about the whole situation. I know that usually when I go to stay over with the cousins, it means fun and games. For the first couple days, I had to really bring home my preparation for the summer camp talks. I was so stoked that my four sermons were really coming together and really bringing the theme to the place that would hit home for the church. When I look at it now, it somewhat amazes me the way God put this series together for me. One of my struggles at first was that, while the four sermons needed to be distinct sermons, they also needed to be linked together in the specific theme for the weekend. For most of my prep work, I had four distinctions, but I didn't find many opportunities to join them together to help gain a bigger and broader understanding of the theme.
So we went off to a pretty sweet resort (mostly awesome if you're in the bigger numbers of your age) called Cedar Springs. It was a Christian resort/retreat centre that felt like it was Narnia, mostly because of where it is and how hidden the place is relative to how the highways and roads worked in that part of Washington. The site was pretty cool, but it didn't offer too many opportunities for the youth to run around and play games/activities. Their food was also fantastic for it being camp food. I was actually somewhat disappointed when Ps. Joe told me that the food there was actually on the lower end of some of the nearby resorts and what they offered - I really thought the food was great, just to find out that there's even better food!
At the end of the day, I think I did a good job with the series. There was probably one where I struggled a bit because I decided to join the group for a morning hike, thinking that it would be a nice casual walk, but turned out to be exhausting and destroying of my confidence. One girl even fell going down a steep part and got some scrapes. So I was slightly shaken before the talk. However, I think I recovered alright and then gave a couple pretty good sermons to cap it off. All in all, the experience was incredible. I just wish I would've been prepared for how tired I would've been after. I knew I had to meet with two churches on Monday and Wednesday, so I didn't have time to be tired, but throughout the rest of my time in Vancouver, I was beyond out of it. I almost did my hair with toothpaste. Yeah.
With the seamless transition into the topic of visiting churches, I've been invited by both of them to candidate as a potential pastor. Meeting with both churches was awesome. It was so nice to be able to meet them and hear where they are and where they need to go. Thinking about the potential of working in either of those environments has me all jittery with excitement!
So there is one of the churches that I really want. If that one doesn't work out, I'll be extremely disappointed because I don't know if the other church will be as good of a match as the first one. What will happen, then, is that I'll pick one church to candidate at first. If I like it enough, I'll take the job. If there are some things that aren't lining up, then I'll candidate at the second church as well, then make the decision.
My guess is that this process will take a month or so once I start, so when I go to Vancouver again, it could mean that I'm there for good! I am so excited; you could not believe how excited I am!
So that's that. My dream will be fulfilled soon! I'm totally looking forward to the fun and the challenges I will face when I can finally arrive at where God told me to go five years ago when his call for me to go into ministry met me in my prayers.
When I got to Vancouver, I was somewhat nervous about the whole situation. I know that usually when I go to stay over with the cousins, it means fun and games. For the first couple days, I had to really bring home my preparation for the summer camp talks. I was so stoked that my four sermons were really coming together and really bringing the theme to the place that would hit home for the church. When I look at it now, it somewhat amazes me the way God put this series together for me. One of my struggles at first was that, while the four sermons needed to be distinct sermons, they also needed to be linked together in the specific theme for the weekend. For most of my prep work, I had four distinctions, but I didn't find many opportunities to join them together to help gain a bigger and broader understanding of the theme.
So we went off to a pretty sweet resort (mostly awesome if you're in the bigger numbers of your age) called Cedar Springs. It was a Christian resort/retreat centre that felt like it was Narnia, mostly because of where it is and how hidden the place is relative to how the highways and roads worked in that part of Washington. The site was pretty cool, but it didn't offer too many opportunities for the youth to run around and play games/activities. Their food was also fantastic for it being camp food. I was actually somewhat disappointed when Ps. Joe told me that the food there was actually on the lower end of some of the nearby resorts and what they offered - I really thought the food was great, just to find out that there's even better food!
At the end of the day, I think I did a good job with the series. There was probably one where I struggled a bit because I decided to join the group for a morning hike, thinking that it would be a nice casual walk, but turned out to be exhausting and destroying of my confidence. One girl even fell going down a steep part and got some scrapes. So I was slightly shaken before the talk. However, I think I recovered alright and then gave a couple pretty good sermons to cap it off. All in all, the experience was incredible. I just wish I would've been prepared for how tired I would've been after. I knew I had to meet with two churches on Monday and Wednesday, so I didn't have time to be tired, but throughout the rest of my time in Vancouver, I was beyond out of it. I almost did my hair with toothpaste. Yeah.
With the seamless transition into the topic of visiting churches, I've been invited by both of them to candidate as a potential pastor. Meeting with both churches was awesome. It was so nice to be able to meet them and hear where they are and where they need to go. Thinking about the potential of working in either of those environments has me all jittery with excitement!
So there is one of the churches that I really want. If that one doesn't work out, I'll be extremely disappointed because I don't know if the other church will be as good of a match as the first one. What will happen, then, is that I'll pick one church to candidate at first. If I like it enough, I'll take the job. If there are some things that aren't lining up, then I'll candidate at the second church as well, then make the decision.
My guess is that this process will take a month or so once I start, so when I go to Vancouver again, it could mean that I'm there for good! I am so excited; you could not believe how excited I am!
So that's that. My dream will be fulfilled soon! I'm totally looking forward to the fun and the challenges I will face when I can finally arrive at where God told me to go five years ago when his call for me to go into ministry met me in my prayers.
Tuesday, July 15, 2014
Journeyman
What's really exciting and nerve wracking is that I'm about to travel alone for the first time in six years. Going to school doesn't count because that's just driving 3 hours south, and I usually did it with someone anyway.
The last time I ventured to Vancouver alone was when I interned at UrbanPromise. I'm a very different person than I was then, and it's also unfortunate that UrbanPromise Vancouver no longer exists. That organization was one of the pinnacle moments for me in my life's ministry.
I'll be taking off at around 6:30pm tonight to Vancouver for a much different purpose. I'll be in Vancouver for 10 days, mostly for "work" related things.
This upcoming weekend, I'll be speaking at Westwood Alliance's summer camp down in Cedar Springs. I was told that the resort is really nice, so I'm looking forward to staying there. Preparing these talks have been difficult because I've needed to prepare 4 talks rather than just 1. On top of that, my primary purpose for being at this camp is to speak, and speak to many people who I'll be meeting for the first time and likely the last as well. What I've noticed is that a lot of what I've prepared for so far (I'm not done yet), is that a lot of what I'm going through in my season of life ends up in these talks. What I've learned from studying and reading has also affected the way I've lived life as well. Personally, I think every sermon should begin like this: we have to be ministered to by the message first, otherwise it diminishes the effect it would have on the people listening. So far, so good - though I'm sure there will be many times I don't feel this way.
After the camp, I'm going to be spending the week contacting churches and such. People ask me if I'll go buy anything, go to parks, or whatever. I want to, and the temptation is there, but I need to remind myself that it will have to wait. However, my cousin convinced me to go to an amusement park this week (I'm assuming the PNE). All it took was "roller coaster"; I'm not even someone that really enjoys them.
I haven't been to Vancouver in two years, and there's always that anticipation from me that wonders what has changed to the place and the people I know. I know I've changed, so I guess it goes both ways.
Here's to hoping it's a very productive couple weeks for me; my immediate future could very well hinge on these next days.
The last time I ventured to Vancouver alone was when I interned at UrbanPromise. I'm a very different person than I was then, and it's also unfortunate that UrbanPromise Vancouver no longer exists. That organization was one of the pinnacle moments for me in my life's ministry.
I'll be taking off at around 6:30pm tonight to Vancouver for a much different purpose. I'll be in Vancouver for 10 days, mostly for "work" related things.
This upcoming weekend, I'll be speaking at Westwood Alliance's summer camp down in Cedar Springs. I was told that the resort is really nice, so I'm looking forward to staying there. Preparing these talks have been difficult because I've needed to prepare 4 talks rather than just 1. On top of that, my primary purpose for being at this camp is to speak, and speak to many people who I'll be meeting for the first time and likely the last as well. What I've noticed is that a lot of what I've prepared for so far (I'm not done yet), is that a lot of what I'm going through in my season of life ends up in these talks. What I've learned from studying and reading has also affected the way I've lived life as well. Personally, I think every sermon should begin like this: we have to be ministered to by the message first, otherwise it diminishes the effect it would have on the people listening. So far, so good - though I'm sure there will be many times I don't feel this way.
After the camp, I'm going to be spending the week contacting churches and such. People ask me if I'll go buy anything, go to parks, or whatever. I want to, and the temptation is there, but I need to remind myself that it will have to wait. However, my cousin convinced me to go to an amusement park this week (I'm assuming the PNE). All it took was "roller coaster"; I'm not even someone that really enjoys them.
I haven't been to Vancouver in two years, and there's always that anticipation from me that wonders what has changed to the place and the people I know. I know I've changed, so I guess it goes both ways.
Here's to hoping it's a very productive couple weeks for me; my immediate future could very well hinge on these next days.
Wednesday, July 2, 2014
The Unvealing
Man, it's July! What in the.. what?!
This is absolutely crazy, the fact that summer is suddenly in full fledge. I'm currently sitting in my room after spending a day being roasted by the sun - my face hurts. Our church is doing our soccer camps this week, and I've loved every minute of it. I miss working with AIA so much, so this really brings back the joy that I find when I get to play soccer with a bunch of kids all while telling them about God. In all honesty, if my summer and fall time wasn't so unstable and unpredictable, I probably would've wanted to coach again this summer. However, with the plans already set in place for this summer, I'm glad that I chose the path that I did. I probably won't ever get a chance to coach for AIA again, but I would push very hard, wherever I'm working, to get AIA to come to the church.
We also had our bi-annual summer camp this past weekend. To put it plainly, summer camp is just so great for us. I've never ever seen our group of people be so engaged in anything else than I have at summer camp. Add to the fact that I was on the worship team again (not actually leading - the first time in close to 10 years), I was front and center in seeing the response of everyone there. I absolutely loved this weekend. This camp was also probably the first time where there were more people I didn't know than ones I did. Ps. Neil is a fantastic speaker; he is so good at painting pictures for us to relate to. The way he spoke was simple and straight forward; everything had a purpose in the way he said it. I definitely took some notes and will be borrowing from the way he delivers.
So here's the two big news items that I've been keeping to myself for the past couple weeks.
I'm in talks with two churches to potentially become their English pastor. There are pros and cons to both. Both of the congregations are really small, but I'd rather work in a small church. The one I really want to go to, the downside, is that they're only looking for a part-time pastor. So when I go down to speak at Westwood Alliance's summer camp, I will be visiting the church to get a sense of where they're going. The other church is slightly bigger, and I'm also open to looking at potentially working there. I really hope I'm able to begin my career at one of these churches because I've been searching for almost half a year, and this was the first time where I found the job and thought to myself that I really want to do this. And, if it does end up being the part-time one, I don't think it's the biggest deal. Sure, living in Vancouver is way too expensive, and I probably wouldn't be able to afford to live there on my own with a part time job, but if God wills, he provides.
The other exciting thing that I mentioned last post banked on me getting a job by September. Circumstances lead to the opportunity for me to officiate my first wedding. Yep, so far I am tentatively going to be the officiator for Olivia and Chris' wedding in September. Crazy, right?! I can't even believe it. From what I've gathered so far, this wedding will be pretty stinkin' awesome, and for them to ask me to be a part of it in such a big role probably means as much to me as getting married does for them (okay, it doesn't, but it's close!). To be quite honest, I don't really know how I'm going to do the message part other than to look at what the Bible says because I'm freakin' single, dude. But that's not going to stop me from going all out on this; they deserve the best I that I have to offer.
That's about it! This was probably the most insight-packed, progress-made blog post I've had in a long while, so I hope that you, who are reading this, is as excited about life as I am. My life is about to change drastically in a matter of months, potentially weeks. It would be an honor if you joined me on this journey, even if only by reading my blog!
Anyways, time to hit the sack and get roasted by the sun some more tomorrow!
This is absolutely crazy, the fact that summer is suddenly in full fledge. I'm currently sitting in my room after spending a day being roasted by the sun - my face hurts. Our church is doing our soccer camps this week, and I've loved every minute of it. I miss working with AIA so much, so this really brings back the joy that I find when I get to play soccer with a bunch of kids all while telling them about God. In all honesty, if my summer and fall time wasn't so unstable and unpredictable, I probably would've wanted to coach again this summer. However, with the plans already set in place for this summer, I'm glad that I chose the path that I did. I probably won't ever get a chance to coach for AIA again, but I would push very hard, wherever I'm working, to get AIA to come to the church.
We also had our bi-annual summer camp this past weekend. To put it plainly, summer camp is just so great for us. I've never ever seen our group of people be so engaged in anything else than I have at summer camp. Add to the fact that I was on the worship team again (not actually leading - the first time in close to 10 years), I was front and center in seeing the response of everyone there. I absolutely loved this weekend. This camp was also probably the first time where there were more people I didn't know than ones I did. Ps. Neil is a fantastic speaker; he is so good at painting pictures for us to relate to. The way he spoke was simple and straight forward; everything had a purpose in the way he said it. I definitely took some notes and will be borrowing from the way he delivers.
So here's the two big news items that I've been keeping to myself for the past couple weeks.
I'm in talks with two churches to potentially become their English pastor. There are pros and cons to both. Both of the congregations are really small, but I'd rather work in a small church. The one I really want to go to, the downside, is that they're only looking for a part-time pastor. So when I go down to speak at Westwood Alliance's summer camp, I will be visiting the church to get a sense of where they're going. The other church is slightly bigger, and I'm also open to looking at potentially working there. I really hope I'm able to begin my career at one of these churches because I've been searching for almost half a year, and this was the first time where I found the job and thought to myself that I really want to do this. And, if it does end up being the part-time one, I don't think it's the biggest deal. Sure, living in Vancouver is way too expensive, and I probably wouldn't be able to afford to live there on my own with a part time job, but if God wills, he provides.
The other exciting thing that I mentioned last post banked on me getting a job by September. Circumstances lead to the opportunity for me to officiate my first wedding. Yep, so far I am tentatively going to be the officiator for Olivia and Chris' wedding in September. Crazy, right?! I can't even believe it. From what I've gathered so far, this wedding will be pretty stinkin' awesome, and for them to ask me to be a part of it in such a big role probably means as much to me as getting married does for them (okay, it doesn't, but it's close!). To be quite honest, I don't really know how I'm going to do the message part other than to look at what the Bible says because I'm freakin' single, dude. But that's not going to stop me from going all out on this; they deserve the best I that I have to offer.
That's about it! This was probably the most insight-packed, progress-made blog post I've had in a long while, so I hope that you, who are reading this, is as excited about life as I am. My life is about to change drastically in a matter of months, potentially weeks. It would be an honor if you joined me on this journey, even if only by reading my blog!
Anyways, time to hit the sack and get roasted by the sun some more tomorrow!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)