We often find ourselves at different points of our lives presented with different opportunities to help people who are in need. The society, the media, and publicity often paints the idea of helping people as this pretty sight that is supposed to make you "feel good" about what you're doing. The helper always says something about realizing the privileges that he/she has and how it's so nice to be able to give back.
Given the situation and how recent this has been placed at my doorstep, it would be inappropriate for me to go too into detail about it, so I'm going to remain vague about describing this experience I've had.
About mid-January, so a little over a month ago, I received a call from someone who was in desperate need of money. Due to the nature of the situation and the relationship, I think 99.9% of people would've dismissed it and turned down the opportunity to help. However, it was placed on my heart that we're supposed to help give to the poor and needy. After receiving the call, I explored what options we had to be able to help. There was an immediate sense of rejection all around; so while I understood why, it still upset me that we would have to be so guarded.
I felt the need to help this person, so I decided to act on my own accord because I can't sit here knowing that this could be a chance for someone to come to know Christ. So, as I am no Bill Gates in terms of financial stature, it pained me to know I'd be giving away a substantial amount of money not being 100% confident that it was going where I presumed it should be going.
What irks me even more is that after having given this person the money, I was essentially told that it wasn't a good idea to have done it. I'm fine with being careful and being measured in our approach to helping people, but when we try to assume so much control over the situation in order to act, it makes it seem so self-righteous. I mean, I guess money is important to a lot of people, perhaps even too important, but to have it to a point where we basically lord it over people and use it as power, you can count me out. I'm so thankful that God's helped me understand that money really isn't all-powerful like so many people make it out to be. Some people are more attached to their money than to their own lives.
The saddest thing is that people deceive themselves into thinking that by working hard and earning their money, they reserve the right to keep it and display it as a trophy to show people what they've done.
So from my point of view, I see so many people and so many areas of need, but where do our resources go? "Let's help ourselves first, and whatever we have left we'll give to others." That's where I see our money going. Tragedy. Then, when someone wants to actually do something for another in need, you have to grind through layers and layers of pathetic policies and politics just to get a "no."
Helping people doesn't need to be so difficult. There's no need to have a thorough audit of the situation just to make sure we're 100% confident that the aid is used appropriately. I'm not saying that we should just blindly throw away our money, but that is the ballpark I'm playing in. We're given resources so we can return it and put it to use, not to glorify ourselves. Nobody's going to come up to you and tell you, "Wow! You're such a great budgeter/planner! Our money had an efficiency rating of 100% for 2015!"
When the person called again last week, I felt sick to even have to think about whether or not it's worth the trouble to go through the process in trying to help this individual out again, just to get turned down from my request. If from getting to know this person I got the sense that the situation was a fraud, I'd have no problem saying no. But it's because it isn't that now I have to take all these ridiculous steps for myself before I even consider helping her on my own because that's what I'm told to do.
I'm just hoping that the hurt of helping people won't outweigh the cause of helping people. If it does, I'll know that I'll be on my knees for forgiveness.
Tuesday, February 23, 2016
Tuesday, February 9, 2016
Quarter Century
A big thanks to everyone who sent birthday wishes, and an even bigger thanks to those who have made an impact on my life up to this point. I think people often take for granted the turning of 25. Not everyone gets to turn the quarter century, so it makes me even more grateful for the years I have had. I'm glad that my parents taught me to be thankful, and it has come a long way in teaching me humility to know that every day I can wake up is because God has allowed me to. I will admit, though, that I haven't been very good at being thankful as of late, but these last few days have allowed me to re-align myself a bit.
I've hit another minor road bump over the last month-ish, lacking motivation and feeling lazy; but the difference I feel this time is that I know how to get out of it, I just have to do it. Easier said than done, of course. Haha.
Things have really picked up, and will continue to get busier as we're well underway in February. On top of sermon prep, I have to teach baptism class (which is an absolute joy and privilege), and also try to manage the Sunday school class I was teaching before. And then, I've also picked up several extra-curricular things on my plate, so I'm spending more time out and about. This will make me more tired, but in some ways I hope it refreshes me and keeps my life from going stale. We all know that when I get too comfortable, I get complacent and start to become ineffective.
One other thing I've been thinking about for a few months now is the unfolding and evolving of my call in ministry. You probably read in my last few posts, me mentioning that I'm trying to discover something or I'm looking for something. When I look back at my calling into ministry, I often told people that God told me to become a pastor. So when I got here, it sort of marked a finish line in one sense - I've gotten to where God directed me to go. I would tell people I don't really know what's next; maybe what I was supposed to do was just stay at a church and that was it.
However, I'm starting to see my calling evolve, or rather, unfold a little more. In one previous post, I talked about being a pastor not only in Newbern, but that there needed to be a universal aspect to doing church, and how I would lead/serve on a more universal scale. I'm starting to think this could be the start of a new revelation for me in terms of a focus area for my ministry.
And in the last few weeks, what's gone on during my days have reinforced this idea. A lot of my thoughts and studies have drifted to a broader sense of being a church that is on the move and isn't restricted to a building and its programs. So far, I have no idea how the zeroing in on this aspect of church life can manifest itself in a tangible and practical way of my life, but I suspect that I will find out in the near future. It may take a couple years, but I think this is a direction I am headed.
You can even see how in my sermons I'm starting to emphasize a church in motion, a church moving with purpose. So maybe the unfolding of this calling is already starting to take shape. Haha. As it says in Ephesians 4, it's all about equipping the saints to have unity of mind, unity in Christ, and unity in motion.
I've had the privilege to reach the quarter century mark. Let's see if I can manage another.
I've hit another minor road bump over the last month-ish, lacking motivation and feeling lazy; but the difference I feel this time is that I know how to get out of it, I just have to do it. Easier said than done, of course. Haha.
Things have really picked up, and will continue to get busier as we're well underway in February. On top of sermon prep, I have to teach baptism class (which is an absolute joy and privilege), and also try to manage the Sunday school class I was teaching before. And then, I've also picked up several extra-curricular things on my plate, so I'm spending more time out and about. This will make me more tired, but in some ways I hope it refreshes me and keeps my life from going stale. We all know that when I get too comfortable, I get complacent and start to become ineffective.
One other thing I've been thinking about for a few months now is the unfolding and evolving of my call in ministry. You probably read in my last few posts, me mentioning that I'm trying to discover something or I'm looking for something. When I look back at my calling into ministry, I often told people that God told me to become a pastor. So when I got here, it sort of marked a finish line in one sense - I've gotten to where God directed me to go. I would tell people I don't really know what's next; maybe what I was supposed to do was just stay at a church and that was it.
However, I'm starting to see my calling evolve, or rather, unfold a little more. In one previous post, I talked about being a pastor not only in Newbern, but that there needed to be a universal aspect to doing church, and how I would lead/serve on a more universal scale. I'm starting to think this could be the start of a new revelation for me in terms of a focus area for my ministry.
And in the last few weeks, what's gone on during my days have reinforced this idea. A lot of my thoughts and studies have drifted to a broader sense of being a church that is on the move and isn't restricted to a building and its programs. So far, I have no idea how the zeroing in on this aspect of church life can manifest itself in a tangible and practical way of my life, but I suspect that I will find out in the near future. It may take a couple years, but I think this is a direction I am headed.
You can even see how in my sermons I'm starting to emphasize a church in motion, a church moving with purpose. So maybe the unfolding of this calling is already starting to take shape. Haha. As it says in Ephesians 4, it's all about equipping the saints to have unity of mind, unity in Christ, and unity in motion.
I've had the privilege to reach the quarter century mark. Let's see if I can manage another.
Tuesday, February 2, 2016
Church Culture
Up to this point in my life, I've had the privilege of serving in some capacity in 5 different churches - Newbern being the 5th. Even though Newbern looks a lot like a couple of the other churches I've done ministry at, this experience has been totally new to me.
Before I get into it, I can't believe I just deleted the entire post I had written up so that I could write about church culture. I had spent the last half an hour writing on something else, but toward the end of it, I found that I had gravitated to talking about culture; and so it wasn't even related to the original topic anymore. I know it doesn't mean anything for you who are reading this, but it means a ton to me. Haha.
So, not only is it that it is I who technically heads up this gig at Newbern which makes it a different experience, I'm discovering what a drastically different church culture this is compared to what I'm used to. Now, in all honesty, I probably can't give you an accurate description of any of the cultures at my previous churches, given that it's been at least a few years since I've served regularly at them. But I've never felt like I had to put in so much effort to learning what the current state of the congregation is like. In other words, integration with me and my ministry into the churches were never too difficult. At Newbern, though, it's been a different experience.
For a while, I thought a lot of what I could improve on was a focus on me needing to cater to a smaller church. Two churches I've served at, CCBC and Assiniboia Alliance, are what most people would call small churches, but I didn't have too much trouble learning about the approach needed to minister to them. What I needed to do to get accustomed was pretty clear, albeit I had some awesome mentors and leaders who really spent time to help me learn about the group.
But even in the short time I've been at Newbern, I felt something wasn't quite right with what I was doing. The reception to many things I introduced or tested the waters with wasn't as smooth as what I thought it might be. So much of the uneasiness that I've felt, I think, actually comes from this lack of response or reception.
I'll be honest, I've never spent enough time at any church outside of NEAC to know what this lack of response would feel like. The closest I've come was spending 2 years at SGAC in Calgary, but I was in more of a supportive role than a lead.
And so while I thought much of what wasn't working was due to the small size of Newbern, I'm realizing that a lot of it also has to do with the culture and where the group is at spiritually. I want to credit CCBC and Assiniboia Alliance because while their group is very similar to Newbern, but they have some incredibly mature and godly people in that church. So maybe I let that predisposition affect the way I approached ministry here at Newbern, simply assuming that there would be a maturity level that is similar to that of CCBC's and Assiniboia Alliance's when I was there.
Comparing churches is the last things I should be doing, but it's a natural tendency to do it and it's also difficult for someone like me because I don't have much to draw on given my limited experience. So more often than not, I'll look to see how something was done elsewhere and try it out where I currently am. It's a mistake I make all the time. By doing so, my first 16 months at Newbern haven't been the greatest months I've seen in terms of my work and results. While it's not bad to consider what's been done elsewhere to implement it here, it becomes bad when I assume it will yield a similar result.
I feel bad for my group in Newbern because I made a bunch of assumptions without putting more emphasis on getting to know them better before I really started making a push for a bunch of things. I just kind of assumed that I'd have everything to work with, when that really isn't the case. Given confidentiality, I can't say much more, but I know I have work to do.
So I've kind of taken a fresh approach and mindset. It's hard to picture, given how small my group is, but I might need to prepare for it to get even smaller before it can grow again. I'm really not interested in putting a good program in so that the numbers will increase to make me look successful. I want to make disciples. And I know that some people won't like the things I say or do, some who might have been here for years even. In some ways, then, to put it frankly, I feel like I'm in a bit of a weeding process. I just hope that I'm thorough with it and don't let laziness or a half-assed job come back to bite me.
My prayer is that with this year, I can help Newbern redefine church culture. It's not just about being a group of friends anymore. We can be friends, but what are we doing in the world around us?
Before I get into it, I can't believe I just deleted the entire post I had written up so that I could write about church culture. I had spent the last half an hour writing on something else, but toward the end of it, I found that I had gravitated to talking about culture; and so it wasn't even related to the original topic anymore. I know it doesn't mean anything for you who are reading this, but it means a ton to me. Haha.
So, not only is it that it is I who technically heads up this gig at Newbern which makes it a different experience, I'm discovering what a drastically different church culture this is compared to what I'm used to. Now, in all honesty, I probably can't give you an accurate description of any of the cultures at my previous churches, given that it's been at least a few years since I've served regularly at them. But I've never felt like I had to put in so much effort to learning what the current state of the congregation is like. In other words, integration with me and my ministry into the churches were never too difficult. At Newbern, though, it's been a different experience.
For a while, I thought a lot of what I could improve on was a focus on me needing to cater to a smaller church. Two churches I've served at, CCBC and Assiniboia Alliance, are what most people would call small churches, but I didn't have too much trouble learning about the approach needed to minister to them. What I needed to do to get accustomed was pretty clear, albeit I had some awesome mentors and leaders who really spent time to help me learn about the group.
But even in the short time I've been at Newbern, I felt something wasn't quite right with what I was doing. The reception to many things I introduced or tested the waters with wasn't as smooth as what I thought it might be. So much of the uneasiness that I've felt, I think, actually comes from this lack of response or reception.
I'll be honest, I've never spent enough time at any church outside of NEAC to know what this lack of response would feel like. The closest I've come was spending 2 years at SGAC in Calgary, but I was in more of a supportive role than a lead.
And so while I thought much of what wasn't working was due to the small size of Newbern, I'm realizing that a lot of it also has to do with the culture and where the group is at spiritually. I want to credit CCBC and Assiniboia Alliance because while their group is very similar to Newbern, but they have some incredibly mature and godly people in that church. So maybe I let that predisposition affect the way I approached ministry here at Newbern, simply assuming that there would be a maturity level that is similar to that of CCBC's and Assiniboia Alliance's when I was there.
Comparing churches is the last things I should be doing, but it's a natural tendency to do it and it's also difficult for someone like me because I don't have much to draw on given my limited experience. So more often than not, I'll look to see how something was done elsewhere and try it out where I currently am. It's a mistake I make all the time. By doing so, my first 16 months at Newbern haven't been the greatest months I've seen in terms of my work and results. While it's not bad to consider what's been done elsewhere to implement it here, it becomes bad when I assume it will yield a similar result.
I feel bad for my group in Newbern because I made a bunch of assumptions without putting more emphasis on getting to know them better before I really started making a push for a bunch of things. I just kind of assumed that I'd have everything to work with, when that really isn't the case. Given confidentiality, I can't say much more, but I know I have work to do.
So I've kind of taken a fresh approach and mindset. It's hard to picture, given how small my group is, but I might need to prepare for it to get even smaller before it can grow again. I'm really not interested in putting a good program in so that the numbers will increase to make me look successful. I want to make disciples. And I know that some people won't like the things I say or do, some who might have been here for years even. In some ways, then, to put it frankly, I feel like I'm in a bit of a weeding process. I just hope that I'm thorough with it and don't let laziness or a half-assed job come back to bite me.
My prayer is that with this year, I can help Newbern redefine church culture. It's not just about being a group of friends anymore. We can be friends, but what are we doing in the world around us?
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