Intermission

Wow! What a week it has been.

Tonight has been the first night I've been able to breathe a little bit since last Wednesday. In the span of about a week, we've been able to go through a whole crazy barrage of festivities. My parents and my sister were able to make it back safely to Edmonton this evening; my brother will be staying with me until mid-July. But let's take it back to when it began.

Since the start of June, I got to see my cousin, Jon, a few times and it was pretty obvious he was getting more and more tense as the wedding drew near. As a pastor, he already had a huge load on his plate. And then to add a wedding on top of all that, I can see why it'd be chaotic.

From my perspective, I was excited and also a little nervous. I knew we were going to have a huge family reunion of sorts to celebrate this wedding, so I was anticipating the dinners and the gatherings that would've drained me to no end. On top of that, my little basement suite needed to accommodate for my parents and brother - good thing my sister wanted to stay with my cousin for most of the trip, or else I would've not had any room to do anything.

My family arrived early Thursday afternoon in Vancouver, and we headed over to the wedding venue for the rehearsal, and then to Jon's new place for the family dinner and tea ceremony. From seeing all the gatherings, all I can really say is that our family is freakin' big. Not everyone was present, and yet our side probably occupied 75% of the attendance. This is a sure sign to me that there is no way for any of us to have a small wedding because of the size of just our side of the family. I don't mind too much because we're close enough that we really wouldn't want to do it without each other, but man, it can be crazy.

So the wedding took place at the beautiful Brock House by Jericho Beach, and it was very nice. Jon wanted a wedding entourage instead of a traditional wedding party, so getting to walk up with all of us cousins was a blast and an honor. At my last wedding, I was the officiant, so I was stoked to be able to be on the other side this time. Overall, I loved the simplicity of the wedding. Everything went as planned (though Jon probably hoped the Ferarri would've started on first go) and we had a great time.

A few days later, and I'm back seeing that I need to work again. Straight up: being a pastor makes it nearly impossible to have a personal life. The cynical side of me almost thinks these extra curricular things are an inconvenience because it distracts me from my work. But you know what, I'm thankful that they pull me away because it keeps me sane.

So we've got about 10 days before we get to do part 2 and part 3 of the summer wedding shenanigans.  During this intermission, I'll have to do my best to cover all my bases before the weddings drag me aside again. I'm quite happy and thankful that my cousins are getting married. We're really starting to see the generation turn over and see our family move forward. It's been an incredible run, and to see us start to take that next step is a joy.

Time to focus.

All That I Long For

I didn't have much motivation to do anything today, so I ended up sitting in my office for a couple hours playing guitar and singing. It's been a long time since I've been able to do something like this; and I wonder why I don't do it more. It's been difficult for me to find opportunities to be filled and uplifted, so it's funny how it almost always comes back to my passion in life: music.

I had my Bible opened in front of me to 1 John, and the verse reads: "We love because he first loved us" (4:19). I was praying last night, crying out, really, about how I've been feeling rather empty lately. Maybe my lack of motivation today was a good thing, to put me in a spot where I was able to do something I love and make some music.

So I browsed through some older songs I used to sing when I lead worship regularly - yeah, I'm archaic like that. I got to my favorite one; and, after I had played it, I felt satisfied.

I don't really do this, but I will share the lyrics here for us to read and ponder

Beholding Your beauty

Is all that I long for

To worship you Jesus

Is my sole desire

 For this very heart

You have shaped for Your pleasure

Purposed to lift your name higher

Here in surrender

In pure adoration

I enter Your courts

With an offering of praise

I am Your servant

Come to bring you glory

As is fit for the works of Your hands

Now unto the Lamb

Who sits on the throne

Be glory and honour and praise

All of creation resounds with the song

Worship and praise Him

The Lord of lords

 The Spirit now living

And dwelling within me

Keep my eyes fixed

Ever on Jesus' face

Let not the things of this world

Ever sway me

I'll run 'til I finish the race

Now unto the Lamb

Who sits on the throne

Be glory and honour and praise

All of eternity echoes the song

Worship and praise Him

The Lord of lords

Holy Lord

You are holy

Jesus Christ

Is Lord

Now unto the Lamb

Who sits on the throne

Be glory and honour and praise

Call all the saints to join in the song

Worship and praise

The Lord of lords 

Reference of Time

I look at how a lot of kids are getting excited for summer, and it makes me miss that part of life. As kids growing up, your year is pretty defined by schooling; so whenever summer approached, it was always filled with excitement. Not going to lie, I do miss that feeling of freedom. Summer time meant no school, no homework, no real responsibilities, and it was more about having fun and relaxing. I never really did the summer job thing until post-secondary too, so I just ran around the house and fooled around all day. Haha.

Hearing the kids run around outside this time of day while I am stuck in an office is pretty frustrating. Also, for whatever reason, Vancouver feels really peaceful today. I'm guessing the weather has something to do with it, but it felt a lot like home.

Beginning life as a pastor really seems to just blend all of time together. I have a hard time figuring out what day of the week it is, or what's going on in the upcoming weeks, etc. My only real reference of time is typically Sunday. Every other day of the week just gets mashed and scrambled together.

Since everything just gets blurred, it's crazy to think that I'll be seeing my family next week. The first of three weddings will be taking place next Saturday, and it's going to be one crazy family reunion. I'm actually really excited, as this really allows me to take that pastor hat off for a little bit. I still have to work, but I think the celebration atmosphere will let me loosen up a little bit. In all honesty though, I think it's probably better if I allow my "pastor" life to slip into my personal life. I'm talking strictly in terms of how I carry myself and how I behave on a day-to-day basis. Being a pastor has forced me to be more disciplined as a Christian in general, and I think it's a great benefit of carrying that title. In helping shape others, I also get to shape myself to be able to grow.

With everything else, there isn't a whole lot to report on. I'm just grinding away at the tasks I have to do for the summer and in preparation for the Fall. I've been vision seeking over the last month or so, and I'm starting to get a much clearer picture of where things are to go with my church here in Vancouver. I was asked, not too long ago, on how long I plan to stay with this church. I haven't had to answer that question in a while, but I think what gives me the confidence in knowing I need to be here is that I still get excited for where we're going in terms of our ministry. I feel that as long as that excitement is there, I can keep going. I've spent so much time trying to build a foundation and infrastructure that it'd be a shame if I left before I even got to see it really start to grow. To be frank though, I don't even know why I have to answer that question when I'm not even a year into the ministry.

So there you have it. Apologies for a lame blog post, since I didn't really say much of anything. I saw that I haven't posted in a couple weeks, so I just wanted to drop a few lines.