Let's just say I made a questionable decision and played one more game than I should have. So I'm now sitting on my bed waiting for hair to dry once again. I felt pretty tired throughout the day, so I don't think it'll be hard for me to fall asleep tonight. Waking up, though, may be difficult especially since it's supposed to be raining again.
There are a lot of times where something comes across my mind, or something happens, that I wish I would've written down so I don't forget. Moments that I think to myself, "oh cool!" There were several of those over the last few days, but of course I was caught in the moment and didn't actually write it down. When I was in school, one of my profs emphasized that we carry around a WIDOLIF (Write It Down Or Lose It Forever) with us for these exact times. I had one with me throughout the latter stages of schooling and on my internship, but I became less interactive with the new notebook that I designated as my WIDOLIF since coming down to Vancouver. Hopefully this is a push to get me to start doing it consistently again.
Usually, the things that I write down are little notes and scribbles of words, phrases, ideas, thoughts, and simplistic measures that I can attribute to a certain thing that I'm doing or involved with. From these notes, there have been sermons, devos, and other sorts of cool things that I can use personally and professionally. If a certain bible verse pops out at me, I'll write it down. If an idea sprouts from a reading, I'll jot it down. If someone encourages me with words or actions, I'll write it down. The purpose of me carrying a WIDOLIF around is to take note of the little things that can amount to bigger things. By doing this, it's trained me in becoming much more attentive to details.
I'm writing about my little notebook, not because I've run out of things to write about, but to remind myself that these VERY THINGS that I wanted to take note of, so I could blog about it, are now lost forever in my mind because I've forgotten what they were! Lost in the hustle and bustle of my day off, I seem to have wiped my mind of the things I found cool and wanted to talk about in my blog. Awesome job, Ps Nathan!
In other news, the part of my brain that still functions, I had a decently productive week! I got to lead worship on Sunday and it was a blast this time. I had the same group of youth with me as I did the previous time I lead, but this time we were able to expand ourselves a little more, now that they've gotten their first time jitters out of the way. I caught one of the youth's dad standing in the baby room and looking through the window into the sanctuary as we sang our songs. I could just see the beaming smile he had on his face while he was singing along, so happy that he gets to witness his child take a step toward being involved in the church. That little spark of joy really warmed my heart. Although, I'm not too sure why he stood and worshipped in the baby room and not in the sanctuary. Maybe he didn't want to make it too obvious that he was watching.
For myself personally, I continue to seek out what it is I need to bring so that my congregation, especially the youth, can be able to realize the impact of the gospel in their lives. The essence of the gospel is so simple, and yet, for whatever reason, it's so difficult to help people realize what it means to them as individuals. Unfortunately, I do think that living in a society where we have too much plays a big factor. It's not a far cry to say that if there is something we want, it is literally obtainable within some sort of means that doesn't require you to die for it. So if we have all that we can dream of, then there's no space for God. Too bad. It sucks that the media and other organizations try to sell us this idea that we can achieve anything we dream of.
The last thing I'll talk about, I guess, is that I have been missing Edmonton over the last few days. Not sure what it was that washed into my mind, but I encountered a few things that reminded me of home, and I definitely felt the nostalgia. I love Vancouver, but I just don't think there will be a city that can replace Edmonton for me.
And finally, I just really want the weather to be warm and sunny so I can play soccer and go to the beach.
P.S. If I suddenly remember those things I wanted to talk about, I will talk about them in another post.
Tuesday, March 24, 2015
Tuesday, March 17, 2015
Carry On
Welcome back, once again.
As I'm winding down from my day off, ready to call it a night, I'll just write a little bit. I'm not sure what I have to say, but I thought today would be a good day to blog a bit. On a side note, though, I think it's healthy for everyone to write! Reading and writing have become such underappreciated skills in the midst of all this new age methodology that aid character development. Unfortunately with the "McDonaldization" of society, no one has time to sit down and read or write for long periods of time anymore. I have a good feeling that 80% of people who come across my blog would avoid reading my posts just based on their lengths. Goodbye attention spans of the next generation.
Anyways, I've had a couple of easier weeks here as I haven't had to preach since the first Sunday of March. So I've stepped back a bit from my work, and I'm not sure if that was a great idea. Haha. I'm feeling so lazy now that my overall production has dropped. The main reason for this is probably because I didn't plan out what I'd need to do during these couple of weeks. I knew what I needed to do, but getting to them just didn't work out. So a lot of my church work has been put off to the side, and I hope to pick it up this week. I have a lot of planning and preparation to do, so let's hope I kick myself in the butt to get things done.
Some of the things I need to do include making committees for a couple big events later in the year (summer camp and youth missions trip), finding a guest speaker for our summer camp, finding a vision for our children's ministries, and re-evaluating my preaching series. So far, I've done about 10% of all that. This week, my focus will likely be getting the committees and meetings set, then looking at my sermons.
The overall life in ministry has hit a plateau for myself. After the new year, things are now more or less stabalized and I'm seeing if everything works. I have a constant longing to try to help my teens experience the love of Christ in their lives. A few of them have said that their faith is slipping, and it pains me to hear that. At such critical points in their lives, I feel a huge burden of responsibility to create every avenue possible for them to see if it will steer them in the right direction. In the case that my youth walk away from God and the Church, I would probably feel a sense of failure on my part. I think the thought of this failure is currently my biggest fear. You get the thoughts of doubting that what you've done and implemented was not good enough to help them grow. As a pastor, this might be the biggest slap in the face. I'm sure I'll experience this at least a few times in my career to some degree, so it'll be interesting to see how I handle it.
A second concern that I will need to address sooner or later is the feeding of my own spiritual self. I think that this is something that I have been aware of since I took the position here at Newbern, so it is up to me to do everything I can to be fed. I've been searching, for sure, and exploring different possibilities. The only thing is I don't know how much of my investment into my work I can give up just so I can grow myself. If I'm not fed, I can't lead. I think this might be something I need to iron out and communicate with my senior. Let's just hope the language barrier doesn't hinder understanding.
In other news, I went out today and bought myself a couple of clothing items. Rarely do I ever feel good about buying extra things when I don't really have the finances to do so, but for whatever reason I felt so much joy when I walked out of the store today. Normally, I feel like doo doo when I spend money. Maybe because I bought the blazer that I've been looking such a long time for. It fits awesome too! Let me tell you, finding clothes to fit me is impossible here in North America. I'm just too skinny. How many grown men do you know that wear a size 34R or a 36S in a jacket? But the point here is that I felt awesome buying the blazer along with a couple other sale items. Retail therapy - my favorite kind of stress relief.
Speaking of therapy, last week I bought a video game called Cities: Skylines, where it's a simulation game basically like Sim City, but infinitely better. In a week, I've spent a lot of my time blocks that weren't alotted to working in playing this game. Creating and building my own "empire" in the form of a city is one of the most theraputic things I've ever done. It feels awesome and full of relief that I can make a city that I call mine - much like an artist's painting or a musician's song. It feels great! I am definitely going to use this game to relieve stress in the times that I need it.
So, that's that. The weather is crummy again this week, but hopefully it passes quickly because I'm really looking forward to sunshine and (even) warmer weather.
As I'm winding down from my day off, ready to call it a night, I'll just write a little bit. I'm not sure what I have to say, but I thought today would be a good day to blog a bit. On a side note, though, I think it's healthy for everyone to write! Reading and writing have become such underappreciated skills in the midst of all this new age methodology that aid character development. Unfortunately with the "McDonaldization" of society, no one has time to sit down and read or write for long periods of time anymore. I have a good feeling that 80% of people who come across my blog would avoid reading my posts just based on their lengths. Goodbye attention spans of the next generation.
Anyways, I've had a couple of easier weeks here as I haven't had to preach since the first Sunday of March. So I've stepped back a bit from my work, and I'm not sure if that was a great idea. Haha. I'm feeling so lazy now that my overall production has dropped. The main reason for this is probably because I didn't plan out what I'd need to do during these couple of weeks. I knew what I needed to do, but getting to them just didn't work out. So a lot of my church work has been put off to the side, and I hope to pick it up this week. I have a lot of planning and preparation to do, so let's hope I kick myself in the butt to get things done.
Some of the things I need to do include making committees for a couple big events later in the year (summer camp and youth missions trip), finding a guest speaker for our summer camp, finding a vision for our children's ministries, and re-evaluating my preaching series. So far, I've done about 10% of all that. This week, my focus will likely be getting the committees and meetings set, then looking at my sermons.
The overall life in ministry has hit a plateau for myself. After the new year, things are now more or less stabalized and I'm seeing if everything works. I have a constant longing to try to help my teens experience the love of Christ in their lives. A few of them have said that their faith is slipping, and it pains me to hear that. At such critical points in their lives, I feel a huge burden of responsibility to create every avenue possible for them to see if it will steer them in the right direction. In the case that my youth walk away from God and the Church, I would probably feel a sense of failure on my part. I think the thought of this failure is currently my biggest fear. You get the thoughts of doubting that what you've done and implemented was not good enough to help them grow. As a pastor, this might be the biggest slap in the face. I'm sure I'll experience this at least a few times in my career to some degree, so it'll be interesting to see how I handle it.
A second concern that I will need to address sooner or later is the feeding of my own spiritual self. I think that this is something that I have been aware of since I took the position here at Newbern, so it is up to me to do everything I can to be fed. I've been searching, for sure, and exploring different possibilities. The only thing is I don't know how much of my investment into my work I can give up just so I can grow myself. If I'm not fed, I can't lead. I think this might be something I need to iron out and communicate with my senior. Let's just hope the language barrier doesn't hinder understanding.
In other news, I went out today and bought myself a couple of clothing items. Rarely do I ever feel good about buying extra things when I don't really have the finances to do so, but for whatever reason I felt so much joy when I walked out of the store today. Normally, I feel like doo doo when I spend money. Maybe because I bought the blazer that I've been looking such a long time for. It fits awesome too! Let me tell you, finding clothes to fit me is impossible here in North America. I'm just too skinny. How many grown men do you know that wear a size 34R or a 36S in a jacket? But the point here is that I felt awesome buying the blazer along with a couple other sale items. Retail therapy - my favorite kind of stress relief.
Speaking of therapy, last week I bought a video game called Cities: Skylines, where it's a simulation game basically like Sim City, but infinitely better. In a week, I've spent a lot of my time blocks that weren't alotted to working in playing this game. Creating and building my own "empire" in the form of a city is one of the most theraputic things I've ever done. It feels awesome and full of relief that I can make a city that I call mine - much like an artist's painting or a musician's song. It feels great! I am definitely going to use this game to relieve stress in the times that I need it.
So, that's that. The weather is crummy again this week, but hopefully it passes quickly because I'm really looking forward to sunshine and (even) warmer weather.
Monday, March 2, 2015
The Day Off
A side project that I've had going on is a bit of a dorky one. It's not exactly dorky in itself, but the way that I approach it makes it somewhat dorky. I think this is the most frequent use of the word "dorky" in the span of two sentences I have ever had in my entire life. Dorky.
The project is a work in progress, but I'm trying to craft my own version of "the pastor's day off." As a pastor, you're never really off work. Even in the traditional church, where they strongly prefer you to have fixed office hours, just because I'm not at church doesn't mean I'm not working. So with that being said, it's very rare to have any time off. Whenever I do get to my day off, it is very hard to keep my mind off work. Since my work is essentially my life, even my time off is spent thinking about my work when I am looking after other things.
What I'm continuing in trying to do is to see how exactly I want to spend my day off. In the ideal world, I would just stay at home and watch videos/movies or play games all day. But because I'm now an "adult," I have these things called responsibilities, I think. So while watching videos/movies or playing games would be perfect in getting my mind off of work, it's not exactly practical when I have a lot of things to take care of.
I've tried "eventful day" scenario where I would go to a coffee shop in the morning, do some shopping and eat lunch in the afternoon, and then come home after supper to watch a movie. So basically, I'm spending my day out and about. I'm not doing work, but I still find it rather draining. However, it has also been good because of the fact I'm new to Vancouver. This allows me to get to know the city and see what the people do here. The downside is definitely that I'm expending a lot of energy to do these things. So I end up not feeling rested at all.
Then there's the polar opposite, where I do indeed sleep in until 11:00am, get up and make a cup of tea. I'll then sit in front of the computer for an hour or so to read news and catch up on some videos. And by the time I'm done, it's probably ~3:00pm, right at the start of rush hour. So I think to myself that there's no point in going out anymore, and continue mindlessly surfing the internet. Eventually, most of my friends get home from school or work and I'll start to talk to them, killing more time. One rule I have no matter what is that I'll eat out on my day off. So I'll go somewhere to grab supper anytime between 6:30-8:00pm. Usually, it depends when I get hungry. After I get home from supper, I'm probably going to play some games, and then go back to surfing the web. So these types of days, I feel "rested," but I am literally not productive whatsoever. Not ideal either.
I'm not sure if there is an in between - meaning I haven't found the balance - that would get me the best of both worlds. I've tried going out to run errands and doing whatever in the morning and early afternoon, and then coming home for the rest of the day. I guess it works alright; but I still don't really feel like anything is different from a regular work day. There's something about my mind and body that recognizes routines of "leaving in the morning, coming home in the afternoon" that kicks in to make me think I'm working. Maybe that's just the nature of life and I need to get used to it.
Anyways, I continue to try out different things to make my day off meaningful and not just a "chores day" or an "errands day" where it's just me doing the stuff that gets put in the "other" category.
If you really want to know my answer to a meaningful day off though, it's quite simple. Once the temperature is warm enough, I don't have to think about anything. You know I'll be at the beach with a book and a cold beverage. I'll probably also have a notebook and my camera with me. I'll spend the afternoon there, then grab supper before heading home for the evening. That's what the real day off will be.
Can't wait for the #beachmondays!
The project is a work in progress, but I'm trying to craft my own version of "the pastor's day off." As a pastor, you're never really off work. Even in the traditional church, where they strongly prefer you to have fixed office hours, just because I'm not at church doesn't mean I'm not working. So with that being said, it's very rare to have any time off. Whenever I do get to my day off, it is very hard to keep my mind off work. Since my work is essentially my life, even my time off is spent thinking about my work when I am looking after other things.
What I'm continuing in trying to do is to see how exactly I want to spend my day off. In the ideal world, I would just stay at home and watch videos/movies or play games all day. But because I'm now an "adult," I have these things called responsibilities, I think. So while watching videos/movies or playing games would be perfect in getting my mind off of work, it's not exactly practical when I have a lot of things to take care of.
I've tried "eventful day" scenario where I would go to a coffee shop in the morning, do some shopping and eat lunch in the afternoon, and then come home after supper to watch a movie. So basically, I'm spending my day out and about. I'm not doing work, but I still find it rather draining. However, it has also been good because of the fact I'm new to Vancouver. This allows me to get to know the city and see what the people do here. The downside is definitely that I'm expending a lot of energy to do these things. So I end up not feeling rested at all.
Then there's the polar opposite, where I do indeed sleep in until 11:00am, get up and make a cup of tea. I'll then sit in front of the computer for an hour or so to read news and catch up on some videos. And by the time I'm done, it's probably ~3:00pm, right at the start of rush hour. So I think to myself that there's no point in going out anymore, and continue mindlessly surfing the internet. Eventually, most of my friends get home from school or work and I'll start to talk to them, killing more time. One rule I have no matter what is that I'll eat out on my day off. So I'll go somewhere to grab supper anytime between 6:30-8:00pm. Usually, it depends when I get hungry. After I get home from supper, I'm probably going to play some games, and then go back to surfing the web. So these types of days, I feel "rested," but I am literally not productive whatsoever. Not ideal either.
I'm not sure if there is an in between - meaning I haven't found the balance - that would get me the best of both worlds. I've tried going out to run errands and doing whatever in the morning and early afternoon, and then coming home for the rest of the day. I guess it works alright; but I still don't really feel like anything is different from a regular work day. There's something about my mind and body that recognizes routines of "leaving in the morning, coming home in the afternoon" that kicks in to make me think I'm working. Maybe that's just the nature of life and I need to get used to it.
Anyways, I continue to try out different things to make my day off meaningful and not just a "chores day" or an "errands day" where it's just me doing the stuff that gets put in the "other" category.
If you really want to know my answer to a meaningful day off though, it's quite simple. Once the temperature is warm enough, I don't have to think about anything. You know I'll be at the beach with a book and a cold beverage. I'll probably also have a notebook and my camera with me. I'll spend the afternoon there, then grab supper before heading home for the evening. That's what the real day off will be.
Can't wait for the #beachmondays!
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