On one hand, it's quite awesome that January is coming to an end; on the other, January is almost over?!
The first couple of weeks, as I've mentioned, were pretty difficult to get back into a school type of routine. All in all, it probably wasn't as difficult as when I first started here at Ambrose in the Fall of 2010, especially after having taken an entire year off.
I think that I'm back in the hang of things now that the semester is pretty much in full swing. I have a book review due tomorrow already! There's just far too many books and articles that I have to read this term. When you think about it though, it makes sense, considering the fact that this is likely my last semester of fulltime schooling.
... Which, by the way, still has me up on ends about getting my career going. I spent a good amount of time thinking about many scenarios that I could end up in - actual scenario would be one where I was recommended by our school field education coordinator to Emmanual Alliance Church of Ottawa. The position is a youth/young adults pastor. Though, from reading most of the description, it's primarily a youth pastor.
I probably have made this quite clear over the years that I don't want to be a youth pastor. But, this time around, I'm doing my best to be open to the possibility; I'm even taking an intro to youth ministry's course, for crying out loud.
Perhaps it's just me somewhat coming to terms that I'm going to have to seriously look at being a youth pastor that's made me warm up to the idea slightly. I really enjoy this process, though, because I still get to continue pursuing what my calling really is.
In the end, I can say, with at least an alright amount of confidence, that I've been blessed to have a choice. This means that if I want to be a youth pastor, that God will honor it and help me in that role. However, I still need to caution myself to not jump straight at a position that's offered to me because it could very well turn in a hurry. I know that with my personality and preferences, I'd rather not work with youth. So if this comes up during my time as a potential youth pastor, I could be exposed really fast. What that means is that my role as a pastor could very quickly become a "job" or "duty" rather than a passion that's from my heart.
So if you're wondering if I will apply for that position in Ottawa, what I've said so far is basically what my thoughts are. I could apply for it, and I need to remain sensitive to their deadlines, but I'm going to stay true to the passions that I've developed thus far into my life. And who knows, I might very well develop a passion for youth after trying to rethink myself from taking this class and getting a new perspective on youth ministry.
Unfortunately, this leaves my education in the backburner yet again. I'm trying so hard to focus on my studies, but being so close just leaves me over eager and wanting to get going. I get so excited at the prospect of me being able to have my own place to live and working in a church. I see so many growing pains and so many challenges ahead, but I think that's exactly why I am so stoked to move forward.
Well, this serves, again, as a reminder to myself that I shouldn't get ahead of myself.
Monday, January 27, 2014
Monday, January 13, 2014
Re-adjusting
I feel like I do this at the beginning of every term, so I'm going to continue doing it. I don't know for sure, but I'm too lazy to go check that I've made this kind of post at the start of my past seven semesters or whatever.
Now that we're a week in, and I've attended all my classes at least once, I like to write down my first impressions of them. On top of that, I usually ramble on about how I hate the caf food, and how living in res is something that will help me, blah blah blah.
The first thing that I've had to readjust to is that I actually have access to a lot of places that will have what I'm looking for. Mainly in the groceries, even though I don't have to buy a lot now, what I want would be found at a Superstore, Safeway, Sobeys, etc. (Why do so many grocery stores start with an 'S'?) During my time in Assiniboia, I had to make do with a limited amount of resources. I never found it worth driving all the way to Moose Jaw just to get a certain thing that I wanted, so I didn't. Now, if I wanted a really particular type of chips, a specific kind of ethnic food or something, I could drive a few blocks and get it. Still not quite adjusted back to the resources provided by a city yet.
Although, I have made a couple trips to the mall already. I haven't bought anything yet, but I'm scoping it out! To be honest, though, I really shouldn't buy anything as I'm quite poor. However, the thought that I won't be owing school fees anymore is quite strange. Rather, I'll be looking at cars, paying rent, etc. I actually find it really cool!
So I have five classes for my last term. One of my five classes is a one week mod that will happen during Reading Week. So in essence, I only have to keep up with work for four classes. Of the four classes, only two of them are highly intellectual, so I think I'll be okay. Not to say that English or Foundations of Youth Ministry aren't intellectual, they just won't require as much thought and effort given the level of the course and such.
Strangely enough, the Gospel of Mark and Contemporary Theology are the two 8:15am classes that I have. JUST GREAT! The two harder classes are also slotted at a time where it should be illegal to be awake.
So here are my brief thoughts:
Contemporary Theology - I'm very excited about this class. We basically talk about the popular modern theologians (such as Barth, Boenhoffer, etc.) that have shaped 20th and 21st century theology. These types of classes I never do that well on, but they help me think a lot and work really hard.
Gospel of Mark - I haven't really taken any course on a New Testament book, so this one fits in nicely. It was either Mark or Psalms; and Psalms is during my English class, so it was an easy choice. The prof isn't the best prof, though he's a cool guy, so I'm going to have to pay more attention.
Foundations of Youth Min. - I am so stoked about this class mainly because of the prof. Matt isn't a regular prof at this school, but from the one class I've had with him, I know he's going to be amazing at speaking into our lives. He's one of those profs that don't really seem like they're teaching when they lecture. He speaks truth and is passionate about it: a great combination.
Representative Literature Since the Reformation - Even through two classes, I've had to remind myself, "this isn't theology?" That basically sums it up. I'm not sure why I waited til my final term to take a senior level English course; but I did, so I have to live with it. When the prof mentioned Frankenstein the first time, I was so confused as to why that name would pop up because I couldn't link it with any of the theological terms I had scanning through my brain. Well, let's just leave it at that.
Transition Into Ministry - This is my one week mod, basically a post-internship course that helps us cap off our degree. This will be taught by my favorite prof, so it will be fine with me that I have to miss Reading Week for the class.
So this is my final term of my undergrad. It's hard to believe that four years ago, at this time, I was just finalizing my application process for getting into Ambrose. I started in the Fall of 2010, and now I'm just about done. I don't think I have ever thought I'd come this far, even when I was a kid with crazy imagination. But, I'm incredibly excited and eager to get "real life" started. I am looking forward to getting out there and really find out who I am - I can already see it.
Now that we're a week in, and I've attended all my classes at least once, I like to write down my first impressions of them. On top of that, I usually ramble on about how I hate the caf food, and how living in res is something that will help me, blah blah blah.
The first thing that I've had to readjust to is that I actually have access to a lot of places that will have what I'm looking for. Mainly in the groceries, even though I don't have to buy a lot now, what I want would be found at a Superstore, Safeway, Sobeys, etc. (Why do so many grocery stores start with an 'S'?) During my time in Assiniboia, I had to make do with a limited amount of resources. I never found it worth driving all the way to Moose Jaw just to get a certain thing that I wanted, so I didn't. Now, if I wanted a really particular type of chips, a specific kind of ethnic food or something, I could drive a few blocks and get it. Still not quite adjusted back to the resources provided by a city yet.
Although, I have made a couple trips to the mall already. I haven't bought anything yet, but I'm scoping it out! To be honest, though, I really shouldn't buy anything as I'm quite poor. However, the thought that I won't be owing school fees anymore is quite strange. Rather, I'll be looking at cars, paying rent, etc. I actually find it really cool!
So I have five classes for my last term. One of my five classes is a one week mod that will happen during Reading Week. So in essence, I only have to keep up with work for four classes. Of the four classes, only two of them are highly intellectual, so I think I'll be okay. Not to say that English or Foundations of Youth Ministry aren't intellectual, they just won't require as much thought and effort given the level of the course and such.
Strangely enough, the Gospel of Mark and Contemporary Theology are the two 8:15am classes that I have. JUST GREAT! The two harder classes are also slotted at a time where it should be illegal to be awake.
So here are my brief thoughts:
Contemporary Theology - I'm very excited about this class. We basically talk about the popular modern theologians (such as Barth, Boenhoffer, etc.) that have shaped 20th and 21st century theology. These types of classes I never do that well on, but they help me think a lot and work really hard.
Gospel of Mark - I haven't really taken any course on a New Testament book, so this one fits in nicely. It was either Mark or Psalms; and Psalms is during my English class, so it was an easy choice. The prof isn't the best prof, though he's a cool guy, so I'm going to have to pay more attention.
Foundations of Youth Min. - I am so stoked about this class mainly because of the prof. Matt isn't a regular prof at this school, but from the one class I've had with him, I know he's going to be amazing at speaking into our lives. He's one of those profs that don't really seem like they're teaching when they lecture. He speaks truth and is passionate about it: a great combination.
Representative Literature Since the Reformation - Even through two classes, I've had to remind myself, "this isn't theology?" That basically sums it up. I'm not sure why I waited til my final term to take a senior level English course; but I did, so I have to live with it. When the prof mentioned Frankenstein the first time, I was so confused as to why that name would pop up because I couldn't link it with any of the theological terms I had scanning through my brain. Well, let's just leave it at that.
Transition Into Ministry - This is my one week mod, basically a post-internship course that helps us cap off our degree. This will be taught by my favorite prof, so it will be fine with me that I have to miss Reading Week for the class.
So this is my final term of my undergrad. It's hard to believe that four years ago, at this time, I was just finalizing my application process for getting into Ambrose. I started in the Fall of 2010, and now I'm just about done. I don't think I have ever thought I'd come this far, even when I was a kid with crazy imagination. But, I'm incredibly excited and eager to get "real life" started. I am looking forward to getting out there and really find out who I am - I can already see it.
Wednesday, January 8, 2014
Second Guesses?
Preemptive, but I'm wondering if I made a mistake in coming back to res. I don't really have much to say. It's not like I'm generations older, but the age gap and difference in maturity level is really evident. I normally would chalk things up to being a difference in personality; but this time around, I just really don't find a lot of the things that these people do funny or interesting in the least - some of it even repulsive.
Or maybe it's true: I've matured.
I think the main thing for when I first moved into res was that I knew it was going to be good for me to get the exposure to getting used to living with different types of people. At that point in my life, it was necessary, so I was able to at least mentally prepare myself and be up for it.
This time around, I just throw a lot of the first and second year students into the same category as the youth I see at church. Therefore, I really don't want much to do with them. Yeah, there are exceptions in some of them being incredible people, but there's always going to be the few that are just brats. What they find amusing or entertaining just don't appeal to me whatsoever. They are probably in the same position I was in when I moved in, so I need to understand that.
I really wanted to do well academically for my final semester of my undergrad, and it just isn't ideal to have the space, privacy, and time to do that while living on residence.
Oh well. I know that it's more on me to make the best out of this situation, and I might have to. Maybe it'll be on me to be a role model to these kids to show them what living a strong life might look like. As weird as it is for the guys on this floor to randomly have me come back in January, and for my roommate to have me around, it's just as weird for me to come back to this situation. So the best thing is probably just to meet halfway until we're back to our routines.
Not entirely sure if this really means anything to anyone other than me, but coming back to res this term is a lot like going back to YC after having been for many years and then taking one off. All in all, it just feels weird and you realize that you've grown out of it, that you're not really the target audience anymore. This describes how I feel pretty accurately.
So what am I going to do so that, not only do I not second guess my decision to come back to res, but to be glad that I did?
Or maybe it's true: I've matured.
I think the main thing for when I first moved into res was that I knew it was going to be good for me to get the exposure to getting used to living with different types of people. At that point in my life, it was necessary, so I was able to at least mentally prepare myself and be up for it.
This time around, I just throw a lot of the first and second year students into the same category as the youth I see at church. Therefore, I really don't want much to do with them. Yeah, there are exceptions in some of them being incredible people, but there's always going to be the few that are just brats. What they find amusing or entertaining just don't appeal to me whatsoever. They are probably in the same position I was in when I moved in, so I need to understand that.
I really wanted to do well academically for my final semester of my undergrad, and it just isn't ideal to have the space, privacy, and time to do that while living on residence.
Oh well. I know that it's more on me to make the best out of this situation, and I might have to. Maybe it'll be on me to be a role model to these kids to show them what living a strong life might look like. As weird as it is for the guys on this floor to randomly have me come back in January, and for my roommate to have me around, it's just as weird for me to come back to this situation. So the best thing is probably just to meet halfway until we're back to our routines.
Not entirely sure if this really means anything to anyone other than me, but coming back to res this term is a lot like going back to YC after having been for many years and then taking one off. All in all, it just feels weird and you realize that you've grown out of it, that you're not really the target audience anymore. This describes how I feel pretty accurately.
So what am I going to do so that, not only do I not second guess my decision to come back to res, but to be glad that I did?
Monday, January 6, 2014
Final Semester
Remind me why I decided to live in res again?
Going from basically having my own place (neither Conner nor I were home all that much, and not always at the same time, so it was "my place" a lot of the times) to being back in a dorm is quite the difference. I can't say that I really enjoy living on residence, it's just more convenient. Convenience is about the only reason why I'm here I think. So I guess I can't really complain too much about privacy, noise, food, and whatever else.
Instead of commuting, I can walk across the yard in my flip flops to school. I don't have to cook my meals; though, you could argue I'm better off cooking with the meals they serve here. And, I am more plugged into what's happening in the school. Even though I don't really get too involved with many things, it's nice to keep tabs.
Classes begin on Wednesday. It's going to be a rough term with 8am classes everyday - tough classes too. I'm excited to be done school for the near future. I know I sound like a broken record, but I've been saying that I've been done with school for the last two or three years; and I can finally say that it's coming close to that.
Let's see what I make of this semester. Though I don't mind the schooling too much, it's not something that brings a whole lot of joy. So coming from pretty much the best seven months of my life to something that's rather 'meh' to me, it will be interesting to see how I handle it. At the very least, I want to be pretty dedicated to my studies. All the socializing, getting involved and whatever is going to come more as an after thought to me. Part of the reason I want it being so is because I want to continue developing the good habits and daily routines of my life. I'm not amazing at it, but I was able to get my groove on pretty good in Saskatchewan; and even during my time at home, I was able to feed my soul the way it needed to be fed.
So, for those that have begun classes or have gone back to work, I hope that the first day was a good one. I have a feeling this year will be a huge building block for many of us, and that usually means one thing: you'll get out of 2014 what you put into it. So don't be lazy and don't slack off!
Good luck! (=
Going from basically having my own place (neither Conner nor I were home all that much, and not always at the same time, so it was "my place" a lot of the times) to being back in a dorm is quite the difference. I can't say that I really enjoy living on residence, it's just more convenient. Convenience is about the only reason why I'm here I think. So I guess I can't really complain too much about privacy, noise, food, and whatever else.
Instead of commuting, I can walk across the yard in my flip flops to school. I don't have to cook my meals; though, you could argue I'm better off cooking with the meals they serve here. And, I am more plugged into what's happening in the school. Even though I don't really get too involved with many things, it's nice to keep tabs.
Classes begin on Wednesday. It's going to be a rough term with 8am classes everyday - tough classes too. I'm excited to be done school for the near future. I know I sound like a broken record, but I've been saying that I've been done with school for the last two or three years; and I can finally say that it's coming close to that.
Let's see what I make of this semester. Though I don't mind the schooling too much, it's not something that brings a whole lot of joy. So coming from pretty much the best seven months of my life to something that's rather 'meh' to me, it will be interesting to see how I handle it. At the very least, I want to be pretty dedicated to my studies. All the socializing, getting involved and whatever is going to come more as an after thought to me. Part of the reason I want it being so is because I want to continue developing the good habits and daily routines of my life. I'm not amazing at it, but I was able to get my groove on pretty good in Saskatchewan; and even during my time at home, I was able to feed my soul the way it needed to be fed.
So, for those that have begun classes or have gone back to work, I hope that the first day was a good one. I have a feeling this year will be a huge building block for many of us, and that usually means one thing: you'll get out of 2014 what you put into it. So don't be lazy and don't slack off!
Good luck! (=
Wednesday, January 1, 2014
Watch This
Merry Christmas and Happy New Years to everyone who follows my blog! .. And to everyone else too, I guess. Haha.
The year of 2013 has been an absolute blessing for me to have been a part of. All the lessons I've learned, all the things in life I had the privilege of seeing and experiencing, and anything else that's brought joy or pain to me have contributed greatly to building the person I am - and I am grateful.
This was probably the first year where I never really had any time to rest. Everytime I had come home for a couple weeks, whether to take a break or to wait until it was time to leave again, they haven't been all that restful. By the time I was able to relax, it was time to think about what's next.
While I spent 8 calendar months in Assiniboia, I think my entire year can be summed up by one picture. From my winter term, in trying new things, to living in new places and learning independency, there is one visual image that is engrained into my brain that reminds me of why I'm here and why I do what I do.
Imagine this: you've just accomplished something significant in your life, you are standing at the front on a stage, you're absolutely overwhelmed by emotions, and every single person in the room is standing up and clapping for you as you walk off. What a scene, don't you think? We see this a lot on TV and in movies, but we usually have no clue the significance of it until you're actually there as one of the parties or emotionally attached to the situation.
Every picture or capture of an image tells a story. So the reason this visual means so much to me isn't about me basking in all my glory, it's more about how I got there. If you simply went off the basis of this one picture to draw conclusions of how I view myself, then I'm probably just a proud SOB full of myself. So you'll have to listen to the story.
I already talked about my story about the student loans and love offering, and this is just an expansion of that story. Throughout the last couple years, I've been waiting. I've been waiting to see where God would take me, how he would use me. Because I've been nearing the end of my education, there's been chances for me to think about "what's next." I've been working really hard to be absolutely dependent on God, looking to him to see what sort of places and opportunities would give me the best chance at growing; and every time I've had an opinion or something, or shortened my sight a bit, God basically replies with, "watch this."
At school, I didn't think I'd ever be able to be comfortable or open up myself to the people I saw everyday beyond what I had already established as a reputation. God said, "watch this."
I thought that, if it was up to me and I got to choose where I wanted to work after I graduated, it would be realisitic for me to do my internship in BC to try to emulate what might be close to what I'd work with so I can get a good feel for a church there - a best case sceneario. God said, "watch this."
So comes my internship, spending a lot of time trying to find out what I could learn from a small church in a small town in Saskatchewan. God said, "watch this."
Then is the student loans story where you can read two posts down.
Here is where I digress a little bit. Generally speaking, every time I've come home from school for a break or something, I've been very disappointed with my home church and how the state of its spirituality was struggling and not looking up at all. I've been rather worried about where our church was headed due to questionable leadership and an unclear vision. Coming back this time, though, I've seen and heard of some incredibly encouraging things that have my hopes back up for our church. I'm very pleased to see a group of people basically take responsibility and carry the work of the Lord on their backs, saying no to the temptations of letting the state of the church continue to snowball into oblivion. I didn't think it could happen so quickly and with the current leadership. God said, "watch this."
Going into 2014, I'm feeling very encouraged. I'm still scared of what's ahead, but I've already seen what God can and will do so long as I keep my focus and trust in him. If we are real with God, surrendering ourselves completely to him, he will take us to that front of the stage, having people stand and clap, recognizing how good he is to those who are faithful. The feeling is like none other: of absolute humility, in complete awe, unable to comprehend all that's happened, in wonder of why God would bless us so abundantly.
I always wonder why God is so good to me. There are so many people that are much more deserving of the blessings that seem to always end up on my lap; but with it being so, it just motivates me and pushes me to continue pursuing Christ because he has given me life. I pray that my expectations for 2014 will be blown out of the water in the same way they were for 2013.
Happy New Years.
The year of 2013 has been an absolute blessing for me to have been a part of. All the lessons I've learned, all the things in life I had the privilege of seeing and experiencing, and anything else that's brought joy or pain to me have contributed greatly to building the person I am - and I am grateful.
This was probably the first year where I never really had any time to rest. Everytime I had come home for a couple weeks, whether to take a break or to wait until it was time to leave again, they haven't been all that restful. By the time I was able to relax, it was time to think about what's next.
While I spent 8 calendar months in Assiniboia, I think my entire year can be summed up by one picture. From my winter term, in trying new things, to living in new places and learning independency, there is one visual image that is engrained into my brain that reminds me of why I'm here and why I do what I do.
Imagine this: you've just accomplished something significant in your life, you are standing at the front on a stage, you're absolutely overwhelmed by emotions, and every single person in the room is standing up and clapping for you as you walk off. What a scene, don't you think? We see this a lot on TV and in movies, but we usually have no clue the significance of it until you're actually there as one of the parties or emotionally attached to the situation.
Every picture or capture of an image tells a story. So the reason this visual means so much to me isn't about me basking in all my glory, it's more about how I got there. If you simply went off the basis of this one picture to draw conclusions of how I view myself, then I'm probably just a proud SOB full of myself. So you'll have to listen to the story.
I already talked about my story about the student loans and love offering, and this is just an expansion of that story. Throughout the last couple years, I've been waiting. I've been waiting to see where God would take me, how he would use me. Because I've been nearing the end of my education, there's been chances for me to think about "what's next." I've been working really hard to be absolutely dependent on God, looking to him to see what sort of places and opportunities would give me the best chance at growing; and every time I've had an opinion or something, or shortened my sight a bit, God basically replies with, "watch this."
At school, I didn't think I'd ever be able to be comfortable or open up myself to the people I saw everyday beyond what I had already established as a reputation. God said, "watch this."
I thought that, if it was up to me and I got to choose where I wanted to work after I graduated, it would be realisitic for me to do my internship in BC to try to emulate what might be close to what I'd work with so I can get a good feel for a church there - a best case sceneario. God said, "watch this."
So comes my internship, spending a lot of time trying to find out what I could learn from a small church in a small town in Saskatchewan. God said, "watch this."
Then is the student loans story where you can read two posts down.
Here is where I digress a little bit. Generally speaking, every time I've come home from school for a break or something, I've been very disappointed with my home church and how the state of its spirituality was struggling and not looking up at all. I've been rather worried about where our church was headed due to questionable leadership and an unclear vision. Coming back this time, though, I've seen and heard of some incredibly encouraging things that have my hopes back up for our church. I'm very pleased to see a group of people basically take responsibility and carry the work of the Lord on their backs, saying no to the temptations of letting the state of the church continue to snowball into oblivion. I didn't think it could happen so quickly and with the current leadership. God said, "watch this."
Going into 2014, I'm feeling very encouraged. I'm still scared of what's ahead, but I've already seen what God can and will do so long as I keep my focus and trust in him. If we are real with God, surrendering ourselves completely to him, he will take us to that front of the stage, having people stand and clap, recognizing how good he is to those who are faithful. The feeling is like none other: of absolute humility, in complete awe, unable to comprehend all that's happened, in wonder of why God would bless us so abundantly.
I always wonder why God is so good to me. There are so many people that are much more deserving of the blessings that seem to always end up on my lap; but with it being so, it just motivates me and pushes me to continue pursuing Christ because he has given me life. I pray that my expectations for 2014 will be blown out of the water in the same way they were for 2013.
Happy New Years.
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