Man, it feels good to watch the Oilers give the Canucks a good spanking. It doesn't matter that the Canucks iced a minor league team, it is always going to feel good beating them no matter the circumstances.
So I've been home for a week now. I've loved it so much, except I've felt a bit restless all week, like I needed to be doing something. Instead, I just spent most of my time at home relaxing and spending some quiet time. I think it's usually like that right? After finishing a term, we almost don't know how to react to not having anything to do for a few days, so we kind of panic in trying to find out what is needed to be done next.
It's always awesome to come home, even if most people have learned to live sans me. I'm an attention whore, so I need to be noticed! Haha, just kidding. With being home brings some awesome things, but it can also bring back some old habits and re-ignite some things that may have left your life when you moved out, so it's always a battle and a challenge to try to keep my eyes fixed on what I need to.
From Monday to Wednesday, I'll be in Calgary for my internship seminar. I don't really know what to think about all this so far. I'm kind of excited, but at the same time, not really. I know that in preparing for my internship, my mindset will largely dictate how the internship actually goes. So, it's going to be one of the most difficult things I'll have ever done, but I'm going to do my best to go into this thing with an unmovably positive mindset. Can I do it? Am I crazy? Who knows, but that's my first and most important goal prior to the thing actually starting.
I'll get to meet my mentor pastor and get to sort a few things out, I think. Then I'll come back to Edmonton for a couple weeks and then head down to Assiniboia. I've always wondered why and how tiny towns that no one knows exists come to be. I'm willing to go out on a limb to say that a large majority of the people that live in this town have lived in the town for a very long time. Unless work sends you there, I just don't think many people will voluntarily say something like, "I want to move to Assiniboia." That just cannot happen! Maybe that's too much of a city boy mentality coming from me, but yeah. And to be fair, someone from New York would never say something like, "I want to move to Edmonton!" So it's all about perspective right?
With just a couple weeks until I start my internship, I've begun thinking about what I wanted to achieve with my time in Saskatchewan. I'm really not looking at anything academic or anything even of the knowledge/wisdom category. Most of my thoughts have been more about how this is going to affect the way I live life. One of the things that have popped into my mind a few times is the whole small town laidback-ness. Usually, the bigger the city you live in, the less time you have (so to speak). So it's going to be really sweet to see if there is actually any difference in how much time controls the lives of people in Assiniboia. I'm so laidback as a person, that if they're not as dictated by time, it'd be like heaven for me.
Another thing that I've thought about drew from my AIA summer. I talked about how people in small towns are so much nicer and more awesome than people in the city. Again, if this is even remotely true, I could potentially be infatuated with the place. On the other side of things, my AIA summer was when I was at a high point in my life, so almost everything I did is viewed in a highly positive regard. I probably encountered some really awesome people and awesome things over the last two years, but because I had struggled, maybe I didn't see them that way. However, I am on the upswing again (or so it seems), so hopefully it works out.
Being in Saskatchewan for 8 months is going to really test my independence. It's not going to be like in Calgary where I could just go to the store to get something if I wanted, or drive up three hours to come home. I had meals cooked for me, etc. All I really needed to do was go to class. So, standing at the edge of this ledge, I am not sure if I want to look down before I jump. If I do, it might scare me, but at least I'll know what I'm jumping into. If I don't, then...
Saturday, April 27, 2013
Saturday, April 20, 2013
Just A Day Too Late
I am still sick right now. But that's okay, it won't stop me from writing to you.
I've been blessed to finish another year of school. The unfortunate thing, though, is that it doesn't really feel like the end of one for me. I kind of knew that this would happen: my third and fourth year will feel like the same year, a very long year. This is because the two years will be co-joined together with my internship, thus not giving me an actual summer to be home and be lazy. I was okay with it because I wanted to finish school on time. So it worked out nicely that I only have one semester remaining after my internship, allowing me to go straight back to school for the winter term and graduate.
Before that happens though, I do get to spend a bit of time at home and I'm so glad that I do. This year has felt both long and short. I think that all in all I had a great year. It was a very challenging year that I very much enjoyed. The only thing that I probably wish I did better was my academics. I have to admit that I didn't do very well. Most of the time, I'll have found myself sitting in my room while trying to finish an assignment/studying and think to myself, "I started this just a day too late." Literally every assignment or exam ended up like that. So I think that was the only thing I wish I did better. Procrastinating has lead me to handing assignments in late for the very first time in my, so far, 4 completed years of post-secondary. Not only did I hand in homework late once, I did it several times. My profs were gracious enough to still give me pretty decent marks; I don't think I had anything less than a B in any of my late assignments. So I'll take it.
Aside from the academics though, it was a great year in school and on res. I struggled to adapt to the community living last year, but it felt much better this year. And it also helped that everyone eventually got along pretty well with each other.
Okay, there was one thing I struggled with this year that I just remembered. For the first time in my life, there have been several occasions, and I mean several, that I did not want to go to church on many Sundays. There are several reasons, but I won't get into them. It was tough though because a couple times I felt okay with not going to church, which is a terrible thing to think. But it also allowed me to try to do church in a different way, which was neat.
So I'm going to wrap it up here as I need to get to bed in order to get over this cough. Hope everyone finishes their term on a good note (I prefer a nice high A, if you get what I'm saying).
I've been blessed to finish another year of school. The unfortunate thing, though, is that it doesn't really feel like the end of one for me. I kind of knew that this would happen: my third and fourth year will feel like the same year, a very long year. This is because the two years will be co-joined together with my internship, thus not giving me an actual summer to be home and be lazy. I was okay with it because I wanted to finish school on time. So it worked out nicely that I only have one semester remaining after my internship, allowing me to go straight back to school for the winter term and graduate.
Before that happens though, I do get to spend a bit of time at home and I'm so glad that I do. This year has felt both long and short. I think that all in all I had a great year. It was a very challenging year that I very much enjoyed. The only thing that I probably wish I did better was my academics. I have to admit that I didn't do very well. Most of the time, I'll have found myself sitting in my room while trying to finish an assignment/studying and think to myself, "I started this just a day too late." Literally every assignment or exam ended up like that. So I think that was the only thing I wish I did better. Procrastinating has lead me to handing assignments in late for the very first time in my, so far, 4 completed years of post-secondary. Not only did I hand in homework late once, I did it several times. My profs were gracious enough to still give me pretty decent marks; I don't think I had anything less than a B in any of my late assignments. So I'll take it.
Aside from the academics though, it was a great year in school and on res. I struggled to adapt to the community living last year, but it felt much better this year. And it also helped that everyone eventually got along pretty well with each other.
Okay, there was one thing I struggled with this year that I just remembered. For the first time in my life, there have been several occasions, and I mean several, that I did not want to go to church on many Sundays. There are several reasons, but I won't get into them. It was tough though because a couple times I felt okay with not going to church, which is a terrible thing to think. But it also allowed me to try to do church in a different way, which was neat.
So I'm going to wrap it up here as I need to get to bed in order to get over this cough. Hope everyone finishes their term on a good note (I prefer a nice high A, if you get what I'm saying).
Tuesday, April 9, 2013
Backlash
Yesterday, I gave my second sermon. This time, it was to my class and to my professor. If I wasn't in a Bible school, maybe it wouldn't have been as intimidating, but it was fine.
What a contrast to my first sermon though. The first sermon I gave left me feeling pretty good. I knew that I had a ton of things to work on since it was my first time, but I generally felt good after giving it. Yesterday, though, I felt like crap. It wasn't that I gave a poor sermon, I felt it was okay, and there was only one point that I probably needed to rephrase or reword so people don't interpret it the wrong way, but I just felt so defeated afterward.
I won't lie, I wanted to crawl in a hole and die for the rest of the evening. I really have no idea why, but there was just this huge wave of negative emotion and energy wash over me and there was no way for me to get rid of it. I tried to do some other things that would take my mind away from thinking too much about what I did that wasn't ideal, but it didn't really work. Oh well.
Anyways, if you're interested, I spoke on Matthew 14:22-33. It was the passage of Jesus walking on water. It's a story we've heard millions of times, but it's taught me so much more having gone through it for a sermon this time. I also don't like that for whatever reason, time always slows down when you're giving presentations/speaking in public. You know exactly what I mean because you're awesome. If you're to give a 15-20 minute thing, for example, and you prepare it to be safely within that time frame, but for whatever reason, you're ALWAYS short by a few minutes. I fell short by three minutes, oops.
Well, this wasn't quite expected for me, as to how I felt after this second sermon opposed to my first one. Nonetheless, today is my last day of classes for yet another year. I just have one last quiz to write at 2:30, and then I'll be writing a few finals, writing a couple more papers, and then my third year will be done.
Dang, son.
EDIT: Oh! I also want to address one more thing. I can see how many views I get on each one of my posts. And for whatever reason, I have nearly triple the amount of views on my post about me being Asian compared to the rest of my posts. I have no idea why that one is so popular, but I just went back to read it; and I said it in the post, but please don't assume that that's how I react every time someone makes Asian comments about me, or anyone else for that matter. I just had a rough day, and hearing people say some unnecessary things just really tipped me over. Fact of the matter is that everyone is going to have stereotypes of their own, myself included, but I just think that you don't need to bring it up so often. Eventually, these stereotypes will become discrimination whether we intended for it or not. And I'm also glad that someone said to me a few days after I wrote that post something to the extent of this, "it must suck that you never get credit for anything you do because people just say that you're Asian and that it doesn't count if you're good at something." It's almost like he read the post and felt bad for me, haha. JK <3>
What a contrast to my first sermon though. The first sermon I gave left me feeling pretty good. I knew that I had a ton of things to work on since it was my first time, but I generally felt good after giving it. Yesterday, though, I felt like crap. It wasn't that I gave a poor sermon, I felt it was okay, and there was only one point that I probably needed to rephrase or reword so people don't interpret it the wrong way, but I just felt so defeated afterward.
I won't lie, I wanted to crawl in a hole and die for the rest of the evening. I really have no idea why, but there was just this huge wave of negative emotion and energy wash over me and there was no way for me to get rid of it. I tried to do some other things that would take my mind away from thinking too much about what I did that wasn't ideal, but it didn't really work. Oh well.
Anyways, if you're interested, I spoke on Matthew 14:22-33. It was the passage of Jesus walking on water. It's a story we've heard millions of times, but it's taught me so much more having gone through it for a sermon this time. I also don't like that for whatever reason, time always slows down when you're giving presentations/speaking in public. You know exactly what I mean because you're awesome. If you're to give a 15-20 minute thing, for example, and you prepare it to be safely within that time frame, but for whatever reason, you're ALWAYS short by a few minutes. I fell short by three minutes, oops.
Well, this wasn't quite expected for me, as to how I felt after this second sermon opposed to my first one. Nonetheless, today is my last day of classes for yet another year. I just have one last quiz to write at 2:30, and then I'll be writing a few finals, writing a couple more papers, and then my third year will be done.
Dang, son.
EDIT: Oh! I also want to address one more thing. I can see how many views I get on each one of my posts. And for whatever reason, I have nearly triple the amount of views on my post about me being Asian compared to the rest of my posts. I have no idea why that one is so popular, but I just went back to read it; and I said it in the post, but please don't assume that that's how I react every time someone makes Asian comments about me, or anyone else for that matter. I just had a rough day, and hearing people say some unnecessary things just really tipped me over. Fact of the matter is that everyone is going to have stereotypes of their own, myself included, but I just think that you don't need to bring it up so often. Eventually, these stereotypes will become discrimination whether we intended for it or not. And I'm also glad that someone said to me a few days after I wrote that post something to the extent of this, "it must suck that you never get credit for anything you do because people just say that you're Asian and that it doesn't count if you're good at something." It's almost like he read the post and felt bad for me, haha. JK <3>
Sunday, April 7, 2013
April's Fool
"Oh crap! I need to look for a job." How many times have we said that every April?
I've come to love Aprils a lot since starting university. When I was in high school, I thought that university students were the luckiest people to have four months of summer. While I do think 10 months of school for grade school is too much, ending a couple months earlier for post-secondary isn't as wonderful as I thought it'd be.
I think that there are things that I like and dislike about both grade school and university. The biggest thing for me is work ethic. Throughout grades 1 to 12, we were consistently held accountable to do our homework every day. Most of the time, the homework was about repitition and that sort of stuff. I mean, how many nights did we have trying to do 50 math questions of just trying to find out what 'X' is? It was tedious, but it kept us on a consistent working level. We'd get assigned certain homework, and then we'd go home and do it the day it's assigned because we know it's due the next day or a couple days after that. Well, maybe this type of repetitiveness is still the case for a lot of people, depending on what field of study you're in, but I'd say the drives are a little different.
In university, I've no one to tell me to do my work except for myself and the deadline that is laid out on the syllabus. I have quickly found out how little self-motivation I have. At the beginning of each semester, I get handed a different syllabus for each class that I take, and that's about it. All the due dates are usually on there, and all that really happens after is the teaching or whatever that you get in class. Maybe I'm just terrible at managing a calendar that tells me all the things I need to do, but I usually just overlook these due dates most of the time, and sometimes even realize too late when something is due soon.
So by April, I'm kind of glad that I don't have to be disappointed in myself for procrastinating like crazy anymore. Especially with this year, I only have two days of classes left and then a couple exams over the next week, and I'll be done yet another year! I don't know if it's some kind of disease or allergy, but whenever I realize I have to complete some assignment, a huge sense of resentment just washes over me. Laziness FTL?
Then comes the summer part of the year. I've also come to think that four months of summer is too long. LOL. Over the last couple years, by the time I've realized that I need to be working as much as I can to earn as much as I can to pay off next year's school fees, it's usually well into May or even the beginning of June. For example, by the end of May last year, I was already sick of my job at the golf course. Somehow, I managed to chug along the next two and a half months until I got to coach a couple weeks of soccer camp in August and going to Vancouver for a couple weeks to finish off the summer.
Now that April has arrived again, who's going to be the fool that just looks at it as "another April"? Life probably gets stale really quickly if we just do what I've been doing. Good thing that's going to change for me this year, in that I'll be heading to an internship in the middle of May. As much as I don't want it right now, I know it'll be good for me.
You should try it! Don't look at this as just another end to a school year where you have to go find a job to earn money. Even if that is the case, do it with freshness. Try to put yourself in a position where you have to adjust to something new rather than just going back to that same retail job or serving in a restaurant. This isn't just another April. This April is only going to happen once, so don't be its fool and try to do something to make it count.
I've come to love Aprils a lot since starting university. When I was in high school, I thought that university students were the luckiest people to have four months of summer. While I do think 10 months of school for grade school is too much, ending a couple months earlier for post-secondary isn't as wonderful as I thought it'd be.
I think that there are things that I like and dislike about both grade school and university. The biggest thing for me is work ethic. Throughout grades 1 to 12, we were consistently held accountable to do our homework every day. Most of the time, the homework was about repitition and that sort of stuff. I mean, how many nights did we have trying to do 50 math questions of just trying to find out what 'X' is? It was tedious, but it kept us on a consistent working level. We'd get assigned certain homework, and then we'd go home and do it the day it's assigned because we know it's due the next day or a couple days after that. Well, maybe this type of repetitiveness is still the case for a lot of people, depending on what field of study you're in, but I'd say the drives are a little different.
In university, I've no one to tell me to do my work except for myself and the deadline that is laid out on the syllabus. I have quickly found out how little self-motivation I have. At the beginning of each semester, I get handed a different syllabus for each class that I take, and that's about it. All the due dates are usually on there, and all that really happens after is the teaching or whatever that you get in class. Maybe I'm just terrible at managing a calendar that tells me all the things I need to do, but I usually just overlook these due dates most of the time, and sometimes even realize too late when something is due soon.
So by April, I'm kind of glad that I don't have to be disappointed in myself for procrastinating like crazy anymore. Especially with this year, I only have two days of classes left and then a couple exams over the next week, and I'll be done yet another year! I don't know if it's some kind of disease or allergy, but whenever I realize I have to complete some assignment, a huge sense of resentment just washes over me. Laziness FTL?
Then comes the summer part of the year. I've also come to think that four months of summer is too long. LOL. Over the last couple years, by the time I've realized that I need to be working as much as I can to earn as much as I can to pay off next year's school fees, it's usually well into May or even the beginning of June. For example, by the end of May last year, I was already sick of my job at the golf course. Somehow, I managed to chug along the next two and a half months until I got to coach a couple weeks of soccer camp in August and going to Vancouver for a couple weeks to finish off the summer.
Now that April has arrived again, who's going to be the fool that just looks at it as "another April"? Life probably gets stale really quickly if we just do what I've been doing. Good thing that's going to change for me this year, in that I'll be heading to an internship in the middle of May. As much as I don't want it right now, I know it'll be good for me.
You should try it! Don't look at this as just another end to a school year where you have to go find a job to earn money. Even if that is the case, do it with freshness. Try to put yourself in a position where you have to adjust to something new rather than just going back to that same retail job or serving in a restaurant. This isn't just another April. This April is only going to happen once, so don't be its fool and try to do something to make it count.
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