I seem to do this every year: it's December 31st, and after having dinner to celebrate my brother's birthday, I end up finding myself sitting somewhere in the house and blogging about the past year. I have no idea whether or not it will ever amount to anything, but I guess it's a good habit that doesn't really hurt anybody.
This was such a bizarre year, to say the least. Quite honestly, I don't have any words that could really describe how the year went. With the way 2011 ended, it's especially hard for me to really have any positive outlook going into 2012. It's unfortunate, but the sad truth is that I have lost much of my "glass-half-full" mentality. One thing that I will never say is that a year was bad. It's definitely possible that I won't have a good year (by my standards); but to say that I've had a bad year would be doubting God's will.
And this is basically how it went...
I'm never going to forget how strange it was to be home for the first time over an extended break. I tried to fit right back in to the flow of things here at home, but it just didn't work because even though I'm not here anymore, life goes on - things happen. Not to take away from my break though, since it was, and always will be, so refreshing.
I don't really remember anything too remarkable in the winter term, however. School just continued, and I just kept living. When I finished the term, I was so happy to come back home for the summer. At the time, I didn't know what was in store for me because I didn't plan ahead; so when I got back, I went without a job for a couple months, and ended up just being a bum at home. As nice as it was to have time off, it lead me to a whirlwind of events that shaped me up for the rest of the year.
Being accepted to work for AIA changed everything. It's just funny how I had absolutely no intention on applying to be a soccer coach, and yet God used it to have a much larger impact on me than I could ever imagine. Trust me, this whole AIA experience extended beyond just the coaching and the witnessing of lives changing. I will shove this coaching job into one of the many things I don't understand and will definitely be asking God when I get to heaven.
When it came time for me to move into Ambrose's residence, I tried to not be intimidated by anyone or anything. The life I lived from September to December was very much the way I thought it would have turned out in res. I didn't do that well in school because it was just way too hard for me to focus with all the energy and things in general that were happening at school.
The more I think about it now, the more I'm wondering if I really should have spent my holidays the way that I did. I swore to myself that once I got back, I'd do everything in my power to keep myself as occupied and busy as possible. In a lot of ways, I've loved it; but at the same time, am I just running away or burning myself out? Maybe. One thing that I do know, however, is that what's happened has happened, and there's no point in thinking about how things could have been or should have been - I've found, though, that it's way too hard to do that.
So now that I'm here, sandwiched by eternity on both sides of time, I really wish I could be looking at 2012 differently. I started writing this post with no title; but somewhere in between the start and now, I threw in the current title. Let me explain why.
Everyone is celebrating the passing of a new year, making resolutions that are never kept, reflecting and evaluating, all sorts of things that we do during the time when we flip calendars. My attitude is that none of these things are a big deal at all. Another year has come and gone, another one awaits us: big whoop, it's happened thousands of times. Years from now, heck even months or days, does any of this matter? Probably not. I don't mean to be pooping on your party, but life can be so dull sometimes. Eventually, we just go back to our routines of school or work; once in a while, something nice will happen - like getting a promotion, or graduating - but at the end of the day, it's all the same. This fallen world that we live in is just so messed up. Some of the nicest people that deserve all the fortune this world has to offer get pushed around and kicked to the dirt while the idiots get to feel like the world bows before them.
Call it bitterness; call it self-pity; or call it whatever you want. Point is, I'm tired of learning how to grow up. I was thinking about making the claim of being tired of waiting for God to work and make life pretty, but I knew that I'd get a lot of crap for saying that, so why not just direct it all at myself, seeing as this way I don't have to have people "correct my way of thinking about God's omnipotence and blah blah blah."
Have a great freaking new year.
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Monday, December 26, 2011
A Spotless Mind
"What are you studying?"
I always have fun with that question. I've given answers that ranged from, "I go to a private college" to "I'm gonna be a PASTOR, man!" Depending on who it is I get asked by, the response will vary. And for the times that I do straight up say that I'm studying Christian ministries, the responses I get are always interesting. And because I'm in this track of study, it also implies that I love to watch people. And because I love to watch people, seeing their responses, whether verbal or just simply a face that they make, is very amusing. I'm quite confident that some people passed judgment on me when I tell them I want to be a pastor; but I quite honestly don't mind so much... anymore, at least. When I first accepted God's calling into ministry, I was so timid and so scared to tell people because I didn't know what kind of reception it'd get. But now, I've just kind of learned to shove it aside and do what's right. But to say that I never have times of doubt or second guessing would mean that I'd be lying. And eventually, when things come back full circle in re-confirming my calling, it's pretty surreal in how it's done.
As for progress on "Love Wins", it slowed down over the last couple of days. For some strange reason, I caught the stomach flu on Christmas Eve and I felt like crap for most of the day. But all of a sudden, when I woke up on Christmas Day, I felt way better. And when I woke up this morning, I feel more or less like regular again. Pretty quick recovery ability, yeah? I don't know what that has anything to do with reading the book, but maybe it interrupted my flow. The only thing I have to say so far is that Rob Bell raises some really good points.
A few days back, I also re-watched "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind." The first time I watched this movie was in high school, and I had no idea what the heck happened. I was explained to of most of the details that went on, and the concept of it blew my mind away. I think it's fair to say that most people have trouble catching onto non-linear plots or storylines, as in the case of this movie. So, that's why I wanted to watch it again; and even watching it for the third time now, there were still parts of the movies that seemed to be left open ended and made me guess at what the writer was trying to say in that specific part. But what really captured me, like anything else that attracts me, is the story of the movie. If something has a good story to it, I'm almost always going to like it.
People always debate over the whole fate versus chance thing in life, and I felt that this movie depicts it so well. I'm a firm believer in the fate that God has already determined and that everything is just unfolding day by day. So, adding that belief into my already vulnerable self, the movie hits home. Also, movies that involve a lot of thinking and contemplation are movies that I like to watch (but maybe not so much the political stuff)! I know Jim Carrey is more of a comedy guy, but he did a pretty good job in this movie.
One thing, though, that this movie reminded me of is how real some of the underlying themes are in comparison to real life. I've seen it when people not only fall in love, but fall off the face of the earth after they find someone; it sucks especially when it's someone that you're close to, and all of a sudden you just don't seem to matter anymore because that special someone is all that matters to him/her. I've also seen where a couple can be dating, then break up for some really dumb reason, only to find themselves together again in the future. A lot of times, that breakup might have been warranted for them to see how much they meant to each other, so it worked out in the end; and drawing from what I said about everything happening for a reason, it's all good that it happened that way because it was meant to be.
Loved that movie. Not a fan of most chick flicks, but this one is probably my favorite of all time. Next up, Shawshank Redemption. I also watched Transformers 3 last night, which was one of the movies I completely missed out on over the summer because AIA took all of me.
As for Boxing Day, I only went to South Edmonton Common today and bought myself a pair of sweats. Lame, I know; but tomorrow is round two at WEM! I am still in need of a new pair of shoes to fix my... well, everything!
I always have fun with that question. I've given answers that ranged from, "I go to a private college" to "I'm gonna be a PASTOR, man!" Depending on who it is I get asked by, the response will vary. And for the times that I do straight up say that I'm studying Christian ministries, the responses I get are always interesting. And because I'm in this track of study, it also implies that I love to watch people. And because I love to watch people, seeing their responses, whether verbal or just simply a face that they make, is very amusing. I'm quite confident that some people passed judgment on me when I tell them I want to be a pastor; but I quite honestly don't mind so much... anymore, at least. When I first accepted God's calling into ministry, I was so timid and so scared to tell people because I didn't know what kind of reception it'd get. But now, I've just kind of learned to shove it aside and do what's right. But to say that I never have times of doubt or second guessing would mean that I'd be lying. And eventually, when things come back full circle in re-confirming my calling, it's pretty surreal in how it's done.
As for progress on "Love Wins", it slowed down over the last couple of days. For some strange reason, I caught the stomach flu on Christmas Eve and I felt like crap for most of the day. But all of a sudden, when I woke up on Christmas Day, I felt way better. And when I woke up this morning, I feel more or less like regular again. Pretty quick recovery ability, yeah? I don't know what that has anything to do with reading the book, but maybe it interrupted my flow. The only thing I have to say so far is that Rob Bell raises some really good points.
A few days back, I also re-watched "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind." The first time I watched this movie was in high school, and I had no idea what the heck happened. I was explained to of most of the details that went on, and the concept of it blew my mind away. I think it's fair to say that most people have trouble catching onto non-linear plots or storylines, as in the case of this movie. So, that's why I wanted to watch it again; and even watching it for the third time now, there were still parts of the movies that seemed to be left open ended and made me guess at what the writer was trying to say in that specific part. But what really captured me, like anything else that attracts me, is the story of the movie. If something has a good story to it, I'm almost always going to like it.
People always debate over the whole fate versus chance thing in life, and I felt that this movie depicts it so well. I'm a firm believer in the fate that God has already determined and that everything is just unfolding day by day. So, adding that belief into my already vulnerable self, the movie hits home. Also, movies that involve a lot of thinking and contemplation are movies that I like to watch (but maybe not so much the political stuff)! I know Jim Carrey is more of a comedy guy, but he did a pretty good job in this movie.
One thing, though, that this movie reminded me of is how real some of the underlying themes are in comparison to real life. I've seen it when people not only fall in love, but fall off the face of the earth after they find someone; it sucks especially when it's someone that you're close to, and all of a sudden you just don't seem to matter anymore because that special someone is all that matters to him/her. I've also seen where a couple can be dating, then break up for some really dumb reason, only to find themselves together again in the future. A lot of times, that breakup might have been warranted for them to see how much they meant to each other, so it worked out in the end; and drawing from what I said about everything happening for a reason, it's all good that it happened that way because it was meant to be.
Loved that movie. Not a fan of most chick flicks, but this one is probably my favorite of all time. Next up, Shawshank Redemption. I also watched Transformers 3 last night, which was one of the movies I completely missed out on over the summer because AIA took all of me.
As for Boxing Day, I only went to South Edmonton Common today and bought myself a pair of sweats. Lame, I know; but tomorrow is round two at WEM! I am still in need of a new pair of shoes to fix my... well, everything!
Saturday, December 24, 2011
Bliss
Having been home for a week now, I'm quite at peace. I know it's 1 in the morning on Christmas Eve, but I thought I'd blog anyway. Haha.
Even though I'm blogging, I don't really know what I want to say. I've kept myself busy more or less everyday in some way. Got a pretty sweet opportunity to watch a bunch of people, including my brother, get baptized the first Sunday. Aside from my brother, I've had some sort of connection with a couple of other people that got baptized because I got the chance to monitor their past couple years in their path to baptism.
I got to go shopping on multiple occasions this week, and as predicted, I spent the money that I told myself not to spend. However, other than a case and screen protector for my phone, I haven't spent any of the money on myself. That's a plus right? I also bought the book "Love Wins" by Rob Bell. For the past little while, even though it's died down a little bit, people have been barking left and right about what Rob Bell wrote in this book. I wanted to comment, and I wanted to fire back according to what people have told me about the book, but I felt that it wasn't for me to be giving my thoughts on a book that I haven't even read yet. And so I went to buy the book yesterday!
Anyways, tomorrow (or technically today) is Christmas Eve; time goes by way too fast. I looked at the weather and I couldn't believe that it will be plus temperatures this Christmas. Global warming is seriously eating us alive. When January and February comes around, I feel like temperatures might run extremely low, down to the negative 40s on a consistent basis. That does not bode well for our climate.
So, to wrap up the bliss of being home for a week, I will need to buy myself some more sweats because I only have like two of each. I'm excited for the province of Alberta because so many people from around the world will be here over the next couple weeks for the World Juniors; exciting times are definitely around. However, you can count on me to definitely not be around the big attractions of the city because everyone will be there!
Merry Christmas everyone! <3
Even though I'm blogging, I don't really know what I want to say. I've kept myself busy more or less everyday in some way. Got a pretty sweet opportunity to watch a bunch of people, including my brother, get baptized the first Sunday. Aside from my brother, I've had some sort of connection with a couple of other people that got baptized because I got the chance to monitor their past couple years in their path to baptism.
I got to go shopping on multiple occasions this week, and as predicted, I spent the money that I told myself not to spend. However, other than a case and screen protector for my phone, I haven't spent any of the money on myself. That's a plus right? I also bought the book "Love Wins" by Rob Bell. For the past little while, even though it's died down a little bit, people have been barking left and right about what Rob Bell wrote in this book. I wanted to comment, and I wanted to fire back according to what people have told me about the book, but I felt that it wasn't for me to be giving my thoughts on a book that I haven't even read yet. And so I went to buy the book yesterday!
Anyways, tomorrow (or technically today) is Christmas Eve; time goes by way too fast. I looked at the weather and I couldn't believe that it will be plus temperatures this Christmas. Global warming is seriously eating us alive. When January and February comes around, I feel like temperatures might run extremely low, down to the negative 40s on a consistent basis. That does not bode well for our climate.
So, to wrap up the bliss of being home for a week, I will need to buy myself some more sweats because I only have like two of each. I'm excited for the province of Alberta because so many people from around the world will be here over the next couple weeks for the World Juniors; exciting times are definitely around. However, you can count on me to definitely not be around the big attractions of the city because everyone will be there!
Merry Christmas everyone! <3
Saturday, December 17, 2011
That Feeling
I was guilty of rushing my exam yesterday so I could get out as fast as I could to leave Calgary and come home. It was a long drive, but I made it.
When I drove passed the "Welcome to Edmonton" sign, and began to get closer to South Common, this tremendous wave of peace and joy washed over me like I have never felt before. As many people who have been keeping tabs on my life lately, it has been rather stormy. So in a sense, even the smallest bits of true, genuine joy feels like I just won at life or something. After being enveloped by that joy for about a minute, I caught myself with the biggest smile on my face.
I'm not sure if it was just a matter of finishing a semester and being able to go home for a few weeks or something else, but there was such a sense of freedom - like I was released from some disease that was intoxicating my being.
But yeah, anyways, I'm so glad that I'm home. I don't want to make it sound that way, but sometimes school can feel like a prison, especially when you spend literally your entire day there. This reminds me. I'm going to watch Shawshank Redemption again over this break so I can relate to it more. Haha.
This break, I'm going to keep myself as busy as I can; so if anyone ever wants to just hang out or do something, call me up! I am up for almost anything.
Also, I need a new phone.
When I drove passed the "Welcome to Edmonton" sign, and began to get closer to South Common, this tremendous wave of peace and joy washed over me like I have never felt before. As many people who have been keeping tabs on my life lately, it has been rather stormy. So in a sense, even the smallest bits of true, genuine joy feels like I just won at life or something. After being enveloped by that joy for about a minute, I caught myself with the biggest smile on my face.
I'm not sure if it was just a matter of finishing a semester and being able to go home for a few weeks or something else, but there was such a sense of freedom - like I was released from some disease that was intoxicating my being.
But yeah, anyways, I'm so glad that I'm home. I don't want to make it sound that way, but sometimes school can feel like a prison, especially when you spend literally your entire day there. This reminds me. I'm going to watch Shawshank Redemption again over this break so I can relate to it more. Haha.
This break, I'm going to keep myself as busy as I can; so if anyone ever wants to just hang out or do something, call me up! I am up for almost anything.
Also, I need a new phone.
Thursday, December 15, 2011
T-Minus 1
I kind of wonder if the numbers I have reading this blog now is anywhere close to what it used to be. It seems most people have moved to Tumblr for good. But, because I am a clingy person, I will never abandon my Blogspot! Haha.
Class ended last Thursday, so it's been a week now. Last Friday, I basically took the day off; and at night, we had our annual Ambrose's Christmas banquet. It was a lot of fun and I enjoyed it even though it could have been better. However, I won't complain because I go to school and live with some of the most amazing people that exist.
After the banquet, exams began the very next morning. I felt bad for those that went to the banquet and then had to get up to write a test the next day. But it looks like everyone is surviving quite well so far. Except me, maybe. I wrote my Greek "final" this past Monday, and it was tough. The test was just the third of three translation tests we had to do for this course; but because it just so happened to fall on finals week, my prof decided to make it harder and use some words that we don't normally use. So, I had a bit of trouble figuring out what the passage meant. But either way, it's over now, and I'll take what I can get.
Over the last two days, I am not quite sure what I did. All that I can recall is sitting at my desk for much of the day without much production. Actually, most of what I've been doing over the last couple days have all taken place inside of my head. Haha. The amount of thinking I did is actually quite amazing I think. From video games, to reality, to alternate realities, to my downfalls, to the things I've lost, the list goes on.
So now, I'm finding myself a little bit screwed. Oops. I have a lot of cleaning to do today because we have to make sure our rooms are tidy and clean before we leave. And because of the amount of maintenance that's been done over the term, it's going to be hell to clean. Then I'll need to pack. I don't think packing will be too time consuming, but I don't want to forget anything. Then, I have to start studying for my final tomorrow. Just a bit of a lament, I just cannot, for the life of me, work myself up to study for a course that isn't relevant to anything I'm doing. And this being the second time I've taken an introduction Sociology class, it's twice as hard to study for something I just don't care about. If I fail my final tomorrow, I wouldn't be surprised. Luckily, it's only 30% and I've done pretty decent in the class so far with the half ass effort I've given all semester.
And this brings me to going home. By this time tomorrow, I'll very likely have finished my test and driving home. I'm really excited, but nervous at the same time. For one thing, driving alone on the highway has got to be one of the worst things ever. It's so boring and time slows down tremendously. I guess, though, that it'll just mean I have four hours to think and talk to God and bombard him with the questions I have for him. I've been doing a lot of that lately: throwing everything I have at God. It gets frustrating, and I'm sure a lot of people can relate, because it's very possible that I'm missing something, but all I'm getting in response from God is to wait. By his timing, I guess.
With that, the first term of my third year in university is over! It's hard to believe that if I stuck to what I was doing right out of high school, I'd be graduating this year. But due to circumstances, I still have two years to go before I can do that. Time really does go by insanely fast, and I am not going to lie, high school feels like yesterday. I don't know if that's necessarily a good thing, because it can also imply that I haven't really grown much. But, fact of the matter is that I know I've grown a ton.
Even so, I've got many more miles to go.
Class ended last Thursday, so it's been a week now. Last Friday, I basically took the day off; and at night, we had our annual Ambrose's Christmas banquet. It was a lot of fun and I enjoyed it even though it could have been better. However, I won't complain because I go to school and live with some of the most amazing people that exist.
After the banquet, exams began the very next morning. I felt bad for those that went to the banquet and then had to get up to write a test the next day. But it looks like everyone is surviving quite well so far. Except me, maybe. I wrote my Greek "final" this past Monday, and it was tough. The test was just the third of three translation tests we had to do for this course; but because it just so happened to fall on finals week, my prof decided to make it harder and use some words that we don't normally use. So, I had a bit of trouble figuring out what the passage meant. But either way, it's over now, and I'll take what I can get.
Over the last two days, I am not quite sure what I did. All that I can recall is sitting at my desk for much of the day without much production. Actually, most of what I've been doing over the last couple days have all taken place inside of my head. Haha. The amount of thinking I did is actually quite amazing I think. From video games, to reality, to alternate realities, to my downfalls, to the things I've lost, the list goes on.
So now, I'm finding myself a little bit screwed. Oops. I have a lot of cleaning to do today because we have to make sure our rooms are tidy and clean before we leave. And because of the amount of maintenance that's been done over the term, it's going to be hell to clean. Then I'll need to pack. I don't think packing will be too time consuming, but I don't want to forget anything. Then, I have to start studying for my final tomorrow. Just a bit of a lament, I just cannot, for the life of me, work myself up to study for a course that isn't relevant to anything I'm doing. And this being the second time I've taken an introduction Sociology class, it's twice as hard to study for something I just don't care about. If I fail my final tomorrow, I wouldn't be surprised. Luckily, it's only 30% and I've done pretty decent in the class so far with the half ass effort I've given all semester.
And this brings me to going home. By this time tomorrow, I'll very likely have finished my test and driving home. I'm really excited, but nervous at the same time. For one thing, driving alone on the highway has got to be one of the worst things ever. It's so boring and time slows down tremendously. I guess, though, that it'll just mean I have four hours to think and talk to God and bombard him with the questions I have for him. I've been doing a lot of that lately: throwing everything I have at God. It gets frustrating, and I'm sure a lot of people can relate, because it's very possible that I'm missing something, but all I'm getting in response from God is to wait. By his timing, I guess.
With that, the first term of my third year in university is over! It's hard to believe that if I stuck to what I was doing right out of high school, I'd be graduating this year. But due to circumstances, I still have two years to go before I can do that. Time really does go by insanely fast, and I am not going to lie, high school feels like yesterday. I don't know if that's necessarily a good thing, because it can also imply that I haven't really grown much. But, fact of the matter is that I know I've grown a ton.
Even so, I've got many more miles to go.
Saturday, December 10, 2011
Wrapping Up
I was blessed with only two finals this semester, one of which isn't really a final. On Monday, I will be writing the third of three Greek exams; and on Friday, I'll write my Sociology final. After I finish my exams, I'll be going home!
I am honestly so ready to go home and have Christmas. Not only because I am sick of school, but I am sick of the boundaries I've been looking at this term. Other than the odd time I went out to do something I don't normally do, I've been looking at the same things each and every day. Honestly, it gets tiring. So basically, I need a break.
Home is usually a place of familiarity and comfort for people that have been away; but for me, it is a sense of renewal or freshness. I think that this has come at a really opportune time because the one thing that I've discovered that is worse than apathy is numbness. There's a phrase in a song that says, "the wheels keep turning but the feeling is gone." I used to think this meant apathy, but I feel like there is more to it than just apathy. When you've been "feeling" something for a long enough time, more specifically on the negative side, that it becomes numb, it's one of the worst things to experience. Whether it's physically or emotionally, when pain grows numb, it completely flips you inside out. You're so used to it, that you forget it's there. And that numbness causes a lot of negative things, so much that you wonder why it's happening. So that's why as this term is wrapping up, I'm so stoked to go home; that way, I can just do my best to forget about everything and renew myself for the winter term.
Anyways... (=
I'm trying to work up some motivation to study for my Greek test on Monday, and I'm going to be putting together a playlist for that. I have never really been the type to study best with music. But I am discovering more and more that I have found a lot of music where I can just let it run and it drowns out everything exterior for me so I can focus. Most of the time, I guess the music doesn't really have words to them, although there are quite a few songs I really enjoy being played when I am studying/working.
I'm also stoked to shop when I get back to Edmonton because, let's face it, shopping in Calgary is not nearly as good. Maybe I just don't know all the right places here, but it's still not as good. I was so underwhelmed when I went to Chinook a few weeks back. I'd been there I think 2 or 3 times since moving to Calgary, but never really got to do any in depth shopping. I got to do that back in November and it was disappointing to say the least. Not my taste. I mean, there's still stuff I like, but it's not like some places in Edmonton like WEM or South Common where I can get more or less all that I want from the one shopping center. Chinook, though, does have a True Religion store that I didn't get a chance to go into - and Edmonton doesn't have that.
So as Christmas is around the corner, I wonder what else I will be wrapping up other than this semester of school? (= If I could wrap you up, I would. Haha!
"If you're going through hell, keep going." - Winston Churchill
I am honestly so ready to go home and have Christmas. Not only because I am sick of school, but I am sick of the boundaries I've been looking at this term. Other than the odd time I went out to do something I don't normally do, I've been looking at the same things each and every day. Honestly, it gets tiring. So basically, I need a break.
Home is usually a place of familiarity and comfort for people that have been away; but for me, it is a sense of renewal or freshness. I think that this has come at a really opportune time because the one thing that I've discovered that is worse than apathy is numbness. There's a phrase in a song that says, "the wheels keep turning but the feeling is gone." I used to think this meant apathy, but I feel like there is more to it than just apathy. When you've been "feeling" something for a long enough time, more specifically on the negative side, that it becomes numb, it's one of the worst things to experience. Whether it's physically or emotionally, when pain grows numb, it completely flips you inside out. You're so used to it, that you forget it's there. And that numbness causes a lot of negative things, so much that you wonder why it's happening. So that's why as this term is wrapping up, I'm so stoked to go home; that way, I can just do my best to forget about everything and renew myself for the winter term.
Anyways... (=
I'm trying to work up some motivation to study for my Greek test on Monday, and I'm going to be putting together a playlist for that. I have never really been the type to study best with music. But I am discovering more and more that I have found a lot of music where I can just let it run and it drowns out everything exterior for me so I can focus. Most of the time, I guess the music doesn't really have words to them, although there are quite a few songs I really enjoy being played when I am studying/working.
I'm also stoked to shop when I get back to Edmonton because, let's face it, shopping in Calgary is not nearly as good. Maybe I just don't know all the right places here, but it's still not as good. I was so underwhelmed when I went to Chinook a few weeks back. I'd been there I think 2 or 3 times since moving to Calgary, but never really got to do any in depth shopping. I got to do that back in November and it was disappointing to say the least. Not my taste. I mean, there's still stuff I like, but it's not like some places in Edmonton like WEM or South Common where I can get more or less all that I want from the one shopping center. Chinook, though, does have a True Religion store that I didn't get a chance to go into - and Edmonton doesn't have that.
So as Christmas is around the corner, I wonder what else I will be wrapping up other than this semester of school? (= If I could wrap you up, I would. Haha!
"If you're going through hell, keep going." - Winston Churchill
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
The Experience
A wise man once said, "the remedy is the experience." For the longest time I wondered what that really meant. I think that there could be a double meaning in the sense that he was saying that going through the experience of something IS the remedy for whatever needs healing. The other possible meaning that I got from this is that the whole process of healing is THE experience. The experience, meaning that going through that process is "talk of the town" material for someone's life.
I still don't know what he meant when he said that, but maybe looking at the context of this quote might help. His best friend, at the time, was going through cancer treatment. Everyone knows that going through all the radiation and all the different types of chemotherapy can be a pain. However, this cancer victim met someone that told him basically to look at things differently. What was meant by differently was that instead of seeing the cancer treatments as unfortunate and bad, he should see it as a blessing because not everyone gets to go through this process. So, in a sense, all the things he has to do to treat his cancer is special because he gets to see what it's like, while not very many other people do.
It probably takes a whole lot of strength to be able to see things that way: to not worry your life away in such hard times. But such a simple concept probably changed my life even though I had nothing to do with it. Throughout the past several years, this is what I've lived by. And sometimes I'll forget what it means or refuse to see things that way, like recently, but it doesn't take away from the point that it is something I encourage onto other people as well.
There is and always will be a positive end of the spectrum, you just have to find it; and that, to me, is the experience - the remedy. So coming back to what I said earlier about saying that I'm not sure what the person really meant about how the remedy is the experience, to me, it is both.
A lot of times, going through something crappy is exactly what we need in order to mend a certain part of our lives. And then at the same time, the whole process of going through that healing will feel like none other when all is said and done.
It's all about the wordplay.
I still don't know what he meant when he said that, but maybe looking at the context of this quote might help. His best friend, at the time, was going through cancer treatment. Everyone knows that going through all the radiation and all the different types of chemotherapy can be a pain. However, this cancer victim met someone that told him basically to look at things differently. What was meant by differently was that instead of seeing the cancer treatments as unfortunate and bad, he should see it as a blessing because not everyone gets to go through this process. So, in a sense, all the things he has to do to treat his cancer is special because he gets to see what it's like, while not very many other people do.
It probably takes a whole lot of strength to be able to see things that way: to not worry your life away in such hard times. But such a simple concept probably changed my life even though I had nothing to do with it. Throughout the past several years, this is what I've lived by. And sometimes I'll forget what it means or refuse to see things that way, like recently, but it doesn't take away from the point that it is something I encourage onto other people as well.
There is and always will be a positive end of the spectrum, you just have to find it; and that, to me, is the experience - the remedy. So coming back to what I said earlier about saying that I'm not sure what the person really meant about how the remedy is the experience, to me, it is both.
A lot of times, going through something crappy is exactly what we need in order to mend a certain part of our lives. And then at the same time, the whole process of going through that healing will feel like none other when all is said and done.
It's all about the wordplay.
Sunday, December 4, 2011
See Through
Originally, I was thinking about breaking all records and try to post every single day this month leading up to Christmas. But unfortunately, I had nothing to blog about yesterday - so that failed.
Today, I have something to blog about! As I wake up to the massive blizzard that forced me to not be able to go to church, I had plenty of time to go back to bed and just think. I haven't missed a Sunday worship in a very long time, so it definitely felt a little strange to not go to church this morning.
While I was laying in my bed, I was just thinking about a wide variety of things - like I always do. I am not entirely sure how I got to this point... Well, I do, but that's beside the fact... I always wonder how transparent I am. Not literally, because you can't literally see through me (although that could be argued because of how skinny I am - but I digress). More personality-wise. I never stop thinking about the way people look at me and how I want to look to the people around me because it's important that I rep what I stand for.
I try, but I'm also really dorky in that when I meet people, I always try to remain mysterious. Most of the time it works, but I also feel that I can get very one-dimensional eventually. Not quite a one trick pony... well, more like a no trick pony since I'm not especially good at anything. But I purposely don't tell people all the facts about me so it can keep people guessing and wanting to know me more. That way, when one day I pull out a sick song on the guitar, or pull out a sweet magic trick, it'll blow people away because they wouldn't have expected me to know how to do that stuff!
It works in theory, but not so well practically. Why? Because most of the stuff I do isn't so special. I don't do any of the wildlife stuff, or the skydiving/extreme sports stuff, or the super artsy stuff, so you can imagine that it'd be kind of underwhelming when I whip something out. Whipping my hair back and forth doesn't count either.
So yeah, I don't know how predictable or how transparent I am as a person. If I had to guess, I'd say very. Quite honestly, I'm really boring so none of this "mysterious" stuff really work.
I don't know, just a thought. Haha. I just hope my car will be okay.
Two weeks until I go home! Yeah! <3 <3
Today, I have something to blog about! As I wake up to the massive blizzard that forced me to not be able to go to church, I had plenty of time to go back to bed and just think. I haven't missed a Sunday worship in a very long time, so it definitely felt a little strange to not go to church this morning.
While I was laying in my bed, I was just thinking about a wide variety of things - like I always do. I am not entirely sure how I got to this point... Well, I do, but that's beside the fact... I always wonder how transparent I am. Not literally, because you can't literally see through me (although that could be argued because of how skinny I am - but I digress). More personality-wise. I never stop thinking about the way people look at me and how I want to look to the people around me because it's important that I rep what I stand for.
I try, but I'm also really dorky in that when I meet people, I always try to remain mysterious. Most of the time it works, but I also feel that I can get very one-dimensional eventually. Not quite a one trick pony... well, more like a no trick pony since I'm not especially good at anything. But I purposely don't tell people all the facts about me so it can keep people guessing and wanting to know me more. That way, when one day I pull out a sick song on the guitar, or pull out a sweet magic trick, it'll blow people away because they wouldn't have expected me to know how to do that stuff!
It works in theory, but not so well practically. Why? Because most of the stuff I do isn't so special. I don't do any of the wildlife stuff, or the skydiving/extreme sports stuff, or the super artsy stuff, so you can imagine that it'd be kind of underwhelming when I whip something out. Whipping my hair back and forth doesn't count either.
So yeah, I don't know how predictable or how transparent I am as a person. If I had to guess, I'd say very. Quite honestly, I'm really boring so none of this "mysterious" stuff really work.
I don't know, just a thought. Haha. I just hope my car will be okay.
Two weeks until I go home! Yeah! <3 <3
Friday, December 2, 2011
Blargh!
Whoever has cursed me, it is working!
Last week, I discovered that the front left side of the bumper on my car was knocked loose so it is sort of dangling a little bit. Needs to be re-attached!
On Thursday, I took my guitar to practice and the pick ups aren't working! I hope it's just a loose connection. Needs to be tested and checked out!
Today, Friday, I started my car and the battery light came back on! This means that there is definitely something wrong with the alternator of the car. Needs to be tested and possibly even replaced!
Too much money that I don't have to fix these things. Sigh!
Last week, I discovered that the front left side of the bumper on my car was knocked loose so it is sort of dangling a little bit. Needs to be re-attached!
On Thursday, I took my guitar to practice and the pick ups aren't working! I hope it's just a loose connection. Needs to be tested and checked out!
Today, Friday, I started my car and the battery light came back on! This means that there is definitely something wrong with the alternator of the car. Needs to be tested and possibly even replaced!
Too much money that I don't have to fix these things. Sigh!
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Dear December
Dear December seems like a pretty cool catch phrase - I am so amazing for coming up with it, haha. Just jokes. I love Decembers; and this one is going to be awesome. With no real homework left in the term, and only 2 exams to finish off school, I'll get to go home and see all my friends and family again!
I'm always amazed at how many people are looking out for me back in Edmonton when I don't even know it. It's quite surreal, to be quite honest, to think that my church is actually caring for me even though they don't know all the details of what's going on with me 400 km away. I love you guys!
Christmas time is also really fun! My parents always wonder if we should still put up the tree now that we're older; but the answer is obvious - of course we should! I don't know if it'll be up this year though, haha. I actually don't even remember if it went up last year. But I know for sure that if we put it up, it probably isn't going to come down until February.
Anyways, as I am relaxing in my bed to wind down for the day, here are a couple of other things I will be looking forward to in December!
So, dear December, please make December a legendary month and a great finish to the year!
Sincerely, Nathan. <3
I'm always amazed at how many people are looking out for me back in Edmonton when I don't even know it. It's quite surreal, to be quite honest, to think that my church is actually caring for me even though they don't know all the details of what's going on with me 400 km away. I love you guys!
Christmas time is also really fun! My parents always wonder if we should still put up the tree now that we're older; but the answer is obvious - of course we should! I don't know if it'll be up this year though, haha. I actually don't even remember if it went up last year. But I know for sure that if we put it up, it probably isn't going to come down until February.
Anyways, as I am relaxing in my bed to wind down for the day, here are a couple of other things I will be looking forward to in December!
- Food that is not from the cafeteria! Oh my gosh, you have no idea how sick I am of this stuff!
- My own bed. Queen size. None of this "double bed" business.
- Privacy. I have literally had none of that here.
- Shopping! Shopping in Edmonton is still better than shopping in Calgary
- Hopefully jamming with the old worship team too.
- New shoes! My dad has a $100 gift card to Sportchek for me to buy new shoes!
- The calmness and peacefulness of the Christmas season
- New Years. As fun as 2011 was, I am ready for 2012 to arrive.
So, dear December, please make December a legendary month and a great finish to the year!
Sincerely, Nathan. <3
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