Last week I was invited to join the EMC (English Ministry Committee), and I accepted. So tonight was supposedly the sixth meeting of this year, and my first time. I have to admit that it was pretty awesome. It feels that I have power now, so I will begin to plot my coup to take over and rule the world!
All joking aside, I feel very privileged to be able to be part of the leadership group that runs our English Congregation. I do realize that I am the youngest in the committee by quite a bit, but I'm okay with that; it also seems that everyone else, at least by the looks of it, are quite welcoming to having a noob like me join them. I'm not quite sure what I have to offer to this group of experience and knowledgeable people yet, because throughout the meeting, everything that everyone said seemed very polished and well spoken. But, nonetheless, I will do my best to give input where I see fit. I would never have believed that my opinion meant enough for an invitation into a leadership committee that runs a congregation in a church. I guess that some people see something in me that I can't even see in myself. But again, I feel very blessed.
On a funny note, when we got to the topic of Breakforth in January, we somehow got into talking about getting as many people to go. And since we were trying to pull some numbers, somebody pointed out that if everyone in the committee brought themselves and their significant other, it would accumulate for about half of the total we need. Then I realized that I was the only person in the room without potentially having a significant other; and that kinda drew eyes towards me and a few laughs, but it's all good! I am still a teenager, and a child at heart, so my time will come, haha.
All in all, I look forward to all the different obstacles and challenges that I will face in the next year while on the committee. It feels as if I finally have some significance, lol. I've always wanted to end a blog post with "lol", so here it is.
LOL.
OH! Yeah, song of the day:
Faber Drive - G-get Up and Dance
Monday, September 28, 2009
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Love or Hate
The weekend is now over. The Oilers' preseason schedule ended with an exciting 5-4 win over the 'Nucks. I wouldn't normally blog so much about hockey, but I am so intrigued and excited to see what the season will be like for our team.
There are so many different reactions to our team this year. Some people, who I would never, for the life of me, suspect turn against the Oilers in predicting a bad season to come out and say that we'll finish close to last place in the conference. There are also the faithfully optimistic who looks on the good of the team and say that we are definitely a playoff contender. I stand somewhere in the middle, but a little close to the optimistic side of things.
I think that whether you love or hate our team this year, it will be interesting to see how the season turns out. That's why I am heavy on the hopeful side in that making the playoffs would make everyone, who doubted them, wrong. But also, if the year doesn't turn out great, I won't be too disappointed because this year, in reality, is more of an adapting year - a year of change.
With final cuts approaching, I would hate to be Pat Quinn and company in determining the starting roster for October 3rd. Based on all the pressers that I've listened to, this is what I think the lineup might look like, as well as what I would prefer based on what Quinn has said and done.
Jacques - Horcoff - Hemsky
Penner - Gagner - Cogliano
O'Sullivan - Comrie - Stone
Moreau - Brule - Stortini
MacIntyre
Reddox
Souray - Gilbert
Visnovsky - Smid
Grebeshkov - Staios
Strudwick
Out: Nilsson, Pisani, Pouliot
The bottom 4 forward spots are so tough to work with. We have an incredible depth and it's almost impossible to predict what Quinn wants. I think that the moment we signed Comrie, Nilsson was done, and I just don't think very much of Nilsson anymore. Pisani could stick instead of MacIntyre, but I believe that having MacIntyre on our team DOES make a difference. Having just Stortini doesn't have enough of a deterrence effect on other team's big fighters. However, saying goodbye to Pisani will be hard because he's a good player, but overpaid. I also really like Reddox. Pouliot is useless; exhibit A, his "pubis situation". Also, I believe this Oilers' team needs a shakeup, like cutting a veteran, to send a message through the lineup that we have to play hard. I know not everyone will agree with what I have, but that's okay, that's the fun part of it all.
Since this is so popular now:
The Script - We Cry
There are so many different reactions to our team this year. Some people, who I would never, for the life of me, suspect turn against the Oilers in predicting a bad season to come out and say that we'll finish close to last place in the conference. There are also the faithfully optimistic who looks on the good of the team and say that we are definitely a playoff contender. I stand somewhere in the middle, but a little close to the optimistic side of things.
I think that whether you love or hate our team this year, it will be interesting to see how the season turns out. That's why I am heavy on the hopeful side in that making the playoffs would make everyone, who doubted them, wrong. But also, if the year doesn't turn out great, I won't be too disappointed because this year, in reality, is more of an adapting year - a year of change.
With final cuts approaching, I would hate to be Pat Quinn and company in determining the starting roster for October 3rd. Based on all the pressers that I've listened to, this is what I think the lineup might look like, as well as what I would prefer based on what Quinn has said and done.
Jacques - Horcoff - Hemsky
Penner - Gagner - Cogliano
O'Sullivan - Comrie - Stone
Moreau - Brule - Stortini
MacIntyre
Reddox
Souray - Gilbert
Visnovsky - Smid
Grebeshkov - Staios
Strudwick
Out: Nilsson, Pisani, Pouliot
The bottom 4 forward spots are so tough to work with. We have an incredible depth and it's almost impossible to predict what Quinn wants. I think that the moment we signed Comrie, Nilsson was done, and I just don't think very much of Nilsson anymore. Pisani could stick instead of MacIntyre, but I believe that having MacIntyre on our team DOES make a difference. Having just Stortini doesn't have enough of a deterrence effect on other team's big fighters. However, saying goodbye to Pisani will be hard because he's a good player, but overpaid. I also really like Reddox. Pouliot is useless; exhibit A, his "pubis situation". Also, I believe this Oilers' team needs a shakeup, like cutting a veteran, to send a message through the lineup that we have to play hard. I know not everyone will agree with what I have, but that's okay, that's the fun part of it all.
Since this is so popular now:
The Script - We Cry
Monday, September 21, 2009
Breakfast At Timmy's
I had the pleasure to go to Tim Horton's for breakfast, with Uncle Alfred, today. For most people, it was just another Monday morning, a start to a new week. I very rarely, if ever, go to Tim Horton's on a weekday morning for breakfast, but I got to experience it today. If you are wondering, I had a great chat with our next English Pastor (it's going to be hard to adjust to Ps. Alfred from Uncle Alfred), and I believe that he will be an excellent pastor for our congregation.
However, the reason for this post is because of an occurrence that happened while I was waiting for Timmy's to get the food ready. I was sitting at the table waiting, patiently, and across from me were two elderly ladies enjoying tea together. They both looked very spirited from my view, and it was probably enhanced by the way the sun was shining through the window. As I'm trying to make myself look occupied, I couldn't help but overhear the conversation these two ladies were having. They were talking about participating in line dancing. When I heard about this - I can't exactly remember which dance they were talking about - two things immediately came to mind. The first one was that I was reminded of when we used to have to do social dancing in school. Those times of dancing were probably the most awkward for many people, and I don't think I need to explain it to you. The second thing that came to my mind was a very pleasant thought. It was that of a carefree feeling kind of energy that was emitting from the two of them. You can totally sense it in the tone of their voices, their facial expressions and everything about them. I thought to myself that it must be pretty awesome to be their age and to live so righteously.
So after this little encounter, I was inspired to rethink my thoughts about age. I now believe that being a child and being retired are the two best stages in life. Why? Because you get to actually live without the worry of a busy lifestyle that the majority of people seem to have.
Pretty sweet, eh?
However, the reason for this post is because of an occurrence that happened while I was waiting for Timmy's to get the food ready. I was sitting at the table waiting, patiently, and across from me were two elderly ladies enjoying tea together. They both looked very spirited from my view, and it was probably enhanced by the way the sun was shining through the window. As I'm trying to make myself look occupied, I couldn't help but overhear the conversation these two ladies were having. They were talking about participating in line dancing. When I heard about this - I can't exactly remember which dance they were talking about - two things immediately came to mind. The first one was that I was reminded of when we used to have to do social dancing in school. Those times of dancing were probably the most awkward for many people, and I don't think I need to explain it to you. The second thing that came to my mind was a very pleasant thought. It was that of a carefree feeling kind of energy that was emitting from the two of them. You can totally sense it in the tone of their voices, their facial expressions and everything about them. I thought to myself that it must be pretty awesome to be their age and to live so righteously.
So after this little encounter, I was inspired to rethink my thoughts about age. I now believe that being a child and being retired are the two best stages in life. Why? Because you get to actually live without the worry of a busy lifestyle that the majority of people seem to have.
Pretty sweet, eh?
Friday, September 18, 2009
Rejuvenated
There was a whole lot of rejuvenating being done over this past week. And even though I'm still unemployed, I am a much happier person now than I was last week. I feel great, thanks for asking. Hockey has began again - the Oilers started their preseason games this week - and AWANA began as well. However, I must take an intermission first, then I will come back to write about them.
So now that I'm back and refreshed a bit, I'm ready to go. I always find new joy every time we start up AWANA for the year. Seeing these kids and being able to work with them by helping them grow is one of the biggest honors I have, and I want to do my best to help them grow the way that they should. I know I had something I wanted to say during the night, but I've forgotten now. So I guess that's too bad. I really look forward to getting to know these kids more throughout the year. I have to admit, though, that I'm not the fondest of my small group, because I was stuck with all the kids that are harder to control. But I guess that it's a good challenge for me in teaching me how to discipline and that I get to see that these kids just want to be loved. So it's pretty sweet.
Hockey's preseason has also begun, and boy am I really excited for the Oilers this year. This year more than the last couple, I am so excited to see what our team can accomplish under a new voice in Pat Quinn and Tom Renney. I know that players-wise we didn't really get much better, but the fact that we have a proven coach makes it all the reason to be happy. And a lot of times when people come to critiquing the Oilers, they forget that we were in a playoff spot for much of last year. What screwed us over was an uninspired team because we grew out of the MacT era. So I definitely we can make a run for a playoff spot this year!
Patrick O'Sullivan; keep an eye on him, he's quickly becoming one of my favorites.
So now that I'm back and refreshed a bit, I'm ready to go. I always find new joy every time we start up AWANA for the year. Seeing these kids and being able to work with them by helping them grow is one of the biggest honors I have, and I want to do my best to help them grow the way that they should. I know I had something I wanted to say during the night, but I've forgotten now. So I guess that's too bad. I really look forward to getting to know these kids more throughout the year. I have to admit, though, that I'm not the fondest of my small group, because I was stuck with all the kids that are harder to control. But I guess that it's a good challenge for me in teaching me how to discipline and that I get to see that these kids just want to be loved. So it's pretty sweet.
Hockey's preseason has also begun, and boy am I really excited for the Oilers this year. This year more than the last couple, I am so excited to see what our team can accomplish under a new voice in Pat Quinn and Tom Renney. I know that players-wise we didn't really get much better, but the fact that we have a proven coach makes it all the reason to be happy. And a lot of times when people come to critiquing the Oilers, they forget that we were in a playoff spot for much of last year. What screwed us over was an uninspired team because we grew out of the MacT era. So I definitely we can make a run for a playoff spot this year!
Patrick O'Sullivan; keep an eye on him, he's quickly becoming one of my favorites.
Friday, September 11, 2009
Edmonton Oilers 2009-2010 Season [Predictions]
I've been wanting to do this for a few days, but I needed to wait for the right time. Loser time again! I went back to last year's predictions and I was way off on everything. But then again, the entire season was just a big letdown. I have never stopped watching an Oilers game by choice, but it happened last year because it was very depressing to see some uninspired players play under a coach that played the guys he was crushing on more than anyone else.
For the next few moments, I will try to recap a bit of last season to remind myself of what happened. Stayed tuned for the actual predictions underneath this paragraph. If you are interested in what I think, read on. The one thing that stood out, in terms of players, was our defense. Souray reminded us of how good a player he reall is. Visnovsky, my favorite current Oiler, is fantastic; just sucks that he got injured. As for our forwards, the only thing I really feel the need to say is that, although his production went down, you can really see Gagner start to grow into a much better - Hemsky-like - player. I'm very excited to see what he and Cogliano will accomplish this year.
Last year's prediction: 45-30-7 [97 points]
Last year's actual: 38-35-9 [85 points] WAY off LOL
This year's prediction: 42-32-10 [94 points]
With the addition of Comrie back into the lineup, it really messed up how I think the line combinations can end up. So my point predictions will be based on how I would like to see our lines, and hopefully the way Quinn sees as well. There are many combinations that I would like to see, but since we might ice three scoring lines with the players we have, this is my safest and most logical guess.
Line 1: Penner - Horcoff - Hemsky
-Horcoff is our best suited first line center because I don't think Gagner is ready
-Penner, yes, it's Penner, but if he's motivated, he can really open up space for Hemsky to go
Line 2: O'Sullivan - Gagner - Cogliano
-O'Sullivan has the best all-around game, so he can shoot Gagner's passes and be the defensive mind
-Cogliano's speed can help him gun up the right side, and he sucks at faceoffs
Line 3: Nilsson - Comrie - Pisani
-Nilsson, when he wants, is incredible, so he plays Hemsky's role
-Comrie is pretty much Horcoff, with worse faceoff abilities, but just shooting Nilsson's pucks
-Pisani is our best defensive forward, he can have a multi-purpose
Line 4: Moreau - Brule - (Filler)
-Fourth lines are always hard to predict because they change a lot
-Moreau is a lock, and I'd like to think Brule makes the team based on management comments
Defense 1: Souray - Gilbert
Defense 2: Grebeshkov - Visnovsky
Defense 3: Smid/Strudwick - Staios
-Basically the same as last year.. Our defense is stud
Here come my bold predictions. Remember, the stats assume the players each play 84 games. The new NHL schedule is an 84 game season.
Name: Goals - Assists - Points
Ales Hemsky: 24 - 61 - 85 [He can do it if he's healthy]
Sam Gagner: 15 - 42 - 57 [He's going to be a huge playmaker on that line]
Lubomir Visnovksy: 13 - 42 - 55 [He was our best defenseman when he went down]
Shawn Horcoff: 19 - 35 - 54 [Defensive role will diminish offense]
Sheldon Souray: 19 - 35 - 54 [Lubo being healthy means not as many goals]
Patrick O'Sullivan: 20 - 33 - 53 [Most versatile player on the team]
Tom Gilbert: 11 - 42 - 53 [Played most of the year with a bad back, 50 is possible]
Dustin Penner: 26 - 22 - 48 [He's going to have a big year]
Andrew Cogliano: 22 - 26 - 48 [He wants 30 goals, scored 18 on third line]
Mike Comrie: 17 - 29 - 46 [Not sure what to expect with injury last year]
Robert Nilsson: 10 - 34 - 44 [I think his time with the Oilers is over]
Denis Grebeshkov: 6 - 31 - 37 [He really bloomed, but Lubo is healthy again]
Fernando Pisani: 14 - 22 - 36 [He has a shot. Defense more important though]
Ethan Moreau: 11 - 18 - 29 [Our leader's on-ice role is going]
Gilbert Brule: 7 - 15 - 22 [He's very dynamic as well]
Steve Staios: 5 - 9 - 14 [Steady Steve, what can I say]
Ladislav Smid: 1 - 10 - 11 [He'll finally score a goal, lol]
Zack Stortini: 3 - 6 - 9 [Zack attack!]
*No predictions for other players, because they won't do much anyway.
Goals total: 243 - with this roster. A 9 goal increase from last year, VERY doable. In fact, if we don't score more, I'd be pretty sad.
Okay, well, with our new coaching staff, I do believe some players will be able to have a much better season. There were some players that I predicted last year that actually came incredibly close to their actual achievement (ie. Gilbert actually got 45 points). I also underpredicted some players because I don't want my expectations to be too high.
Training camp starts tomorrow! I'm so excited (=
For the next few moments, I will try to recap a bit of last season to remind myself of what happened. Stayed tuned for the actual predictions underneath this paragraph. If you are interested in what I think, read on. The one thing that stood out, in terms of players, was our defense. Souray reminded us of how good a player he reall is. Visnovsky, my favorite current Oiler, is fantastic; just sucks that he got injured. As for our forwards, the only thing I really feel the need to say is that, although his production went down, you can really see Gagner start to grow into a much better - Hemsky-like - player. I'm very excited to see what he and Cogliano will accomplish this year.
Last year's prediction: 45-30-7 [97 points]
Last year's actual: 38-35-9 [85 points] WAY off LOL
This year's prediction: 42-32-10 [94 points]
With the addition of Comrie back into the lineup, it really messed up how I think the line combinations can end up. So my point predictions will be based on how I would like to see our lines, and hopefully the way Quinn sees as well. There are many combinations that I would like to see, but since we might ice three scoring lines with the players we have, this is my safest and most logical guess.
Line 1: Penner - Horcoff - Hemsky
-Horcoff is our best suited first line center because I don't think Gagner is ready
-Penner, yes, it's Penner, but if he's motivated, he can really open up space for Hemsky to go
Line 2: O'Sullivan - Gagner - Cogliano
-O'Sullivan has the best all-around game, so he can shoot Gagner's passes and be the defensive mind
-Cogliano's speed can help him gun up the right side, and he sucks at faceoffs
Line 3: Nilsson - Comrie - Pisani
-Nilsson, when he wants, is incredible, so he plays Hemsky's role
-Comrie is pretty much Horcoff, with worse faceoff abilities, but just shooting Nilsson's pucks
-Pisani is our best defensive forward, he can have a multi-purpose
Line 4: Moreau - Brule - (Filler)
-Fourth lines are always hard to predict because they change a lot
-Moreau is a lock, and I'd like to think Brule makes the team based on management comments
Defense 1: Souray - Gilbert
Defense 2: Grebeshkov - Visnovsky
Defense 3: Smid/Strudwick - Staios
-Basically the same as last year.. Our defense is stud
Here come my bold predictions. Remember, the stats assume the players each play 84 games. The new NHL schedule is an 84 game season.
Name: Goals - Assists - Points
Ales Hemsky: 24 - 61 - 85 [He can do it if he's healthy]
Sam Gagner: 15 - 42 - 57 [He's going to be a huge playmaker on that line]
Lubomir Visnovksy: 13 - 42 - 55 [He was our best defenseman when he went down]
Shawn Horcoff: 19 - 35 - 54 [Defensive role will diminish offense]
Sheldon Souray: 19 - 35 - 54 [Lubo being healthy means not as many goals]
Patrick O'Sullivan: 20 - 33 - 53 [Most versatile player on the team]
Tom Gilbert: 11 - 42 - 53 [Played most of the year with a bad back, 50 is possible]
Dustin Penner: 26 - 22 - 48 [He's going to have a big year]
Andrew Cogliano: 22 - 26 - 48 [He wants 30 goals, scored 18 on third line]
Mike Comrie: 17 - 29 - 46 [Not sure what to expect with injury last year]
Robert Nilsson: 10 - 34 - 44 [I think his time with the Oilers is over]
Denis Grebeshkov: 6 - 31 - 37 [He really bloomed, but Lubo is healthy again]
Fernando Pisani: 14 - 22 - 36 [He has a shot. Defense more important though]
Ethan Moreau: 11 - 18 - 29 [Our leader's on-ice role is going]
Gilbert Brule: 7 - 15 - 22 [He's very dynamic as well]
Steve Staios: 5 - 9 - 14 [Steady Steve, what can I say]
Ladislav Smid: 1 - 10 - 11 [He'll finally score a goal, lol]
Zack Stortini: 3 - 6 - 9 [Zack attack!]
*No predictions for other players, because they won't do much anyway.
Goals total: 243 - with this roster. A 9 goal increase from last year, VERY doable. In fact, if we don't score more, I'd be pretty sad.
Okay, well, with our new coaching staff, I do believe some players will be able to have a much better season. There were some players that I predicted last year that actually came incredibly close to their actual achievement (ie. Gilbert actually got 45 points). I also underpredicted some players because I don't want my expectations to be too high.
Training camp starts tomorrow! I'm so excited (=
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
o9.o9.o9
I'm really not too sure what's going on at the moment. I just remembered that today is September 9, 2009, so I thought I really needed to make a post today, for the heck of it. So, umm, what do you want to talk about?
OH! The craziest thing. I don't know what's wrong with me, a midlife crisis or whatever, but I am beginning to have a whole ton of childhood-ish memories flood back into my nonfunctional brain. Maybe it's just to fill the empty void that is what I call my command center.
So, Twisted Metal 4 came in the mail last night, and the moment I looked at the case, years of memories came back. I remember sleepovers at the cousin's house. I remember we would purposely set up our beds in the living room with the TV so we can play all night long. Talk about good times. I played a bit and this game is pretty darn hard. I suck at it pretty badly, but I will try to beat it eventually.
I also don't like it when I think of something really awesome, then forget what it was a little while later. And speaking on that topic, I am inspired to write something. This something is not just anything. I'm going to attempted to write another song. I hope that it can be a song that's good enough for me to record, unlike the first one. But since I am an awful lyricist, it might take some time.
The Oilers will start training camp this Saturday, and man am I stoked. There are so many question marks going into this year, but I just want the season to begin. It seems all I'm doing with my sad days at home is read hockey articles and wait for it to begin. Oh yeah, I will write a post about my season predictions in a few days; hopefully it becomes an annual thing, and my predictions this year will be better than last year.
Happy 09/09/09, make a wish!
OH! The craziest thing. I don't know what's wrong with me, a midlife crisis or whatever, but I am beginning to have a whole ton of childhood-ish memories flood back into my nonfunctional brain. Maybe it's just to fill the empty void that is what I call my command center.
So, Twisted Metal 4 came in the mail last night, and the moment I looked at the case, years of memories came back. I remember sleepovers at the cousin's house. I remember we would purposely set up our beds in the living room with the TV so we can play all night long. Talk about good times. I played a bit and this game is pretty darn hard. I suck at it pretty badly, but I will try to beat it eventually.
I also don't like it when I think of something really awesome, then forget what it was a little while later. And speaking on that topic, I am inspired to write something. This something is not just anything. I'm going to attempted to write another song. I hope that it can be a song that's good enough for me to record, unlike the first one. But since I am an awful lyricist, it might take some time.
The Oilers will start training camp this Saturday, and man am I stoked. There are so many question marks going into this year, but I just want the season to begin. It seems all I'm doing with my sad days at home is read hockey articles and wait for it to begin. Oh yeah, I will write a post about my season predictions in a few days; hopefully it becomes an annual thing, and my predictions this year will be better than last year.
Happy 09/09/09, make a wish!
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Bum 101: A Guide For Dummies
So, as I sit in front of the computer pondering options for what I can do today, I was thinking about school, and that if I was not to take this semester off completely, I'd be starting today with everyone else. But, in an attempt to try to lighten things up a little bit, for myself and anyone dreading school, I'm going to write a guide on teaching you how to avoid school and be a bum!
Most people should be either finished their first class, or close to it. By this time, you're either really excited to see what kind of attractive people are in your next class, hoping your professor isn't a lame one that is a little too friendly, or the one I'm usually thinking about, lunch and home time.
**Disclaimer** I'm not responsible for any offenses or injuries caused by any stereotypical remarks that you may or may not read by accident or on purpose. Please do not take them seriously, as I am only failing in my attempt to be funny; so, instead, giving a little chuckle while reading through the guide would be much appreciated!
This guide, for dummies, is designed to aid you in becoming a bum in five simple steps! If you follow them closely, you'll be out of school and being a bum within a year, give or take a few parent spankings.
Step Won --
This is the all important first step that is so key to your success in becoming a bum. Since the new school year just began, it's probably easiest to start now. You must find absolute dissatisfaction with what you're doing right now. Whatever you might be studying, or doing, you must find a way to think to yourself, that "this really isn't my thing. Sure I can listen to what mom and dad say, and become whatever they want me to become, but I feel there is a greater calling from within myself to tell me that I really don't want to be cutting people open when I faint at the sight of blood." After you cast doubt into your own mind about the direction you're heading in life, you're off to a great start, because doubt is like a torpedo: it waits for the perfect time, and it explodes on everything you are and can even put you into slight depression.
I called this "step won", simply because once you've accomplished this step, you've pretty much won already. Becoming a bum is now that much easier.
For reference's sake, let me give you an example on how "step won" may come to be -- It's September, and you're starting your first year of university. Why? Just because you've finished high school and it seems to be what the cool kids are doing. When you applied for university, you had absolutely no idea what you wanted to have accomplished when you came out of it, so going with the most logical thing that relates to your passion, let's say music, makes the most sense. After two weeks of school, you suddenly realize to yourself on the way home: I really don't want to be here, what the heck am I doing? Music isn't your thing. Well, it's your passion, but it isn't the RIGHT thing. Congrats! You've accomplished the first step, give yourself a pat on the back.
Step Two --
Now that you've convinced yourself that you don't like what you're doing and want to pursue other paths, a lot of what comes next just falls into place. Since school has just started when you began your trek to becoming a bum, you have some time and flexibility to doing this next step. Depending on where you are now in the school year, you've got to find a way to cover for yourself. What does that mean? In one simple phrase, it is this: slowly drop out of school. You don't like what you're doing, so why bother staying in all the classes that you're barely passing? *Exception* the only exception for not dropping out is if you have passed the drop out deadline date, meaning you don't get your damn money back if you withdraw from the class. Now, you have to be careful here, you don't want to drop everything at once, or else people will be onto you faster than you can drop the Niagra Falls when you've eaten some moldy sandwich for lunch. You have to make dropping out very subtle. When people ask you how your classes are going, you can't come out and directly tell them you're dropping out of school class by class. You've got to beat around the bush as best you can and drop a few hints here and there telling that you are trying to drop out because you want to become a bum.
You've decided you don't want to stay in the music program, but you're not quite sure of what you want yet, so you start planning for your early dismissal of this prison they call university. Skipping classes and using the excuse of playing games is a good way to start. However, it doesn't quite do what you want it to do, so you decide to stretch it out a bit and withdraw from your Psych 105 class. That class is boring as hell anyway, so may as well save you some torcher from having to listen to some Australian dude with a Chinese name that thinks he's "da bomb". So, to put emphasis on and abuse of the term "dropping out of school", you decide that you will not return to your old and stinky university the next semester.
Step Three --
This is the most important step in becoming a temporary, or forever, bum. I may have mentioned that "step won" is the most important, but I lied. And since you've made it this far in reading my awesome guide, you deserve to know that. This step is also optional, by the way. To avoid making yourself look like some idiot loser that just wants to drop school, you need to find the real plan right about now. Remember in "step won", how you thought to yourself that there is some greater calling for you instead of the crappy program you're doing? Well, now is the time for you to shine. You need to pretty much separate yourself from almost all of mankind and society to try to rip out your heart and ask it some questions about where you want to go and who you want to be. Yeah, that's right, this is where it gets deep. If you can't handle the pressure and being on the ocean floor, I totally understand why you chose to skip this step. However, it is all vital that this step is completed with flying colors so that you don't embarrass yourself and dig yourself into a craphole when you've officially become a bum and asked why you've become one.
Music didn't work out. Your heart has been screaming at you for about half year to go to Bible college and become a pastor. But since the soundwaves don't travel too well inside your body, those screams from your heart have pretty much turned to whispers. So, with confirmation from other fellow parasites*, you've finally found your one true path. It's not the prettiest sight to see for an eighteen year old kid, but it's been decided that this is where life wants to take you.
*Refer to Agent Smith, top agent in the Matrix series, and his view on what humans really are.
Step four on the floor --
Have you ever tried to sell something? No? Well, now's your chance. In order to sell something, you're going to want to make people buy it. In order for people to want to buy it, you have to sell it good. Now that you have your destination, you'll need a declaration, a proclamation, to tell people why it is that you want to do what you want to do. You need to informally compose a non-fictional story that allows you to sell your position. I know, for a fact, that throughout some point in your school life, you've tried to be a businessman or woman. Do you remember, back in elementary, when you tried to rip your friend off by "selling" some cheap ripoff that you have by trading it for something that is "lower" value that they possess? Yeah, that's right, I'm talking about fake Pokemon cards. Once you've marketed up your proposition, you will be well on your way to your destination of being a successful bum, because people now know where you're going and why you would become a bum, if you do succeed.
You've decided you want to become a pastor. Generally, your parents are the first people you tell about this evil scheme that you have of becoming a pastor. Let me warn you now, the parents are not ones that you should try to sell your fake Pokemon cards to. Your parents deserve the 100% legit story to why you want to become a pastor. But aside from your parents, feel free to tell, or not tell, anyone else information about your hopes and dreams. You decide to tell anyone who asks about your future, because they care enough about you to wonder. Okay, that seems fair game for now.
Step Five --
Uh oh. Hey Nate Dawg, I've decided, I think your guide is awesomely awesome, but I don't really want to be a bum anymore. I tell you this: hey man, don't worry about it. You can still carry on without having to be a bum, because this last step is really the only step you needed to accomplish to become a bum. If you no longer desire to be a bum, just skip out on this last step and continue to live high. You've decided that it is a good time to work right now, because summer is four months long for university and two months long for grade school, so it's generally what people do within this time frame. There will always be those who choose not to work when given the opportunity; those people, I must say, are almost natural bums! Bums of the world, unite! However, just because working is not in the hizzle during the summer, doesn't make you a bum. When September rolls around again, people will start crowding the market place and begin purchases of overly priced school supplies because they weren't Asian enough to plan ahead of time and by more of what you needed when the REAL deals were there six years ago. So, in all this madness, all you've got to do is keep cool, sit back, and relax a - just a little bit.
School has now begun, and you're sitting at home with no job because you decided to follow this incredible guide to being a bum. Congratulations! You've officially become a bum! You now have options to what kind of level of a bum you want to be. Of course, you can attempt to get a part time job, because bumming at home sucks: this is the lowest level of a bum. You can volunteer and get a part time job! If you want to be a superbum, go buy yourself a PlayStation and all the Final Fantasy games and Twisted Metal 4, and play your heart out. I am a man of inspiration, I love the whole concept of inspiring. So, my favorite option is that you can sit in front of the computer on the morning when everyone goes back to school, and write a guide to becoming a bum. And then, you can go play your Twisted Metal 4.
Throughout the extended four months of university summer, you've been told time and time again to get a job. Not for the lack of trying, you haven't been able to find one. One reason is that it's really hard to find a job nowadays, so that's been a pretty big setback. You're now sitting in front of a computer on the first day of school writing a guide to becoming a bum that was fueled by inspiration. You're broke, you have no money to move to Calgary to attend Bible college, and you lack life experience. So, the best plan is to become a lowleveled bum. However, life doesn't always give you lemonade for the lemons you order, so finding a full-time job has been difficult, thus bumping you up to a superbum. But nonetheless, your goal of becoming a bum has been reached, so you will continue to carry on and chase pavements. Bible college is still a year away, so there is still time to downgrade into becoming a lowleveled bum.
And that's a wrap to my guide to becoming a bum in five simple steps. I hope I've provided a little bit of entertainment for anyone that isn't so fond of going back to school. In case you haven't noticed, you now know how my first year and summer of university went, and what my plans are for the future.
This guide was completed in: one hour, nineteen minutes.
Most people should be either finished their first class, or close to it. By this time, you're either really excited to see what kind of attractive people are in your next class, hoping your professor isn't a lame one that is a little too friendly, or the one I'm usually thinking about, lunch and home time.
**Disclaimer** I'm not responsible for any offenses or injuries caused by any stereotypical remarks that you may or may not read by accident or on purpose. Please do not take them seriously, as I am only failing in my attempt to be funny; so, instead, giving a little chuckle while reading through the guide would be much appreciated!
This guide, for dummies, is designed to aid you in becoming a bum in five simple steps! If you follow them closely, you'll be out of school and being a bum within a year, give or take a few parent spankings.
Step Won --
This is the all important first step that is so key to your success in becoming a bum. Since the new school year just began, it's probably easiest to start now. You must find absolute dissatisfaction with what you're doing right now. Whatever you might be studying, or doing, you must find a way to think to yourself, that "this really isn't my thing. Sure I can listen to what mom and dad say, and become whatever they want me to become, but I feel there is a greater calling from within myself to tell me that I really don't want to be cutting people open when I faint at the sight of blood." After you cast doubt into your own mind about the direction you're heading in life, you're off to a great start, because doubt is like a torpedo: it waits for the perfect time, and it explodes on everything you are and can even put you into slight depression.
I called this "step won", simply because once you've accomplished this step, you've pretty much won already. Becoming a bum is now that much easier.
For reference's sake, let me give you an example on how "step won" may come to be -- It's September, and you're starting your first year of university. Why? Just because you've finished high school and it seems to be what the cool kids are doing. When you applied for university, you had absolutely no idea what you wanted to have accomplished when you came out of it, so going with the most logical thing that relates to your passion, let's say music, makes the most sense. After two weeks of school, you suddenly realize to yourself on the way home: I really don't want to be here, what the heck am I doing? Music isn't your thing. Well, it's your passion, but it isn't the RIGHT thing. Congrats! You've accomplished the first step, give yourself a pat on the back.
Step Two --
Now that you've convinced yourself that you don't like what you're doing and want to pursue other paths, a lot of what comes next just falls into place. Since school has just started when you began your trek to becoming a bum, you have some time and flexibility to doing this next step. Depending on where you are now in the school year, you've got to find a way to cover for yourself. What does that mean? In one simple phrase, it is this: slowly drop out of school. You don't like what you're doing, so why bother staying in all the classes that you're barely passing? *Exception* the only exception for not dropping out is if you have passed the drop out deadline date, meaning you don't get your damn money back if you withdraw from the class. Now, you have to be careful here, you don't want to drop everything at once, or else people will be onto you faster than you can drop the Niagra Falls when you've eaten some moldy sandwich for lunch. You have to make dropping out very subtle. When people ask you how your classes are going, you can't come out and directly tell them you're dropping out of school class by class. You've got to beat around the bush as best you can and drop a few hints here and there telling that you are trying to drop out because you want to become a bum.
You've decided you don't want to stay in the music program, but you're not quite sure of what you want yet, so you start planning for your early dismissal of this prison they call university. Skipping classes and using the excuse of playing games is a good way to start. However, it doesn't quite do what you want it to do, so you decide to stretch it out a bit and withdraw from your Psych 105 class. That class is boring as hell anyway, so may as well save you some torcher from having to listen to some Australian dude with a Chinese name that thinks he's "da bomb". So, to put emphasis on and abuse of the term "dropping out of school", you decide that you will not return to your old and stinky university the next semester.
Step Three --
This is the most important step in becoming a temporary, or forever, bum. I may have mentioned that "step won" is the most important, but I lied. And since you've made it this far in reading my awesome guide, you deserve to know that. This step is also optional, by the way. To avoid making yourself look like some idiot loser that just wants to drop school, you need to find the real plan right about now. Remember in "step won", how you thought to yourself that there is some greater calling for you instead of the crappy program you're doing? Well, now is the time for you to shine. You need to pretty much separate yourself from almost all of mankind and society to try to rip out your heart and ask it some questions about where you want to go and who you want to be. Yeah, that's right, this is where it gets deep. If you can't handle the pressure and being on the ocean floor, I totally understand why you chose to skip this step. However, it is all vital that this step is completed with flying colors so that you don't embarrass yourself and dig yourself into a craphole when you've officially become a bum and asked why you've become one.
Music didn't work out. Your heart has been screaming at you for about half year to go to Bible college and become a pastor. But since the soundwaves don't travel too well inside your body, those screams from your heart have pretty much turned to whispers. So, with confirmation from other fellow parasites*, you've finally found your one true path. It's not the prettiest sight to see for an eighteen year old kid, but it's been decided that this is where life wants to take you.
*Refer to Agent Smith, top agent in the Matrix series, and his view on what humans really are.
Step four on the floor --
Have you ever tried to sell something? No? Well, now's your chance. In order to sell something, you're going to want to make people buy it. In order for people to want to buy it, you have to sell it good. Now that you have your destination, you'll need a declaration, a proclamation, to tell people why it is that you want to do what you want to do. You need to informally compose a non-fictional story that allows you to sell your position. I know, for a fact, that throughout some point in your school life, you've tried to be a businessman or woman. Do you remember, back in elementary, when you tried to rip your friend off by "selling" some cheap ripoff that you have by trading it for something that is "lower" value that they possess? Yeah, that's right, I'm talking about fake Pokemon cards. Once you've marketed up your proposition, you will be well on your way to your destination of being a successful bum, because people now know where you're going and why you would become a bum, if you do succeed.
You've decided you want to become a pastor. Generally, your parents are the first people you tell about this evil scheme that you have of becoming a pastor. Let me warn you now, the parents are not ones that you should try to sell your fake Pokemon cards to. Your parents deserve the 100% legit story to why you want to become a pastor. But aside from your parents, feel free to tell, or not tell, anyone else information about your hopes and dreams. You decide to tell anyone who asks about your future, because they care enough about you to wonder. Okay, that seems fair game for now.
Step Five --
Uh oh. Hey Nate Dawg, I've decided, I think your guide is awesomely awesome, but I don't really want to be a bum anymore. I tell you this: hey man, don't worry about it. You can still carry on without having to be a bum, because this last step is really the only step you needed to accomplish to become a bum. If you no longer desire to be a bum, just skip out on this last step and continue to live high. You've decided that it is a good time to work right now, because summer is four months long for university and two months long for grade school, so it's generally what people do within this time frame. There will always be those who choose not to work when given the opportunity; those people, I must say, are almost natural bums! Bums of the world, unite! However, just because working is not in the hizzle during the summer, doesn't make you a bum. When September rolls around again, people will start crowding the market place and begin purchases of overly priced school supplies because they weren't Asian enough to plan ahead of time and by more of what you needed when the REAL deals were there six years ago. So, in all this madness, all you've got to do is keep cool, sit back, and relax a - just a little bit.
School has now begun, and you're sitting at home with no job because you decided to follow this incredible guide to being a bum. Congratulations! You've officially become a bum! You now have options to what kind of level of a bum you want to be. Of course, you can attempt to get a part time job, because bumming at home sucks: this is the lowest level of a bum. You can volunteer and get a part time job! If you want to be a superbum, go buy yourself a PlayStation and all the Final Fantasy games and Twisted Metal 4, and play your heart out. I am a man of inspiration, I love the whole concept of inspiring. So, my favorite option is that you can sit in front of the computer on the morning when everyone goes back to school, and write a guide to becoming a bum. And then, you can go play your Twisted Metal 4.
Throughout the extended four months of university summer, you've been told time and time again to get a job. Not for the lack of trying, you haven't been able to find one. One reason is that it's really hard to find a job nowadays, so that's been a pretty big setback. You're now sitting in front of a computer on the first day of school writing a guide to becoming a bum that was fueled by inspiration. You're broke, you have no money to move to Calgary to attend Bible college, and you lack life experience. So, the best plan is to become a lowleveled bum. However, life doesn't always give you lemonade for the lemons you order, so finding a full-time job has been difficult, thus bumping you up to a superbum. But nonetheless, your goal of becoming a bum has been reached, so you will continue to carry on and chase pavements. Bible college is still a year away, so there is still time to downgrade into becoming a lowleveled bum.
And that's a wrap to my guide to becoming a bum in five simple steps. I hope I've provided a little bit of entertainment for anyone that isn't so fond of going back to school. In case you haven't noticed, you now know how my first year and summer of university went, and what my plans are for the future.
This guide was completed in: one hour, nineteen minutes.
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