Man, this week has been flat out weird. There is a lot of stuff that happened this week that I probably cannot remember all of them to write about. It has been a weird month and a weird start to the year of 2009, but I guess greater things have yet to come, so there should not be any need to worry my life away. See what I did there? Two songs in one sentence, quite an accomplishment.
The first thing that jumps out in my mind throughout this past week was the way happiness had been portrayed in my dreams. Two concecutive nights I had extremely similar dreams. The dreams didn't directly tell of any happiness or whatever, but being able to interpret them lead me to coming to the conclusion of it being portrayed very oddly. My only guess as to why they were shown the way it was is because of some bigger events that has happened recently. As for what happened in the dreams, that is for myself to keep to.
School this past week had also been a big gong show. It's been such a blur, partly because I don't remember very much of it, and partly because I have zoned out in the majority of my classes, or else I wasn't there at all. So horrible of me. I think the only good thing is that I'm somewhat on schedule with studying for my Econ midterm on tuesday. I also have to finish reading a book for english, but this book has next to no appeal to me so I am not going to finish it; if i can finish half this book by monday, I'll be so happy. However, that is but a mere dream that won't happen.
I also went out and took a shot at my own kidneys when I bought a 16 gig iPod touch. I am so happy that I finally bought it after a year of speculation, but I expected it to be an 8 gig and not a 16 gig. Oops. I am poor now, seriously, but I cannot be happier that I have this toy with me. It's so useful and is the ultimate anti-boredom object I own. The only thing is that I need to get myself some protective equipment so the little baby doesn't get all scratched up.
Let's go Oilers! Good bye dreadful January, hello beautiful February.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Monday, January 26, 2009
Sleepless Nights
How many times have you heard this cliche'd line? Well, it's not really that I am not able to sleep, I haven't been able to sleep the amount that I usually get. I am already someone that needs a lot of sleep - somewhere between eight or nine hours is usually good - but I guess this is what it's like being an introvert. Everytime I went to bed over the last month or so, I think a lot, sometimes maybe even too much. Because of this thinking, if I go to bed at 11:00, I would be thinking and contemplating for upwards of an hour to an hour and a half. I know, 12:30, no big deal, you don't sleep till 2 or 3 or even later, right? Well, I'm probably not the first to tell you that you're going to see some potential health problems in your life down the road because you sleep so late.
What do I think about? Well, a lot of things. I think about anything and everything that I encounter in my life. Things I think about may range from events that happened during the day, to things dealing with my life, to things going on around the world, to other things that God puts in my head. In some ways, I am a critical thinker regarding certain topics and many times I can go so deep into my own thoughts, that an hour or two may go by and I don't even know it.
I am not saying that all this thinking is bad, but it is rather good. I just have to be able to adjust myself to be able to give that room for myself to cave into myself and think however long I need to think. It is always nice to gain insight on a whole bunch of topics, but please don't be surprised if I start logging off msn at 10 o'clock, haha. I am someone that does a lot of reflecting and praying, as I feel it is very important for me to do so in order to become a better person.
Yeah, that's right, I'm not quite as immature and childish as I seem.
Sanctus Real - Whatever You're Doing
What do I think about? Well, a lot of things. I think about anything and everything that I encounter in my life. Things I think about may range from events that happened during the day, to things dealing with my life, to things going on around the world, to other things that God puts in my head. In some ways, I am a critical thinker regarding certain topics and many times I can go so deep into my own thoughts, that an hour or two may go by and I don't even know it.
I am not saying that all this thinking is bad, but it is rather good. I just have to be able to adjust myself to be able to give that room for myself to cave into myself and think however long I need to think. It is always nice to gain insight on a whole bunch of topics, but please don't be surprised if I start logging off msn at 10 o'clock, haha. I am someone that does a lot of reflecting and praying, as I feel it is very important for me to do so in order to become a better person.
Yeah, that's right, I'm not quite as immature and childish as I seem.
Sanctus Real - Whatever You're Doing
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Unsung
I have been a happy guy lately so trying to write about something not necessarily labeled as "happy" will be a bit weird, but I'll try anyway.
Now, everyone has an reputation of some sort that is attatched to their identity. When you think of someone, you generally have a bunch of characteristics, personalities, or just generally some things that you know go along with that person. Some people are flat out arrogant and just perceive themselves as supreme, whereas others will think that they are worthless. This self esteem business is fine, but in this world, it is not entirely about how you look at yourself, it's also how people look at you based on what kind of person you are and what you've done. There are people that do so many things that should be recognized but never get it; then there are those who do next to absolutely nothing and have all the glory to go with it.
I came across something a couple days ago that I felt really bad about having to read about it. I felt bad because based on the circumstances leading up to this event, it seems that what I read was, to my interpretation, something along the lines of frustration or disappointment. To keep things annonymous to prevent any spread of false or misinterpreted information, I will use myself as an example because I can relate perfectly to this situation I am talking about. Sometimes when I have been talking to people over the past few years, it seems that the only reason they would talk to me is because I'm supposedly a good guitar player. All other circumstances aside, without knowing much of who I am or what I'm like, people have shown interest in talking to me just because I am "SO GOOD AT GUITAR!!" Recently, I have indirectly thrown hints of challenging people who make this comment to me. The conversation could go somewhere along the lines of how I started playing guitar and how I because so good at it. My usual response to these types of questions is simply because I love to play and I practice a lot. Then I would subtly change the subject just a little bit so that I get the person I am talking to to maybe make a comment about myself as a person based on something I said. The usual response ends up being "XD well, you seem like a nice person too." I'm sure anyone else with a right mind will be nice to other people that they don't know too well.
If you do not know what I am getting at with this, I apologize for either not being clear enough in my explanation, or your ignorance towards caring about others' feelings, for the lack of a better word. I will make the point again, except this time more straight forward. Ignoring what I can do on my part, most people I know only see me as a guitarist and really do not acknowledge anything underneath that image that I created for myself. This becomes frustrating because even though you create the person you are, others will only see you as that person you've created and claims it as the only legitimate method of interact with you. In the end, you have both sides of the party feeling somewhat uneasy and awkward because in one end, you have a disappointed person who might have lost a bit of confidence in themself because they recognize that they are only perceived as so-and-so maybe because they either didn't do a good enough job of allowing people to know them better, or just that people only see the material characteristics that person has to offer; and in the other end, somewhere down the road you only see that person as what you viewed them as: a guitarist, a cook, or a soccer player. Then the other side of the relationship will think to themselves, "man, maybe I should've tried to know them a little bit better, or atleast show a little more respect for who they are instead of just the impression I have given them of how I view them in the material world."
Another long post, so I end here. There are people out there who deserve so much more than we give them credit for. What does it take for us to get out of our self-centered, selfish lives and begin to look into other people's hearts for who they truly are?
I would, for sure, not mind if someone came up to me one day and just sincerely say, "hey Nathan, I know you're really good at guitar, but I just want to thank you for the person that you are." So to you who inspired me to write about this, I thank you for who you are, and what you have done in the lives of our young generation. You are an amazing person to be around and can always be approached to with a smile on your face. You are definitely not who you seem to be perceived to be and hopefully you will be able to recognize that we failed to give you the props you deserve for being a hardworking and loyal person with a big heart.
Now, everyone has an reputation of some sort that is attatched to their identity. When you think of someone, you generally have a bunch of characteristics, personalities, or just generally some things that you know go along with that person. Some people are flat out arrogant and just perceive themselves as supreme, whereas others will think that they are worthless. This self esteem business is fine, but in this world, it is not entirely about how you look at yourself, it's also how people look at you based on what kind of person you are and what you've done. There are people that do so many things that should be recognized but never get it; then there are those who do next to absolutely nothing and have all the glory to go with it.
I came across something a couple days ago that I felt really bad about having to read about it. I felt bad because based on the circumstances leading up to this event, it seems that what I read was, to my interpretation, something along the lines of frustration or disappointment. To keep things annonymous to prevent any spread of false or misinterpreted information, I will use myself as an example because I can relate perfectly to this situation I am talking about. Sometimes when I have been talking to people over the past few years, it seems that the only reason they would talk to me is because I'm supposedly a good guitar player. All other circumstances aside, without knowing much of who I am or what I'm like, people have shown interest in talking to me just because I am "SO GOOD AT GUITAR!!" Recently, I have indirectly thrown hints of challenging people who make this comment to me. The conversation could go somewhere along the lines of how I started playing guitar and how I because so good at it. My usual response to these types of questions is simply because I love to play and I practice a lot. Then I would subtly change the subject just a little bit so that I get the person I am talking to to maybe make a comment about myself as a person based on something I said. The usual response ends up being "XD well, you seem like a nice person too." I'm sure anyone else with a right mind will be nice to other people that they don't know too well.
If you do not know what I am getting at with this, I apologize for either not being clear enough in my explanation, or your ignorance towards caring about others' feelings, for the lack of a better word. I will make the point again, except this time more straight forward. Ignoring what I can do on my part, most people I know only see me as a guitarist and really do not acknowledge anything underneath that image that I created for myself. This becomes frustrating because even though you create the person you are, others will only see you as that person you've created and claims it as the only legitimate method of interact with you. In the end, you have both sides of the party feeling somewhat uneasy and awkward because in one end, you have a disappointed person who might have lost a bit of confidence in themself because they recognize that they are only perceived as so-and-so maybe because they either didn't do a good enough job of allowing people to know them better, or just that people only see the material characteristics that person has to offer; and in the other end, somewhere down the road you only see that person as what you viewed them as: a guitarist, a cook, or a soccer player. Then the other side of the relationship will think to themselves, "man, maybe I should've tried to know them a little bit better, or atleast show a little more respect for who they are instead of just the impression I have given them of how I view them in the material world."
Another long post, so I end here. There are people out there who deserve so much more than we give them credit for. What does it take for us to get out of our self-centered, selfish lives and begin to look into other people's hearts for who they truly are?
I would, for sure, not mind if someone came up to me one day and just sincerely say, "hey Nathan, I know you're really good at guitar, but I just want to thank you for the person that you are." So to you who inspired me to write about this, I thank you for who you are, and what you have done in the lives of our young generation. You are an amazing person to be around and can always be approached to with a smile on your face. You are definitely not who you seem to be perceived to be and hopefully you will be able to recognize that we failed to give you the props you deserve for being a hardworking and loyal person with a big heart.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Say What?
ALES HEMSKY. that is all.
Seriously, it is about time that our star player gets the elite status that he deserves around the league. Hemmer is easily one of the top 10 most exciting and purely skilled players in the world today. The ability to make people better and control the game by himself is just so fascinating.
In other words, school work is starting to stack up and I am barely holding on. Something that is important to me that we discussed about in Sunday school for a brief moment was to be able to stay true to our faith. A lot of people have multiple personalities depending on where they are and who they're with. I am still somewhat like this. It's so important to stay true to faith, meaning that who you are in church is who you are outside of church and that you have a constant mindset of what you believe and why you believe. A lot of people are so different at school than when they are at church, and it bothers me quite a bit. I am not perfect but I am trying very hard to be the same person I am in church and outside of church. Because in the end, it is not our buildings, or words that people react and respond to. It's the actions that we take as Christians that will get people talking. I am not ashamed to admit to anyone that I am a firm believer in Jesus Christ, but I can understand the hesitation when you are answering to some non-believing friends. The way that we act in our everyday lives is how our reputations are built as people, as believers. We have to be under constant influence from God in that we dwell every moment of our lives in his Spirit. When we are able to do so, we can reach out to those that are less fortunate, those who lack the love, and those who are lost in the world. It is the way that we treat these people that are going to get people to stop in their tracks and look over and say, "yo, whatever you've got over there, I want some of that man, I want some of that Jesus." If we are able to do this, then we shine and rep the Most High proudly, and it doesn't matter who we are, what color our skin, what denomination, or where you are from, we have fellowship with one another. Through all this, we can see Jesus' light shining bright in every part of the world where we are having fellowship with one another.
Thanks to tobyMac.
DC Talk - In the Light, check it.
Seriously, it is about time that our star player gets the elite status that he deserves around the league. Hemmer is easily one of the top 10 most exciting and purely skilled players in the world today. The ability to make people better and control the game by himself is just so fascinating.
In other words, school work is starting to stack up and I am barely holding on. Something that is important to me that we discussed about in Sunday school for a brief moment was to be able to stay true to our faith. A lot of people have multiple personalities depending on where they are and who they're with. I am still somewhat like this. It's so important to stay true to faith, meaning that who you are in church is who you are outside of church and that you have a constant mindset of what you believe and why you believe. A lot of people are so different at school than when they are at church, and it bothers me quite a bit. I am not perfect but I am trying very hard to be the same person I am in church and outside of church. Because in the end, it is not our buildings, or words that people react and respond to. It's the actions that we take as Christians that will get people talking. I am not ashamed to admit to anyone that I am a firm believer in Jesus Christ, but I can understand the hesitation when you are answering to some non-believing friends. The way that we act in our everyday lives is how our reputations are built as people, as believers. We have to be under constant influence from God in that we dwell every moment of our lives in his Spirit. When we are able to do so, we can reach out to those that are less fortunate, those who lack the love, and those who are lost in the world. It is the way that we treat these people that are going to get people to stop in their tracks and look over and say, "yo, whatever you've got over there, I want some of that man, I want some of that Jesus." If we are able to do this, then we shine and rep the Most High proudly, and it doesn't matter who we are, what color our skin, what denomination, or where you are from, we have fellowship with one another. Through all this, we can see Jesus' light shining bright in every part of the world where we are having fellowship with one another.
Thanks to tobyMac.
DC Talk - In the Light, check it.
Monday, January 19, 2009
Greater Things
Life was designed to be challenging. It is the only way that we may come to see God's greatness. If life were a cakewalk many people would go by life without ever hearing about God's great news. Life often throws you around and kicks you from side to side, it's supposed to. I firmly believe that there is beauty in the ugly from these experiences. I think that with this belief is how I came to have a focus of putting your attention in the right place, at the right time. It's so easy to give up and forget the world and end up a failure. If we do choose this path, what do we accomplish? What's your excuse? Life is just an accident? I would like to disagree. Even if you had no beliefs or faith, no values of any kind, you have to be able to admit that even in a self-centered point of view, life is not an accident. You live each moment to build up the next. Every thing you do and encounter builds you to knowing something new about yourself, adding something to yourself that no one can have - your character.
I know many of us have been six feet from the edge and were thinking about it, some even with a foot off the edge. But the amazing thing is that, as long as we are willing, all we have to do is turn around and walk away from that cliff. I've been there myself, I know what it's like. With all this being said, the song "God of This City" by Bluetree reminds me that God has greater things in store for us as a community, as a city, that have yet to come. Having the faith in this knowledge brings so much satisfaction in feeling that, yes life may be garbage right now, and things could not possibly get any worse, but there IS a way out of this because God runs this world. God is the King of this city. And as the most faithful King out there, He will never let us down even if we lose faith. There is no one like our God, and this cannot be any more true. It just takes some experience and some realization. Hope whoever comes across this will see that as well. Many may have already heard this song but I want to put the lyrics here as a reminder. In the deepest, darkest places of our world and in our lives, God's light burns bright, waiting for people to come and take hold of it.
You're the God of this city
You're the King of these people
You're the Lord of this nation
You Are
For there is no one like our God
There is no one like our God
Greater things have yet to come
Great things are still to be done in this city
Greater things have yet to come
Great things are still to be done here
You're the Lord of Creation
The Creator of all things
You're the King above all Kings
You Are
You're the strength in our weakness
You're the love to the broken
You're the joy in the sadness
You Are
I know many of us have been six feet from the edge and were thinking about it, some even with a foot off the edge. But the amazing thing is that, as long as we are willing, all we have to do is turn around and walk away from that cliff. I've been there myself, I know what it's like. With all this being said, the song "God of This City" by Bluetree reminds me that God has greater things in store for us as a community, as a city, that have yet to come. Having the faith in this knowledge brings so much satisfaction in feeling that, yes life may be garbage right now, and things could not possibly get any worse, but there IS a way out of this because God runs this world. God is the King of this city. And as the most faithful King out there, He will never let us down even if we lose faith. There is no one like our God, and this cannot be any more true. It just takes some experience and some realization. Hope whoever comes across this will see that as well. Many may have already heard this song but I want to put the lyrics here as a reminder. In the deepest, darkest places of our world and in our lives, God's light burns bright, waiting for people to come and take hold of it.
You're the God of this city
You're the King of these people
You're the Lord of this nation
You Are
For there is no one like our God
There is no one like our God
Greater things have yet to come
Great things are still to be done in this city
Greater things have yet to come
Great things are still to be done here
You're the Lord of Creation
The Creator of all things
You're the King above all Kings
You Are
You're the strength in our weakness
You're the love to the broken
You're the joy in the sadness
You Are
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Friday? Nope
Since tuesday of this past week, I have been thinking it is friday pretty much everyday. It is only the first week back and people dread the first week or so, so I guess it is okay to be thinking and wishing it's friday everyday. Welp, today is thursday so I am not too far off from friday. "Thank goodness it's friday" seems to be a phrase that runs in me almost every friday. I love relaxing and doing nothing, what can I say? Well I guess the first week of school has been pretty decent this time around. I am "enjoying" this more than the first week of September in a sense that I know more people in my classes now. I am still not sold on a few courses yet but I hope I can get back into some sort of a work ethic because I still don't have a couple textbooks.
I am looking forward to saturday because I get to practice with my worship team again! I think for the last few weeks I have been on some sort of musical drug because I am getting loads of ideas on almost every aspect of music. I developed a couple new "theories" in terms of viewing music, I found some new riffs for my guitar, I can hit some high notes a little more comfortable now, lol, and I am developing a lot of new things kind of like when I first got into this worship business. It's like a booming economy or the "playoff" Oilers where we dominate the game. Speaking of the Oilers, I cannot be more frustrated with the team right now. I will be positive going into every game but I will not know how I will come out of it. I don't care if we win or lose but the inconsistency in our game is just beyond belief. Some games we will look like the Sharks and others we will look like six of me playing on a team. Oh well, I will bank on something happening then after the all-star break, the Oilers will explode and go on crazy winning streaks. Dattebayo! Whoa, where did that come from?
Happy friday.
I am looking forward to saturday because I get to practice with my worship team again! I think for the last few weeks I have been on some sort of musical drug because I am getting loads of ideas on almost every aspect of music. I developed a couple new "theories" in terms of viewing music, I found some new riffs for my guitar, I can hit some high notes a little more comfortable now, lol, and I am developing a lot of new things kind of like when I first got into this worship business. It's like a booming economy or the "playoff" Oilers where we dominate the game. Speaking of the Oilers, I cannot be more frustrated with the team right now. I will be positive going into every game but I will not know how I will come out of it. I don't care if we win or lose but the inconsistency in our game is just beyond belief. Some games we will look like the Sharks and others we will look like six of me playing on a team. Oh well, I will bank on something happening then after the all-star break, the Oilers will explode and go on crazy winning streaks. Dattebayo! Whoa, where did that come from?
Happy friday.
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Not So Unusual
Today is, uhh January 4th? I've been meaning to write down some "objectives" for myself towards this coming new year. Resolutions is a very sketchy word, and like others, I don't like to use it because it's been butchered quite a bit. I've come across something that caught my attention recently and it said that it is one thing to have goals, but another to have goals and to write them down. Writing them down or recording them somewhere brings much higher success than just having them, so here I am, writing mine down.
I've thought long and hard, that's what she said, about these and I didn't want to just set some lame cliche'd things like get fit or stop eating so much, etc. This time of year, I think I've come to approach this slightly different than I would have done it before. Now that I have finally matured into somewhat more of a "adult", lol yeah right, I think I can take myself to the next step in making myself a better person.
Looking at a lot of my problems or weaknesses or whatever you want to call them, it comes down to one simple thing: confidence and faith in myself. Within a few years, I managed to lose all confidence and faith in myself in pretty much all aspects of my life. That's why some people might think that I like to "step on myself". But it's only because it's what I think about myself, so my opinion of myself shouldn't really be taken into that much of an account. Therefore, I need to build a little bit of confidence in myself so it can boost all the areas of me that need to be improved. Things like initiative, communication, work ethic, whatever else, there's a lot of things I don't usually mention to people but just the littlest bit of confidence can probably help me go a long way. I would also like to be able to stand firm in my opinions and views of different things in life. Everyone gets tested in their beliefs and values constantly and if someone is weak in their faiths and values, they could crumble under the pressure and start having doubts and having to rethink what they believe in. In terms of faith as an example, it would be important to be rooted in God's word to be able to be firm in what you believe and why because Christians are constantly put to the test about these things. So this is just basically a "brief" generalization of what I'm hoping to do.
Another thing is I want to be able to step up to become a leader or role model in any area that I can. This easily goes with inspire to inspire. I want to be dependable and approachable in any situation that I may have an influence on. A huge value of mine is to be able to take inspiration and using it to inspire others the same way it inspired me. I also want to take myself to another level in terms of worship, to be able to come out as a leader in this aspect that others can follow upon.
Welp, 2009 looks to be an interesting year and I hope we can all grow and learn from this thing called life. There will be highs, there will be lows, but as long as we stay faithful to God and each other, we will be fine. Of course there will be times when we feel like giving up on life, because I see that happen to me a lot, but this is where.....
Sometimes in our lives we all have pain
We all have sorrow
But if we are wise
We know that there's always tomorrow
Lean on me, when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
'Til I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on
Please swallow your pride
If I have things you need to borrow
For no one can fill those of your needs
That you won't let show
You just call on me brother, when you need a hand
We all need somebody to lean on
I just might have a problem that you'll understand
We all need somebody to lean on
If there is a load you have to bear
That you can't carry
I'm right up the road
I'll share your load If you just call me
... thank you Bill Withers
Happy '09
I've thought long and hard, that's what she said, about these and I didn't want to just set some lame cliche'd things like get fit or stop eating so much, etc. This time of year, I think I've come to approach this slightly different than I would have done it before. Now that I have finally matured into somewhat more of a "adult", lol yeah right, I think I can take myself to the next step in making myself a better person.
Looking at a lot of my problems or weaknesses or whatever you want to call them, it comes down to one simple thing: confidence and faith in myself. Within a few years, I managed to lose all confidence and faith in myself in pretty much all aspects of my life. That's why some people might think that I like to "step on myself". But it's only because it's what I think about myself, so my opinion of myself shouldn't really be taken into that much of an account. Therefore, I need to build a little bit of confidence in myself so it can boost all the areas of me that need to be improved. Things like initiative, communication, work ethic, whatever else, there's a lot of things I don't usually mention to people but just the littlest bit of confidence can probably help me go a long way. I would also like to be able to stand firm in my opinions and views of different things in life. Everyone gets tested in their beliefs and values constantly and if someone is weak in their faiths and values, they could crumble under the pressure and start having doubts and having to rethink what they believe in. In terms of faith as an example, it would be important to be rooted in God's word to be able to be firm in what you believe and why because Christians are constantly put to the test about these things. So this is just basically a "brief" generalization of what I'm hoping to do.
Another thing is I want to be able to step up to become a leader or role model in any area that I can. This easily goes with inspire to inspire. I want to be dependable and approachable in any situation that I may have an influence on. A huge value of mine is to be able to take inspiration and using it to inspire others the same way it inspired me. I also want to take myself to another level in terms of worship, to be able to come out as a leader in this aspect that others can follow upon.
Welp, 2009 looks to be an interesting year and I hope we can all grow and learn from this thing called life. There will be highs, there will be lows, but as long as we stay faithful to God and each other, we will be fine. Of course there will be times when we feel like giving up on life, because I see that happen to me a lot, but this is where.....
Sometimes in our lives we all have pain
We all have sorrow
But if we are wise
We know that there's always tomorrow
Lean on me, when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
'Til I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on
Please swallow your pride
If I have things you need to borrow
For no one can fill those of your needs
That you won't let show
You just call on me brother, when you need a hand
We all need somebody to lean on
I just might have a problem that you'll understand
We all need somebody to lean on
If there is a load you have to bear
That you can't carry
I'm right up the road
I'll share your load If you just call me
... thank you Bill Withers
Happy '09
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